


When Two Worlds Collide

by Neutral03



Series: Slight Voltron AU [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety, Artist Keith, At some point all of this stuff will happen if not in this part of the series than another part, Attempted Murder, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Confused Lance, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Depression, Different ending than orginal series, F/F, F/M, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Gen, Hurt Characters, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Has Abandonment Issues, Keith (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Keith (Voltron) Has Issues, Keith (Voltron) Has Panic Attacks, Keith (Voltron) has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith ends up woth glasses, Keith gets posioned, Lactose Intolerant Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, Love Bug AUish, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mpreg, Multi, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Shy Keith (Voltron), Sick Characters, Slow Burn, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Spanish speaking Lance, insomia, musican Lance, posioning, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2020-09-06 11:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 61,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20290837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neutral03/pseuds/Neutral03
Summary: Lance McClain always thought that he hated Keith Kogane with every fiber of his being. They were supposied rivals back in their Garrison days, and things didn't get that much better when they ended being Paladins of Voltron and ended up having to help save the whole entire universe from the Garla Empire. But then their lovable and courageous leader Takashi Shirogane or "Shiro" as he is better known as disappeared on them again. And the events that happen in the aftermath left him with the feeling that maybe the self deemed Lover Boy and the Loner of the team aren't that different after all. And with what they realize about each other could mean not only for their furture but the future and fate of the whole entire universe, along with their team.





	1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took so long to post. Things have been crazy, and I've been working on other projects on other sites. If you want to check me out on Wattpad underneath the same name, since I have a better chance of updating my stoires on there. Sorry, I'm not very good at updating in a timely matter.  
-N.

Sometimes the complete entity of space amazes Lance. The idea of space, and how expansive it is; especially with how it just seems to go on and on forever, would always entrance Lance when he was a young child, as he used to spend all of his time stargazing at night with all of his siblings. To Lance space had always been a never ending thought for, like an unattainable dream that was always just slightly out of reach for him. Lance never thought that he could actually make it there, and that he would be stuck on Earth for the rest of his life. The day that he was excepted into the Garrison was one of the happiest days of his young life at the time. It was even better than when his Mami' used to let him lick the spoon first whenever she would bake cookies or cakes before his Papi' could take the bowl away from her. So space had come to remind him of an old friend that's always there for you in your time of need, regardless of what's going on at the time. That thought always seemed to help calm and soothe him whenever he was partically lonely or homesick. Then there are the times that space has turned out to be the form of another super villain to him, just like the Zarkon and the Garla Empire. At the same time that space was a like a warm welcoming friend that, it also happened to be a cruel, cold, painful and powerful mistress. And she seemed to be very interested in all of the ways that she could make Lance's life a complete and utter living Hell to him. Especially on those occasions where he feels very lonely, homesick and very outta tune with the rest of the world and his team. Which seemed to be happening a lot more lately now, what with the pressure of the war and to defeat the Garla looming over his head constantly. During those times, space really seems like what in reality it is a vacuum, a vacuum that just sucks up everything in it's path and destroys it in a blink of an eye. In those rare time, that have been becoming more frequent lately It can feel like that space was beginning to suffocate him. It's like he can't escape it's pull no matter how hard he tries, and that just makes Lance have a unsettling feeling of unease. Sometimes he worries that space will just suck him up like the rest of the universe and he'll be destroyed like everyone else. In Lance's worst days Lance fears that he'll be lost and trapped in space for forever, and that he'll never get to see his family ever again. He constantly worries about how his family must be worried sick about him and how they probably think that he's dead now, and is gone forever. And worrying about how he must of "died." On those nights Lance cries himself to sleep at night. 

Which brings Lance to where he is now, wandering the halls of The Castle of Lions late at night. Lance had started getting into this habit not that long after the thrill of being a defender and savior of the universe had finally began to wear off. Walking through the halls at night when everybody else was asleep in their rooms, has always seemed to put his mind at ease. After those walks he'd always sleep like a baby. Walking the halls at night gave Lance's brain something to do, it was an activity to keep him occupied. Having a mixture of ADD and ADHD can sort of do that to a person. When he was little, his parents had him on meds to try and control it, but he didn't exactly remember to bring them with him when him, Hunk, and Pidge had snuck out of the Garrison the night that Shiro crashed landed in the desert. Though it was a good thing that he brought his Fidget Spinner with him in his pocket to help him when he gets overwhelmed in situations. Having his little stim toys with him, made being away from Earth just a little bit easier on him. And so far nobody had really paid that much attention to his spastic behavior, and has written off as him just being him. Deep down Lance knows that the team is like a second family to him and that they would never mock him for his condition, but it always made him anxious whenever Hunk would bring up telling the rest of them. It also helped that there would be a less likely chance of him getting caught doing it by anybody else. Though the only two people who he was worried abut figuring him out were Keith and Allura. He didn't want Allura to think any less of him for being different than the rest of them. And he always thought that Keith would just use it as a way to make fun of him, he knows that Keith probably wouldn't go that, but he could never be to careful since he didn't actually know that much about Keith. He knew that they all would worry about him, especially Hunk. And nobody needed to worry about him on top of everything else that's going on in their very chaotic lives. So walking around the Castle had become sort of a habit for Lance to do almost every night that he could before bed, for over a good month now at least. And it really helped Lance to calm down after a very tough mission, that really left him shaken. It didn't take him that long to realize that the cause of his stress induced insomniatic walking was the recent loss of their leader Shiro. The loss of their beloved Voltron Leader had hit everyone pretty hard. And it didn't take a genius to acknowledge that a certain Red Paladin was taking this certain loss even harder than the rest of Team Voltron. Even the space mice and Kattle Necker were upset that he was gone. The dynamics of Team Voltron hadn't been the same ever since their last face off with Zarkon. Sometimes Lance wonders if things will ever go back to being like they used to. 

While on his rounds through the Castle, especially this late at night, Lance never in a million years would have ever thought that anything would happen to him during his little midnight outtings. So you could say that Lance was completely surprised and in shock that when he walked into the common room and saw that Keith was sitting there on the couch. Lance had decided to hang back at the door's threshold and observe the situation since Keith hadn't seem to notice his presence in the room yet. So he stood back and just watched his supposed rival, with and instense, curious stare, and yes he knew how creepy and stalker-ish it sounded. He just wanted to see what Keith was up too. At the moment Keith still seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that he was no longer the sole person in the room anymore, or he just didn't seem to care one way or another who was there with him. Lance had noticed that Keith was sitting curled up into a ball in the middle of the couch, with his head resting on his knees. Even though Keith was dead silent Lance couldn't tell if he was crying or not but he could defiantly tell that his body was shaking. This was the first time that Lance could actually get a good look at Keith since Shiro had disappeared on him a couple of months ago. At least he thinks it was months, time works out differently in space than it does on Earth. 

Upon getting a closer look at his rival, his self appointed arch nemesis in his opinion, Lance could tell that Keith wasn't acting like Keith. To Lance he seemed more closed off and yet more vulnerable than he could have ever thought possible. To be sitting curled up in a ball, and being made to look as small as possible wasn't normal or typical Keith behavior. Keith was the type of guy who was you typical bad-boy loner, that everyone wanted to be or swooned over him. (Not that Lance would ever admit to either one of those things, he just hated, he means hates the guy's guts ok!) He liked to lean up against the wall with his arms crossed. And he almost always gave off an air of superiority and that vibe of "I'm better than you." Well at least to Lance he gave of that type of impression to him ever since they were kids at the Garrison. And that's what always annoyed Lance about Keith. And with Keith being the team's hot head, and yes he is a hot head they even got him to admit it. Lance can remember when they got him to admit it in front of Shiro, the man almost died of laughter. It was so funny to watch their calm, cool and collect leader crumble into sheer and utter laughter at the expense of his pseudo baby brother. Everybody could tell that Keith was completely embarrassed about it but didn't say anything about it for his brother's sake. And later on Keith had confided in Lance that he didn't mind being made fun of if it meant that he got his older brother back to the way that he used to act before the Kerberos mission that changed his life. And Lance didn't fail to notice the fond look in Keith's eyes as he told him this. It reminded Lance of the love that him and all of his siblings share with each other, and how much he misses that bond they had. So seeing Keith so vulnerable and fragile looking especially when no body else was around kinda had Lance unnerved, just a little bit. That's when it hit him that maybe he should have listen more to Shiro's advice on being nicer to and befriending Keith. He always lectured them about how they had to work together as team and how that require as much team work as they could get. And he had always told Lance and reminded him repeatily on many occasions that him and Keith weren't that different after all. And had they just set their pride aside from the beginning then perhaps their relationship could have been different than it was now. 

Though there's no use dwelling on the past and what actually could have been between them when Shiro was still here with them. Now it has Lance thinking about things that he could do to change that. Maybe he could try and reach out to Keith now, extend the branch first, and that could possibly cause a blooming friendship between them. It got him thinking about how he should go and reach out to Keith now. It seemed like a good idea to Lance since Keith seemed like he needed somebody at the moment, what with his older brother vanishing and more than likely probably dead, not that long after he had just gotten Shiro back after thinking and believing that he was dead for over a year. And besides it's what Shiro wanted for them anyway, and it would be good for them in the long run of things. And who knows it might actually work out this time unlike all of the other attempts either made by one of them or the another member of Team Voltron. Normally when the two boys are left alone, it simulates the reactions of what happens when you mix electricity and water together. Those instances in turn normally portrayed what happened when you leave a curious child alone with a cup of water and an old T.V. The end results never turned out well for anyone and Lance can only assume that they gave up to keep from killing him and Keith while trying to get the two of them to play nice. Though maybe now being under different circumstances and being different people than they were when they first came to space maybe this could actually work out in the Team's favor. Now even though Lance has always been petty, spiteful, and hateful towards Keith and all that the two have done together, even he can admit that both of them along with the rest of the others have grown and changed in the amount of time that they have been in space. Lance himself could say that space has not only boosted his ego, but it has also considerably humbled him a lot. Believe it or not but actually being in space has made Lance more down to Earth. See that pun there! Anyway Lance had grown up a lot since they first came out here who knows how long ago. All that Lance can tell you is that it's been a long time since he's seen his family. He hadn't seen them in almost 4 months before he left, with the only exception being his sister Veronica who was working on becoming an analyst for the Garrison. Moving, on to his best friend, Lance can honestly say that Hunk Garret is a different Hunk than he was when they first arrived enough in space. Hunk has surprisingly gotten over most of his motion sickness issues. Hunk can now maneuver his Lion or any other type of space craft in any way shape or form and not end up hurling on anybody. Hunk has also grown a thick skin with a little bit of a back bone. He's no longer afraid to voice his opinions and plans that he has. He can also tell it to you like it is and now can stand up for himself, rather than just doing it for his friends. Next, was Pidge, boy has that little girl come a long way. Lance didn't think that anyone could be as assertive, mouthy, and bossy, yet kind gentle and as intelligent as Pidge. Lance sometimes forget that Pidge is younger than all of them, and that she's one of the only two girls on board of the Castle. She's still as determined as ever to find her brother and father as she was when they first got here if not more. And Lance can tell that she has grown increasingly attached to everyone here, especially Keith. He isn't quite sure what kind of connection that they have with each other but Lance knows that it runs deeper than people realize. Maybe it's the fact that neither one of them are that big of fan or being around people. Moving on to Shiro, Lance can honestly say that the man, the myth, the legend, that he had worshipped for years of his life was like nothing that he thought he would ever be. Getting to know Shiro made him seem more human to him, and helped get rid of the Idol worship that he had. Shiro was a giant nerd, he was a very intelligent man, with a heart at least 3 times the size it should be. Lance had watch the man crack up at the most random times, and it made him realize that Shiro is human and not that much older than them. A fact that most of the time Lance forgot about. Next, is the Princess, when Lance first met Allura he thought she was the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen since his mother. She was very regal and perfect in Lance's eyes, though over time that view changed in a multitude of ways. For example when Keith discovered his Garla background, and Allura threw a racist hissy fit. And how devastated Keith was after that when she wouldn't talk to him for a long time, and began to close up in on himself again. It warped his view of the woman that he thought would be the mother to his future children in a bad way. Lance can remember pulling her to the side not long after and giving it to her like it was, for how bad her treatment of Keith was. Even Coran was still treating Keith like normal and the Garla took everything away from him too. It was the first and only time that Lance could ever remember cussing Allura out like he did and he didn't regret it either. He didn't get in trouble for because Allura never bother to tell on him to Shiro, since he wasn't speaking to her either. Now, speaking of Coran, Lance can he hasn't changed as much as the rest of them have. Coran still tells story after story about his adventures as a youth on Altea and all of the trouble that he got into. One of the only big differences is that he treats everyone like they were his own children, Lance will tell anyone that Coran takes care of them like they're blood related. And that helps Lance's homesickness a little bit sometimes. And the last person on this list is their very own Red Paladin Keith. Keith has made some considerable changes in Lance's opinion. Keith had opened up to them a lot over their time in space. He'll actually laugh at people's jokes now! And he acts calmer and more subdued around Lance, it's become harder to rile him up about anything anymore. Don't get him wrong, Keith is still a hot head. but he's toned it done a little bit for the most part. Keith had made a lot of progress of being the loner type, and he was starting to come out of his shell. And the only big set backs were finding out that he's part Garla, and losing Shiro yet again. And since Lance was so lost in thought that he didn't realize that the Fidget Spinner that he always carried around with him had fallen out of his pajamas pants' pocket. That is until is landed on the floor with a very loud thump. It snapped him out of his trance, because the noise was so loud. It made him freeze, because he had realized to late that the noise had drawn Keith's attention away from his thoughts to where Lance was standing in the threshold of the doorway. He had caught Lance watching him, like a creepy stalker. He was busted. CRAP! 

For what felt like hours to Lance, could have even been days he was so freaked out, Keith and him had been locked in this sort of starring contest. Dark, beautiful vibrant indigo eyes, were locked onto a pair equally beautiful scared crystal blue eyes. Even though this really wasn't related to the his current conflict or any matter at hand, but Lance loved the way that Keith's bangs had fallen into his eyes. It made them look mesmerizing, and breath taking, in such an adorable way that it made Lance's heart hurt. (But he would never admit that to anyone, EVER!) That look made him appear to be younger and more fragile than Lance has ever remember him being. It was times like these that reminded Lance that him and Keith were the same age, with Keith being older by a couple of months, and that he held the whole entire universe's weight on his shoulders. It also made Lance realize that maybe that weren't that different from each other after all. The two boys still continued to look at each other, their eyes locked onto the other's with some sort of unbelievable intensity that Lance didn't know even exists. This lasted a little bit longer until Lance broke first because he couldn't take it anymore. (Real big shocker right?) 

"Uhh… Hey man fancy seeing you here..." Lance inwardly cringed at himself once those words left his mouth. He really needs to work on thinking before he speaks sometimes. Great, now Keith will probably think that Lance was an even bigger idiot than he probably already thought that he was. Well, at least he was prepared for any type of ridicule or taunting or teasing that Keith could throw at him. With their normal speaking routine being filled with mainly insults to each other, and slightly harmful gibes about each other Lance was prepared for it all. After all Lance was a big boy ans could take it just as good as he could give it. Though he was surprised when Keith never answered him back after he had spoken to him. Lance waited, and waited, and he waited some more, but Keith's expected snarky remark to leave Keith's mouth never came. As a matter of fact nothing happened after he spoke to Keith. He just sat in his spot on the couch, in silence. He looked like a statue in his frozen state starring at him. It was beginning to creep Lance out with how eerily calm he was being at the moment, and how it was so unlike Keith to do that. He was completely stoic, even more so than usual, it was so unlike Keith. Normal Keith would have been and about ranting and raving made, yelling and cussing out Lance in every language that he knew for Lance invading his private moment. Pardon his French, but Hell, normal Keith wouldn't have taken this long to notice that Lance was in the room with him and was watching him. But this Keith was sitting there, starring at him like he was see through. He looked shell-shocked, and not all there at the moment. He was still trembling, but it had seemed to have gotten worse as time has gone on. And the look in his eyes, was what got to Lance the most. It made him scared, rather that was scared for or of Keith he didn't know. He just knew that he didn't like that look in Keith's eyes. His eyes seemed to be empty, and hallow, almost completely lifeless. It was like he was some sort of robot that was devoid of all and any human emotions. And that freaked Lance out a lot. 

"Keith...Buddy, are you ok?" Lance asked softly. He was banking on the fact that maybe if he kept on talking, then maybe Keith would get fed up with his chattering and yell at him to shut up or something. Then he would be snapped out of whatever funk that he was in and they could move on with their respective lives. His plan backfired, because it didn't seem to be working in the slightest. "Mullet." Lance said this time a little bit harsher than before. His tone came off as harsher than Lance intended him to be but he was desperate here to get Keith to respond to him. Keith still didn't even flinch what so ever. Fine, if Keith didn't want to act like a normal person and talk things out, then Lance will do it for him. After marching over to the couch, Lance had furiously snapped his fingers in front of his face, trying to get his attention. Still Keith showed no signs of movement at all, not even the tiniest bit of a reaction. So Lance then figured that if that didn't work than maybe a more physical approach would do the trick. So, he grabbed Keith's shoulder to try and shake him out of his stupor. Though when Lance's hand made contact with Keith's shoulder was when Keith had begun to flip out on him. Lance didn't really believe his reaction at first to just a simple touch. Keith had flinched violently at the contact like he was being burned. And his eyes were scanning around the room like a wounded animal searching to see if it's predator was still out lurking around for it, and was looking for a way out to safety. In this flurry or movement, energy, and emotion Lance was to distracted to notice when Keith made a move to grab his arm and flip him over the couch. 

Once Lance was on the ground, trying to recover all of the air that was knocked out of him, Keith had sprung up from the couch and had bolted from the room out into the hallway. It was like there was some sort of fire licking at Keith's heels. As Lance laid there on the floor all that he could see was the ceiling of the common room as he heard Keith flee from the room. So he had missed Keith's raven locks disappearing out of the door as he ran away in what Lance could only guess was fear. It took awhile until he was able to get up from the ground to go and try to investigate what had just happened. When Lance was finally able to get up all that he could think about was how weird that interaction was between him and Keith. Like really weird, even for a Keith conversation to have happened. So you can only imagine how confused Lance was at what had just happened. And you better bet that Lance didn't sleep a wink that night because he was up all night worrying about Keith and what his little melt down was all about. Who knows. But Lance knew that he had to get to the bottom of this, whatever it took.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day after Keith and Lance's thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, things have been busy and it has taken me forever to update this.

The next morning Lance walked into the dinning room to have breakfast with the other Paladins, Allura, and Coran. He was dead tired and was lagging behind after the night he had last night. And on his way from his to breakfast, Lance began to look around the Castle for Keith on his way there. So far he had checked Keith's room, the bridge and training decks. And he has yet to find Keith in any of those locations. Giving up on his mission for the time being, Lance preceded to head to the dinning hall for breakfast. Upon entering the room Lance was shocked to see Keith sitting there in his usual chair for all of their meals. He was sitting in his seat across from Allura and Coran with no food and a vacant, haunted look in his eyes. It kinda creeped Lance out just a bit. So he decided to go to the kitchen where he knew that his best friend Hunk was, and maybe Pidge since she wasn't with the others. 

"Morning Buddy." Lance greeted Hunk as he walked into the kitchen. "Hey Lance, you're up early." Hunk said as he looked up from his cooking. "How did you sleep last night man." Lance sighed at the question as he started to think about his very weird encounter that he had with Keith last night. " Well to be honest with you man I didn't." The look of worry on Hunk's face at Lance's confession was well deserved. Even before space and at the Garrison Lance suffered from homesickness induced insomnia. It wasn't that bad at first, at the Garrison Lance still had Veronica with him and the two McClain siblings called their family every night like clock work. Though in space with no Ronnie or any way to contact his family had taken a large noticeable toll on his best friend. He has spent more than one night in Hunk's room, venting and crying over it. So Lance was quick to reassure his friend and put his worried mind at ease about the situation. "No. Now, before you start on your freak out triade Hunk, it's not what you think it is." Lance told him calmly. "It wasn't my insomnia this time that kept me up all night." Lance told him. "The reason that I didn't sleep at all last night had nothing to do with me or any of my family." He took a deep breath in between his thoughts to let it sink in for Hunk that he was indeed ok. After a few minutes Hunk let out a long suffering sigh and turned back to his best friend. " OK, so if you're fine then why were you up all night last night?" Hunk questioned him. That's when it hit Lance that he would have to tell Hunk about what had occurred last night between him and Keith in the lounge room. Lance was so screwed, he just didn't know it yet. 

After the 25 minutes that it took for Lance to explain why he was up all night last night, Hunk went into this thinking mode. During their conversation Hunk's face took on his blank mask, that concealed his true emotions with a very neutral expression, in a true Hunk-like manner that only he could pull out. Lance had hoped that Hunk wouldn't get mad at Keith for his outburst last night. it wasn't Keith's fault that Lance was to stupid to remember that he wasn't supposed to sneak up on Keith after the first time that he tried to do that. Part of the only reason that Lance told Hunk any of this was because he wanted his help on how to handle the Keith situation. Lance was terrified that there was something wrong with Keith and he wanted to help him through it. It was what Shiro would have done if he were here. Lance just needed to know where he was supposed to start with it all. Lance wasn't Shiro, he was just Lance and he wasn't good at being Shiro so he needed Hunk to help guide him through this part. He just wanted to help his teammate. 

5 minutes later after Lance had explained everything to Lance he finally answered him. "Well Buddy, I don't know exactly what to tell you here Lance. " Hunk told him as he hugged Lance. Lance sighed to himself at that. He was afraid that Hunk would tell him that. He couldn't do anything to help Keith if he didn't know what to do first. "Well, what am I supposed to do then ?" Lance asked him. He couldn't just leave this issue alone! This was serious, what happened last night with Keith was something that you couldn't just forget about like it was nothing. All that Lance could think about now was the scared, and wounded look in Keith's violet eyes the night before when he tried to reach out to him. He had to do something to help him, even though the two of them hated each other and were rivals. The guy had just lost the only person in the world that was like family to him, and now he was all alone again. That stuff hurts. And Lance should know how that feels. He can emphasize with him, since he comes from a fairly large family, and he grew up being taught to be very family orientated. He knew how much it hurt to loose someone that you love and are close to. 

"Maybe I could just talk to him about it?" Lance had suggested to Hunk. Though maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Keith is a very closed of person by nature. He's impulsive, hot headed and introverted. Lance seems to think that he suffers from some sort of anxiety disorder or other mental illness. His older cousin was diagnosed with one of those when they were children, and had to be put on medication for it so that he could function like a normal person. Lance isn't sure exactly what's wrong with Keith, or if there anything that Lance could do to help him through what ever he's going through, or if there's even a way for them to treat it in space. But talking to Keith is better than just sitting there on his hands and doing nothing to help him at all. "It's better than nothing I suppose." Hunk told him. "So you think that I should do it?" Lance asked him nervously. Even though he knows that it's the right thing for him to do, Lance was still scared to confront Keith about last night. He didn't want to set Keith off again and end up making matter worse than what they already are. But he had to do something about this, and he had to man up and fix this before it started to effect the team dynamics. 

Once,

Once, he finished talking with Hunk, Lance went into the dinning room and sat down next to Keith in his usual place at the table. He glanced at him out of the corner of his eye to watch him carefully as Hunk brought out the food that he had prepared that morning for breakfast. Lance also glanced around the table to see who all was there this morning. He was happy to report to himself that everyone was present, including Pidge, even though she was asleep at the table until Hunk sat down her plate in front of her and it startled her out of her sleep. During breakfast, Hunk and Coran were the only people out of the whole group who were talking the whole time. To be even more specific, they were the only ones who talked at all during breakfast. Pidge fell asleep in her breakfast multilpe times, and had to be woken up repeatidly throughout the meal .After the second time that they had to wake her up, they just let her sleep, since they all knew that she probably wasn't sleeping at all at night. Allura, just sat there quietly and ate her food in silence. And when she was done with her meal, she spent the rest of the time on her table, fiddling around with something that Lance couldn't tell you about even if he knew what it was. While Lance sat there and watched the people around them to check and see if they were ok or not. And then there was Keith, who just sat there with a glazed look in his eyes the whole time. Lance wasn't a hundred percent sure rather or not that Keith even ate at all that morning. He's pretty sure that he just sat there until he wanted to leave and didn't touch any of his food at all. Lance was about 79% sure that him, Hunk, and Coran were the only ones who actually ate their breakfast fully. 

When breakfast was over, Hunk had carried Pidge back to her room to sleep, once they got everything cleaned up after breakfast. Nobody minded about that one bit. They knew that Pidge was staying up late at night, running every program that she has on her computer and all the ones that she had made up as they have gone through space trying to find her father, Matt, and Shiro. She was running herself into the ground by doing this, since she was burning the candle at both ends. She wasn't sleeping, barely eating, and 9 times out of 10 if you tried to talk to her she'd bite you head off. After the kitchen was cleaned and Pidge was back in her room, everyone else in the Castle had scattered throughout the ship for the whole afternoon. Lance knew that Hunk went to Yellow's Hangar after he put Pidge to bed, so that he could do some upgrades on his lion. Coran was headed down to the engine room to check the boilers, or the turbines, maybe. Lance wasn't sure what it was that he was going down there to check on, but he knew that he was going to check on something in there. Allura had disappeared off to somewhere in the Castle that wasn't where Lance was at the time. And for once, he didn't really care to know where Allura was. And it didn't take a genius to figure out where Keith had gone off to after breakfast. Whenever Keith is conscience and able to move and sometimes when he isn't he goes to the training deck to blow off steam. For Lance this seemed like a good time to go and talk to Keith about the night before. So Lance had decided then and there that he was going to confront him and figure out what was going on. At least he could keep on eye on him that way. 

Lance was able to catch up with Keith on his way to the training deck. And the two of them had walked down to the training room in silence. Which was sort of out of the ordinary for Keith and Lance. Normally the two would be at each other's throats at this time. They would be arguing, bickering, or doing something to get on each other's nerves to start a fight with the other. Though this time, that wasn't the case at all, they just didn't talk to each other and kept to themselves. It felt slightly foregin to Lance, because by this time on any other occassion he would be in the middle of egging Keith on to the point that he would have blown up at him, and that would have ended in a fight by now. Though this time Lance us being the bigger person in this situation, or a bigger person than he normally was in these situations. He wants to help Keith even though they don't really get along that well at all. Lance guessed that they're sort of on a truce- an unspoken one at that- at the moment in time. Maybe this time though things will work out in everyone's favor at the end, Lance thought to himself. 

Upon entering the training room, Keith went one way to train by himself, and Lance went the other way so that he could keep up his disguise that he was training also, but in reality he was watching Keith as he trained. Keith went strait to sparring with the gladiators and his blade like ususal. While Lance grabbed his bayard and went to the targets for shooting practice. For the longest time, neither one of them spoke to each other, never said anything at all. Keith was in his own little world while training, it was like no one else exisited. Lance would glance over from time to time to make sure that Keith hadn't lost a limb, or done any sort of damage to himself. In general speaking, they just trained, and trained, and then they trained some more. During this whole time period Lance had always managed to keep his eyes on Keith for at least 5 minutes at a time, then look away for a bit, as not to raise suspicion to Keith that he was watching him. Even if Keith had caught on to what he was doing, Lance was pretty sure that he was just ignoring him the whole time that they had been there. And it was starting to get to Lance, just a little bit. He hates it when he is ignored, it drives him crazy! And he was never one to handle being in complete silence well. 

"Hmm........Hey man,.....how's it going?" Lance asked as he cleared his throat. He had walked up to Keith, when it seemed like he was taking a break with his training, trying to get him to talk to him. At first Keith just flat out ignored him, Lance wasn't going to lie about any of that. It didn't piss Lance off as much as he thought that it would have. Regardless, in that time Lance just stood there watchin Keith as he went back to his training. All that Lance could think about was how graceful and elegant Keith is when he trains. He's so majestic when he's ripping apart gladiator robots, if that's even possible. Lance knew that Keith is always in his element when he's training. Lance never realized how good looking Keith is when he's covered in sweat, and his chest is heaving, working overtime to supply his body with oxygen to keep him alive. He's hot, and fierce and... and.. Ok, that thought train ends there and should be derailed entirely and be shoved off the tracks and over a cliff right now. Keith is his friend, sort of and the thoughts that he is having right now are not ones that he should be thinking about him like that at all. 

Lance was so caught up in his thoughts about Keith that he didn't realize that Keith had stopped training to look at him curiously. When Lance had finally came back to himself and the real world, he was face to face and chest to chest with an indifferent Keith. Well, technically face to face, more like face to chin, since Lance is about 6ft-6'1, and Keith is a solid 5'9. So, there's just a little bit of a height difference between the two boys. And lance knew for a fact that Keith hated every inch that he had over him. It probably didn't help that Lance likes to tease him about his height a lot. "What do you want?" Keith said horasely. Even though the bluntness was a total Keith thing to do, Lance could tell that he had been crying earlier from how gravely his voice sounded. It was fairly obvious that Keith was feeling down and was not acting like himself. And Lance felt sort of bad at how helpless Keith sounded in that moment. "Nothing?" Lance said. From the look he got, he could tell that Keith didn't believe him one bit. "You want something." Keith said to him. Lance could tell from the tone of his voice that Keith was loosing patience with him. "Ok." Lance admitted. "I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to hang out me or something." He told him. "It's not like I was standing here waiting for you to be caught off guard so that I can off you or something." Keith just stared blankly at him for a few minutes, his chest still heaving from his work out. "Fine." He mumbled at first. If Lance wasn't standing as close to him as he was he wouldn't have heard him. "What was that ?" He said to be annoying. Keith looked at him and then he shouted, "I said fine, I'll hang out with you !" Then stormed out of the room. Well, at least he got Keith to talk to him and give him a verbal response, instead of sucker punching him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the font sizes changed, I finished it on another site and it changed it and I don't know how to fix it yet.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been awhile, things have been crazy on my end. I'm going to be focusing on this story solely for a little bit before I go on to my other projects. And I can't remember if I've said this before, but I think I have, I do not own any of the characters that I write stories about unless I specificly say anything about it. All characters belong to their rightful owners, and I just come up with the ideas. Thank you.  
-N.

Not that long after Keith had stormed out of the common room during his conversation with him and Lance had he realized what an idiot he had been. He was so stupid, he was so, so, so, stupid for letting Lance see him like that. He never should have let Lance see him in such a vulnerable state, once let alone twice! God he was such a moron, he never should have let his guard down like that. Now Lance has seen a part of him that he has never shown to anymore except his father and Shiro. And he had intended that no one would ever see him in such a state, never again, not what happened after the last time he thought that he could let somebody get close to him. He won’t go through that again, if he had to do that Keith really thinks that he would end up killing himself for it. And now to top it all off Lance was a witness to all of it. So now he had plenty of new materials that he could use to tease and taunt him mercilessly and hold over his head just to get a rise out of Keith and a laugh for himself. To make matters worse on himself was the fact that Lance never would have even found out about any of it if Keith had not had been stupid enough to let his guard down and go out of his bedroom that first night. The only reason that he had ventured out of his room during the Castle’s night cycle that night was because he had been suffering from nightmares for the past months. Sleeping and him hadn’t had been the best of friends for the past couple of months. Half the time Keith couldn’t sleep because of his insomnia was running rampant, and when he could sleep he was plagued with nightmares. And this particular nightmare had been extremely gruesome and felt very real. When it was over Keith had woken up in a cold sweat, with his heart hammering so hard in his chest that he thought that it might burst out, his ears were ringing so hard that he felt dizzy, and he was nauseous that he thought that he was going to puke .So he figured that he left his room to go through a walk that he might be able to calm down his nerves enough so that he could at least salvage a few hours of sleep. Normally when he couldn’t sleep he would go to the training room and train himself into exhaustion. But this time around his body and his mind were both so tired that he could hardly function. He knew that if he had gone down to train that he would have hurt himself there and there would be nobody awake to come help him. So once he had calmed himself down Keith thought that a walk would be the right thing to do help calm himself down and relieve some of the stress he was feeling. He figured that he might as well do something useful since he couldn’t sleep. And it probably helped that it seemed like something that Shiro would have told him to do. 

Though Keith hadn’t expected to run into Lance in the little secret hideaway that he had found and thought that he was the only one who knew about it. And he certainly hadn’t expected to have on of his flashbacks in front of him either. At this point Keith couldn’t even really remember what this particular one was about to be honest. All that he could clearly remember about that one was that feeling of pure and utter fear, and panic that just seemed to flow rapidly through his veins. And how his anxiety levels had just seemed to spike higher than he ever thought was possible, when he had realized that there was someone else in the room with him and he was no longer alone and able to suffer in peace. Keith had felt his lungs plummet into his stomach when his fear idled brain had pieced together enough to let him realize that the person in the room with him was none other than Lance. And that one single thought alone was enough to send Keith over the edge. And over the edge he did went. 

After Keith was able to calm himself down after his first encounter with Lance, he had felt so embarrassed and so guilty. He felt embarrassed at the fact that he had ruined the reputation that he hah held up among the team. Keith knew that he had a reputation for being a hothead and that there was this some sort of image that people had of him whenever they thought about him. And especially the one that Lance had of him since he declared them “rivals.” He knew that most likely the vision that Lance had of him painted him as an all around pompous, and cocky, hothead asshole who thought that he was better than everyone else. So for him to look and act, and to be so vulnerable around someone, that someone being Lance was unheard of. And not to mention that it was so out of character for him that it was downright terrifying to think of. And yes, he did in fact realize that he had probably scared and traumatized Lance during both of their encounters more than Keith was by them, but the amount of embarrassment that he felt overid that feeling completely. Then there was the guilt that he felt for almost killing Lance the first time he saw him in an attack. He was lucky that he was able to snap himself out of his spoke out state that he stopped himself from hurting Lance. He felt so bad about that, yes he knew that Lance hate his guts, and wanted nothing to do with him most of the time unless he wanted to make fun of and poke at Keith, but Keith himself didn’t actually hate him. Even though the thinks that Lance can be annoying sometimes, but Keith liked Lance. He liked Lance more than anybody realizes. And yes, again he knows that it is a bad idea to fall in love with and gain a crush on someone who repeatedly tells you that they hate your guts. Keith sighed to himself as he ran his fingers through his hair. Once he got back to his room and locked the door he flopped down on his back on his bed. It was then that it really hit him that he needed Shiro here with him to help him deal with his problems. Keith didn’t know what he was supposed to do about this. It was hard for Keith to organize his own thoughts into something coherent when he was so exhausted from the lack of sleep he was he getting. Though that’s sort of self-explanatory since he’s pretty sure that he hasn’t slept at all since Shiro’s been missing after their last battle with Zarkon, and that’s been months ago. He would doze off periodically throughout the day sometimes, but it was never for long periods of time. He couldn’t sleep, and when he was able to barely grasp it, he was often plagued with nightmares that kept him up all night. 

Locking himself up in his room had given him time to think, probably too much time to think when it came to the grand scheme of things. And with his own insomnia acting up frequently in the past little bit he has even more time to think. Being alone with his thoughts was always something that he found always dangerous for him. Keith wasn’t a one who was very open with his emotions, and good at communicating his feelings to others around him. That was why he blows up a lot of the time, because he can’t communicate what he wants and then gets frustrated with himself and the situation that he had been put in. So to put it bluntly, emotional stuff isn’t Keith strong suit and can be classified as something more of a weakness, and that makes it hard for him to deal with it. As he thinks about this Keith takes off his gloves and runs his fingers along the scars that cover his wrists. He just stared as them for a while and then it suddenly dawned on him that he hadn’t felt this low in a while now. The last time that he felt like this was 3 years ago when he had just came out to Shiro and Adam at the Garrison. Yes, he knew that coming out to two men who he already knew weren’t strait and were in a relationship with each other wasn’t really something to worry about. But Keith still did because he was still scared to death of their reaction to him. He can still remember being so nervous that he had thrown up on Adam after he had come out. Shiro thought it was hilarious, Adam not so much. During this trip down memory lane, the itch that was underneath Keith’s skin was burning to be scratched at. Keith tried to rein in his self-control, but the urge to do something about that was to strong to resist anymore. And to make his struggle even worse he could hear Shiro’s voice in the back of his head telling him not to do it. Telling him that he’s stronger than the desire, that he got through it once and he can do it again. And that he promised him that he wouldn’t do it ever again once they got him clean. And Keith cried to himself as he took his knife out of its holster and sild it across his wrist while he broke his promise that he had made to his brother. 

It was a couple of hours later when it happened. After Keith had cleaned up all of the blood on his skin and blade and out both his gloves and jacket back on and layed down on his bed and just stared at his bedroom ceiling. A million thoughts were all running through his head, and they were all going so fast that they were making him dizzy. One of the biggest things that he was feeling was the guilt at what he had just done. He had been clean for 3 years now, with some help from both Shiro and Adam. And in a matter of no more than 10 minutes he had thrown all of that away and broke the promise that he had made to his brother that he wouldn’t do it again. Even when Shiro had went missing for a whole year for the first time Keith had kept his promise. He didn’t falter, he didn’t crack under the pressure, and he kept his word. Maybe the reason that he didn’t break was because he always knew that Shiro was out there somewhere and he would come back to him. This time though Keith doesn’t have that feeling anymore. Now he’s just hoping that they can find any remnant of Shiro that they could, and regardless of what had happened to him they get his body back. At least then he could get some closure and bury, the last of what family that he has left in the world. It’s then that Keith decided to move on to thinking about other things. 

Keith was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice that there was somebody outside his door until he heard a loud ‘Bang!’ It was so loud that it startled him out of his thoughts, he jumped up and grabbed his Marmora blade, ready to attack whoever it was at the door. Though he stilled his actions of walking to the door when he heard a voice on the other side. He was halfway to the door when Lance spoke to him. “Keith? You in there man? It’s me Lance.” He felt conflicted about what he was supposed to do at that moment. Keith knew that he had two options to choose from at the moment about how he can handle the situation. The first one was that he could always go and open the door, confront Lance and face his problems head on, thus getting rid of most of them. Or, the second option was that he could pretend that he wasn’t here and just ignore Lance until he went away. The big shocker to everyone here is that Keith had chosen the second option. Well, at least that’s what he tried to do. When Keith tried to move back to his bed, he got hit with a sudden dizzy spell that sent him toppling to the floor with a loud thud. He winced to himself on impact and hoped that Lance hadn’t heard it. Though all of his hopes that he hadn’t heard where dashed when he heard the lock on his door be overridden and opened. And there at the doorway stood Lance. 

The scene that Keith was currently in was kind of almost comical to think about. Here he was sprawled out all over the floor, in what can be deemed a very compromisable and vulnerable position for him. And then there’s Lance who just standing like a statue in the doorway, looking gobsmacked and a little lost. If this was any other type of situation then Keith would have laughed his ass off at how stupid Lance looked at that moment. Though being in the current situation himself at the present Keith was more inclined to disappear into the nearest hole available so that he could curl up in a ball and die. For what felt like hours to Keith and probably to Lance also, but in reality was only about 15 minutes, they just stared at each other like they were strangers who just met for the first time. The two boys could have passed off as statues, they were so stone like. And they stayed like that until Lance cleared his throat loudly breaking the tense silence between the two of them. “Uh….. Here, let me help you off of the ground.” Lance said as he moved across the room to help Keith up. It was then that Keith seemed to come back fully to his senses. “No, no, uh.. I got it.” Keith told him as he popped himself up to his feet. 

Once Keith was back to a standing position and Lance was farther into the room than he was before, the atmosphere between the two of them was just plain awkward and slightly tense. Neither knew what to do with themselves or the other in the room given this situation that they were currently in. So, the two boys just stood across from each other in the middle of Keith’s bedroom actively trying to avoid eye contact with each other. After a few minutes of doing this Keith couldn’t take it anymore. “Look, Lance whatever it is that you’re here for just say it and get out ok.” Keith bit out at him as he moved to go sit back on his bed. Looking back over his shoulder as he sat down on his bed at Lance, he could clearly see that his outburst hadn’t scared Lance off in the slightest. He just bent down and picked up his blade that he had dropped when he went down, and stood back up and headed back over to his bed. He stopped in front of Keith and handed him back his Marmora Blade. He then motioned for him to scoot over to allow Lance to sit down next to him on the bed. Keith took his knife from him and rolled his eyes at Lance as he moved over so that he could sit down on the bed next to him. Once Lance had sat down on the bed Keith felt himself stiffen up some. He was never good at or comfortable with human contact. His social anxiety had always made it difficult when he had tried to interact with other people and made it hard for him to deal with it. People made him nervous, and he always felt nauseous when he had to talk to someone new for the very first time. 

Sitting on the bed with Lance next to him was seriously messing with his anxiety levels. It was getting harder for him to breathe normally all of a sudden. It was like all of the air in the room was getting sucked out of the room, and the walls were trying to close in on themselves around him. And Lance’s presence wasn’t helping to soothe his shot nerves at all. In fact it was making everything that Keith was feeling, and all of the symptoms that he was experiencing 10 times worse. Keith was so lost in his thoughts that he wasn’t paying any attention to his surroundings, so it was safe to assume that it was justifiable when he flinched when he felt Lance grab his hand. “Hey, hey, Keith, it’s ok dude…. You just gotta grab my hand and squeeze if you can hear me ok?” Lance told him in a whispered voice. Keith, for once did as he was told, and squeezed Lance’s hand in a death grip. “Ok, now I know that physical contact tends to help most people when they’re going through stuff like this, and it helps to ground people back to the real world. Now that we’ve gotten that taken care of and squared away we can move on to the next thing, squeeze if you’re listening.” Keith squeezed his hand harder. “Ok, now I want you to count and follow my breathing ok Keith, just listen to my voice and follow my breathing, can you do that for me man?” Lance asked him in a calm and caring voice. Keith squeezed his hand. “Ok, here we go, breathe in for 4, hold for 8, and out for 7 got it?” Lance asked him. Again Keith squeezed his hand as a sign that he understood. Lance took that as the go ahead to begin. 

After what felt like hours to Keith he finally felt like he was able to breathe easier. Once him and Lance were done with the breathing exercises he just slumped over to rest his head on part of his bed frame, but he still has a tight hold on Lance’s hand in a semi-deathgrip. He was avoiding looking at Lance out of embarrassment and the fear of Lance’s teasing. Though Keith waited and waited and waited and nothing seemed to happen. It got to the point that he couldn’t take the silence anymore and brought his head up to look at Lance. He was met with Lance’s ocean blue eyes staring back at him. Keith felt a blush rise up to his cheeks and turned away again really quick in embarrassment. He then huffed when his bangs had fallen into his eyes in the process. Keith finally was able to let go of Lance’s hand when he realized that his own palms were beginning to sweat profoundly through his gloves. He was starting to close himself off again, at least that Lance could tell. He was so hoping that Keith wouldn’t do this to him, what had just happened between them was something intimate and vulnerable they shared with each other. And Lance was so amazed with himself that he was able to break through one of the many walls that Keith has built up around himself over the years. He’s come to far now for him to stop now. 

Listening to Keith’s breaths even out, Lance would almost assume that he was asleep if it weren’t for the fact that his hands were still shaking slightly. And he knew that Keith was probably in no condition to talk at the moment. So, Lance just let him sit there in silence for a little bit, giving him time to recollect his thoughts and organize them back again after his panic attack. Lance was content to just let him be until he was ready to talk. And that was how they stayed until Keith decided to speak up first. 

“What did you come here for Lance?” Keith asked him in a hoarse voice. He sounded terrible in Lance’s opinion. Keith didn’t sound like Keith, he sounded desperate, done, vulnerable and broken. It was a total juxtaposition from his normal behaviors. “I just wanted to come over here and make sure that you were ok.” Lance said softly. “You haven’t been acting like yourself lately and I was worried, then those 2 times that you freaked out on me and tried to kill me, I wanted to figure out what’s going on with you.” Lance admitted to him. “Look, I know that you and I don’t always get along that well and are able to see eye to eye but, I’m here for you man if you want to talk. Please, man I’m begging you, talk to me Keith.” 

Keith sighed to himself as and brought his hands up to rub at his face. He knew that he should listen to Lance and open up to him and talk about what was going on with him. And like Lance said he was really ready to listen. But there was still that little part of him in the back of his mind that was telling him to run away and to hide like a child. Finally Keith just gave up and figured that he might as well go ahead and get this over with now instead of later. He took a deep breath and let it all out through his nose. He looked up at Lance and he could see the fear and hesitation in those indigo orbs. And the nerves that were shaking out in his hands. Keith’s whole posture basically screamed uncomfortable in big red letters. But he knew that Lance had him in a corner and there was no way out of this. He sighed before he said, “Where did you want me to start?”


	4. Chapter 3

“Where do you want me to start?” Keith asked him. Lance sat there for a few moments, completely and utterly shocked. He didn’t think that it would be this easy to get Keith to open up to him and discuss what has been bothering him for the past couple of months. Lance had just assumed that Keith would have put up more of a fight to talk than he did. Lance had thought that the process of trying to get Keith to talk to him would have involved more screaming, yelling and fighting. He thought that this conversation would end up in some sort of brawl. It hasn’t happened yet, but the conversation isn’t over yet. This fact was very unnerving to Lance that he didn’t have to do that much to get Keith to talk to him. Something wasn’t right here. And it kinda scared Lance, just a little bit. 

After a few moments of careful consideration, Lance was finally able to tell Keith what his answer was. “I guess that I want you to start wherever you feel most comfortable at,” Lance said as he looked Keith in the eyes. He then moved to wrap an arm around Keith’s shoulder to provide some comfort for him. He had failed to notice the slight blush that dusted Keith’s cheeks and if he did, then he didn’t bother to mention it. It took a few moments before Keith was able to work up the courage to start talking again. He let out a deep breath as he focused his gaze to look back down towards the ground and on his feet. He never realized exactly how dirty his boots were until they were that he could focus his attention on without freaking out. He felt nervous about spilling all of his deepest and darkest secrets to Lance. The only person who has ever known about Keith’s life before Voltron and before the Garrison was Shiro, and now he’s gone so… Anyway, all of his life Keith has never really been one to talk about himself and he’s never really been able to be open with other people. He’s always just kept everything to himself and that’s how he’s always done it and that is what he prefers to do. 

“Huh…..” Keith shuddered as he rubbed his hands together. He didn’t know what had happened but it seemed like the temperature had just dropped low all of a sudden. And to add on top of all of his other problems, Keith hates the cold. Maybe it’s a side effect of living in a desert for pretty much all of your life, but the point is that it doesn’t take that much for Keith to get cold. He shivered once more and then looked back at Lance who just seemed to be sitting there waiting patiently on him to continue. “I guess that I should start with my childhood right?” Keith said after he cleared his throat. “I mean that’s where most people start when they’re talking about what’s bothering them right?” Keith questioned Lance. Keith was completely lost at what to do at the moment. He’s never done anything like this, no one except Shiro and the occasional social worker had ever asked him to talk about his feelings. Lance shook his head in approval like he knew what he was talking about and motioned for Keith to continue. “Uh... Well, I guess that I should start with my parents first.” Keith said with a little bit of uncertainty laced in his voice. “M-my Mom left not that long after I was born. My Dad didn’t like to talk about her that much, and I had learned not to ask about it, so we never really talked about her much, if at all.” Keith stated. And that was where Keith had left off about his Mother. What little information that he was able to get on her when he was younger wasn’t all that much. He had gotten used to the fact fairly quickly that he didn’t have a mother. Though he had always wondered what had happened to her. It wasn’t until he came to space that he realized why things never made any sense when it came to his mother. With her being Garla and all it kind of was a no brainer as to why she had left. It still hurt though. “Then there’s my Dad he- he,.....he uh…” Keith just kept getting more choked up the more that he tried to talk about his dad. His father was also another very, very sore spot for him in his past among many, many other things that had occurred. 

Lance had seen that he was struggling and had squeezed his arm tighter around Keith’s shoulder. And he could tell that by how stiff the other boy’s body language is that he was very stiff and uncomfortable about this conversation. It didn’t take a genius to see that Keith was barely keeping it together as it was, and it would probably only get worse as time went on. “Hey, Keith man it’s ok, just chill out some ok?” Lanc told him. “You don’t have to say anything that you don’t want to ok?” Lance said as he tried to soothe his nerves some. “I-I know that I need to be more open with not only you, but the rest of the team too, but I just can’t get the words out to tell you.” Keith confessed as he shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself. “Are you cold Keith?” Lance asked as he turned his head to get a better look at him. Keith didn’t say anything but Lance could tell that by the way that he was holding himself and shivering that he was probably just a little bit cold at the very least. Keith jumped up in surprise when he felt something being draped over his shoulders. He was even more shocked that it was Lance’s jacket that was wrapped around his shoulders. 

“Why did you give me your jacket?” Was actually what Lance had expected Keith to say to him as a response. That was the most typical Keith-like reaction that most people who know him can predict happening. He had figured out that Keith would be all weird and skeptical about being given his jacket, which he seldom takes off. And yes it was very rare, even during the training that they did without their armor on that he ever took it off. Lance had gotten that jacket for his last birthday that he had before they went up into space. Lance’s mother had bought him the jacket and had mailed it to his older sister Veronica who was also at the Garrison, training to be an analyst to hide it from until his birthday arrived. He loved that thing because his mom gave it to him and it’s one of the only things that he has of her and the rest of his family with him in space. Even though the only person who knows this is Hunk, everyone else knows that Lance never takes the jacket off, he just doesn’t. Until now though, and somehow it doesn’t phase him at all that the first person he gave it to was Keith. He just simply told him that “I gave it to you because you looked cold.” Dark violet eyes stared back at him in shock. It kind of worried Lance a little bit that Keith thought that it would be so hard for him to be nice to him without having no strings attached. And looking back on it now, maybe Lance shouldn’t have taken their rivalry for as far and as long as he did. But that’s exactly what he did and now you can’t go back and change the past. You can only move on to what the future can hold for you. 

The two of them spent the next little bit sitting in awkward silence on Keith’s bed in his room. Neither one of them had said anything to each other for a while now. Keith had spent most of that time looking down at his feet on the floor, picking a loose thread that was coming off on one of his pant legs. And Lance spent his time watching what Keith was doing to avoid making eye contact or any type of conversation with him. Even though Lance himself had thought that what he was doing at the moment was a little bit creepy, there was just something about Keith that him not be able to look away from him at all. He had never realized before exactly how attractive Keith was appearance-wise. With his pale skin, shaggy long black hair that gleamed and shined in the light, and those deep violet eyes of his. He looked beautiful like that, especially when he gets shy around new people that he hasn’t met before, right before he tries to take them out. He kind of reminds Lance of one of those male-lead vampires from those trashy teen romance movies that Veronica was obsessed with when they were children. 

Lance was so busy looking at Keith at that moment that he wasn’t paying any attention to what Keith himself was doing. It wasn’t until he saw those vibrant indigo orbs looking at him in questions that snapped him out of his haze. He inwardly cringed at himself at the fact that Keith had caught him staring at him. “Uh, hi…” He said, and then winced at how his voice had cracked in the middle of it. He had hoped that Keith didn’t come to think that he was a weirdo and stalker because of it. Though he never did say anything about it though, he just returned his gaze to the floor. It took a few more minutes before Keith cleared his throat and tried to talk again. 

“Umm…… Do you still want me to tell you?” Keith asked him in a low voice. “Cause what I’m about to tell you isn’t very pretty.” And Lance never thought that he would see the day that he would live to see the day that Keith Kogane had sounded so small when he talked. “Go on and tell me, Keith, we’re teammates, family, we have to be able to trust each other enough to be able to confide in one another about these things,” Lance told him, He paused for a good moment thinking over what he wanted to say next so that he wouldn’t freak Keith out. “You do trust me right?” Lance asked him. He had hoped that Keith couldn’t detect the nervousness in his tone. Keith nodded his head yes in agreement. Lance let out a long breath that he didn’t know that he had been holding. “Ok, are you sure about this though, this is your last chance to back out now?” Keith told him. “Yes, Keith I’m 1000% percent sure that I want to hear what you have to say to me,” Lance told him in a clipped tone, with a stern look on his face. Keith just looked up at him for a moment. There was something in his eyes, but Lance just couldn’t figure it out exactly what it was. 

“I guess that I should start with my Dad since he was the only family that I had ever known before Shiro came along,” Keith told him. “My Dad was the best and I’m not just saying this because I’m his and son and I’m biased. I’m saying it because it’s true.” Lance chuckled at that comment. He could relate to that feeling. Almost every little boy always thinks that their Dad is the best Dad in the whole wide world and that was the end of it. “He was a firefighter, he had made it to being one of the Captains at the station when I was 11.” Keith had explained to him. “Everyone looked up to him because he had reached such a high rank and at such a young age also, he was a real-life hero…..” Lance had gotten a little worried when Keith had just started to trail off mid-sentence of the conversation. He was about ready to go and ask him if he was alright when he head Keith let out a choked sob. Lance reacted quickly, his reflexes going into overdrive, and wrapped Keith up safely in his arms. He also made a mental note for later on that Keith was skinny. Hugging him like this Lance had noticed that he seemed skinnier than he was before. Worried, he stored that bit of information away for later and would go to ask him about it later. 

“It’s ok Keith,” Lance whispered into his ear. “It’s not ok Lance!” Keith screamed. There came in the yelling match that they were missing from their normal conversations. “It’s not OK! My Dad was a hero, he was a nice person and he died like he meant nothing.” Lance was taken aback by his friend's outburst. He was also shocked to find out that one of his friend’s father was killed in a fire. “He burnt to death in that building like a caged animal, all because the owner was too lazy to keep it up to code.” From his tone, Lance could tell that Keith was still very hurt by the circumstances of his father’s tragic death and it affected him deeply. And Lance himself would probably be that much of a mess, if not more if their positions were switched. Though that doesn’t make it hurt any less for Keith though, he’s Dad’s still dead. “I’m so sorry Keith.” Was all that Lance was able to get out of his mouth. And he knows that it probably didn’t mean much if anything at all to Keith since he’s probably heard it all before at least a 100 times. But it was the only thing that he had, and Lance wanted to tell him something to try and make him feel better. 

Keith just sat there and looked at him for no more than a second, before it was like the entire dam had burst open. Lance flinched a little on impact when Keith had full out launched himself across the bed and into his chest. Lance was even more shocked when he had started full-on sobbing into his shirt. Once Lance had gotten over his shock, he wrapped his arms around Keith and he held him tight. He wasn’t quite sure how long that they were in that position for but Lance found that he didn’t mind it that much. All that he could think about was how he just wanted Keith to be happy.   


The two of them just sat there for a while before Keith had cried himself to sleep. Lance was a bit surprised that Keith was able to let his guard down enough for him to fall asleep on Lance like that. Well, it was more like he had fallen asleep in Lance’s arms like they did this all the time. And you better believe that Lance was glad that they were currently alone in the room now. He could just picture in his mind about what Pidge would do to them if she caught them like this. More so for his sake than Lance’s since Pidge always messed with him and Hunk, but it was extremely hard for her to get anything on Keith to use against him since he’s so quiet. And the part about being all anti-social doesn’t help him at all. It used to bug Pidge that he was so closed off before she got over it and moved on to tormenting Shiro before he disappeared. Keith’s closed off personality used to irritate Lance a lot too. Though over time he’s come to accept the fact that it’s just how Keith is and he couldn’t change that. He was just happy to have Keith asleep in his arms at the moment and have the ability to watch him sleep. Lance couldn’t pinpoint it but there was just something about Keith that drew him in. It was like a moth being drawn to a flame, the attraction pull was that strong. And he was really glad that Keith was getting the rest that he needed. Oh, if only if Lance knew what he was getting himself into. 


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was quiet, very quiet, a little bit too quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the first out of the next three chapters, enjoy!   
-N.

Chapter 4    
It was quiet, very quiet, a little bit too quiet if you asked Hunk. Though that might be because he was currently alone in the common area of the Castle. He was very used to all of the hustle and bustle that normally occured in the Castle. Well that was the normal that he had gotten used to. After Shiro,... vanished everyone had adapted to a new normal. Hunk knows that the sudden and unexplainable disappearance of their beloved leader Shiro had hit everyone on Team Voltron hard. After Shiro went missing after that last one in with Zarkon, things changed drastically around here. And being the very empathic person that he is, it didn’t take Hunk long to notice all of the changes both subtle and not that had happened almost overnight. 

For starters there was Pidge. She was still as her fun loving, smart as a tack, tech guru self. But Hunk could see the differences. Pidge was one of the ones who changed more sutlely than the others did. Yes, she was very upset when Shiro vanished and she still is. Though Hunk has noticed that she had begun to isolate herself from the rest of the inhabitants on the Castle. She was more reserved than she used to be when they first came to space and that is saying something since they couldn’t really get her to talk to them at all in the beginning. Hunk hates seeing her do this to herself. Pidge now spends every waking moment locked up in her lab in Green’s hangar tinkering around with something. No one really knows what it is, and she won’t tell. He knows what she’s spending all of her time doing though. She’s in there trying to find a way to locate Shiro and her father and older brother Matt. This is the second time that Shiro has vanished on her and the rest of her family is still missing. He knew that she was having a hard time dealing with all of this. Hunk wishes that she would just open up to him or anyone really. He just wants her to take care of herself and sleep, like he knows that she hasn’t been doing this last little bit. He loves that girl like a little sister and it would break his heart if something ever happened to her. 

Moving on to the next member of the crew that he is worried about is Coran. The old Altean was still his usual eccentric and extravagant, and cheerful self. Though whenever Hunk sees him smile now, which is rare, he can see that it doesn’t reach his eyes anymore like they used to. Even though they haven’t known Coran and Allura very long, Hunk knows that Coran views all of the Paladins as his own family like he does Allura. All five of them were considered to be his niece and nephews along with Allura. The Yellow Paladin knows that Coran is having just as a hard if even harder time with the disappearance. He saw Shiro as a nephew or even a son-like figure. And from previous knowledge, Hunk knows that it is a devastating blow to a parent to lose a child when they were fairly young, just like Shiro and the fact that you are still alive when they die. All that Coran does now is sputter around the Castle “fixing” things that he deemed needed to be fixed. It was more like Coran was going around the Castle saying that things needed to be repaired to give him an excuse to be moving around and productive. He was just trying to do anything and everything to keep himself busy. Though to be honest, all of them Hunk was the least worried about him. Coran seemed to be handling all of this fairly well. He was dealing with the loss of Shiro. And from what Hunk could gather from the talks that the two of them have had over the past little bit, he was doing ok. At least Hunk could get him to talk about it, unlike everyone else when he tried with them and they just brushed him off. 

Though Coran might be handling everything ok, that wasn’t the case for everyone. Allura was a very hard person to read. The young Altean Princess seems to be a master of putting on a facade for everyone to see while she is suffering on the inside. In all of the time that they have been in space he and Allura had never “clicked.” Now, don’t misunderstand what he was trying to say. He actually really likes Allura. She is a very intelligent, graceful, diplomatic beautiful and quite intimidating woman if you asked him. But the two of them just never went together like him and Lance did when they met back at the Garrison, or anyone else for that matter. It wasn’t what Hunk would consider a bad thing though. He still loved and respected her like he would any of his over friends. There was just a little bit more of distance between the two of them, unlike the others. They weren’t as bad as her and Keith though. A little distance never stopped Hunk though. Hunk knew that out of all of them, Allura was probably closest to Shiro. Afterall the two of them had spent a good bit of their time out in space planning out attacks and other strategies to help win the war. And there was nothing wrong with that. Allura could hang out with whoever she wanted to. And that just makes Shiro’s disappearance that much harder for her to handle. Hunk knew that Shiro’s disappearance was somewhat similar to the death of her father. From what little that Hunk knew about King Alfor’s death was that he had put Allura and Coran in the healing pods to protect them from Zarkon and his army. So basically he was here one minute and gone the next, which is exactly what happened with Shiro. And he could tell that all of the stress from the disappearance of Shiro and the Coalition, Zarkon, and now Lotor was taking its toll on the princess. She seemed colder, less welcoming than what she normally projects on tobotuers. And Hunk didn’t fail to notice that she seemed paler and that there were dark bags underneath her eyes. It was easier to annoy her and have her temper flare up. She was beginning to turn into a female version of Keith. It was a little bit concerning if you asked Hunk. The few times that Hunk had gone to Allura to see if she was alright, she had brushed him off and said that she had more important matters to attend to. Hunk eventually gave up on her after a while. 

Speaking of Keith, he was one of the ones that Hunk was very, if not the most concerned about. Hunk and everyone else knew that while Allura may have been close to Shiro, their relationship whatever it was(He knew that Shiro had a male fiance at one point back at the Garrison.), it was nothing compared to what he and Keith had. And Hunk knew what the two of them had was completely platonic. Shiro saw Keith as a little brother, and Keith saw Shiro as an older brother or parental figure to him. So Hunk could only imagine how completely and utterly devastated Keith is about Shiro’s disappearance. And it didn’t take a rocket scientist to be able to tell that Keith wasn’t handling this well at all. Besides the fact that he either spent every waking hour training or out in Red trying to hunt down Shiro for hours on end, which wasn’t healthy at all. Hunk had also noticed a large change in his personality. Keith was acting more timid and reserved than Hunk had ever seen him before. And Hunk never thought that the words “Keith” and “timid” would ever fit together in the same sentence. Along with the fact that Keith was acting more subdued and muted than he ever thought was capalable he just seemed different than before. Hunk was used to the hot-headed and ill-tempered Keith who would go off on anyone that even remotely pissed him off and how it would happen frequently. He was used to how Keith would disregard all orders and go out on a limb with his own plans during missions. Keith always trusted his gut feeling, and went with what he thought was the right thing to do if he thought it was right. But now it’s like the Keith that he knew had seemed to vanish when Shiro did. Keith didn’t really talk, though even though he’s a hothead he didn’t really talk a whole lot to begin with. From what he could conclude from Keith’s previous behavior, Hunk could tell that he was very shy and showed symptoms of social anxiety. 

In all of the time that he had known Keith, he had never been pegged as a people person. He’s always kept to himself, even back at the Garrison where Hunk was pretty sure that the only person that he talked to was Shiro. He never really interacted with anyone unless he was forced to. And if you tried to push him into a conversation he would just blow up. Though all of that behavior was beginning to undo itself before Shiro went missing, again. And all of that change and progress that Keith had made over the period of time that they had been in space was now completely forgotten. And now Keith was more reclusive and isolated than Pidge was at the moment, and that was saying something. When someone did see Keith around, he was like some sort of ghost of his former self. He always looked down at the ground. His eyes always remained in a downcast position with a distance, far off look in them. His skin was paler than normal and he just seemed depressed. Hunk was very positive that Keith was depressed and in a very poor mental health state. He was really concerned and worried about him. 

The other person that he was really worried about was his best friend Lance. Lance’s normal attitude towards things was very laid back. Now don’t be mistaken Lance can be serious when the situation calls for it. Though at the moment he is acting very serious. A little bit too serious if you asked Hunk. He has always been used to Lance's jokes, horrible puns, even worse flirting, and bubbly personality. This new, calmer, more stoic and serious Lance was a tad bit too unnerving. There was nothing wrong with the way that he was acting at all, for anyone other than Lance. It sent alarm bells going off in Hunk’s head. He’s never seen Lance act like this before. And out of all of them Lance was one of the only ones who had opened up to him. He told Hunk how worried he was about how everyone else was doing. And Hunk had noticed how he had taken a special interest in Keith. The Red Paladin has always had some sort of a strong hold over Lance. Regardless of whether Keith knew this or not he’s always been able to get into Lance’s head and wedge himself underneath his skin. Hunk has always suspected that this infatuation with him and their heated “rivalry”, had more to do with the fact that Lance has a huge crush on Keith. Hunk’s not stupid, he has always figured that this huge obession that Lance has had with Keith ever since they were mere children in the Garrison had more to it than just being rivals. He’s pretty sure that Lance had used the excuse of being rivals so that he could be close to Keith. Or the fact that he thought that it would make it seem less obvious that he was in love with him. Though he could never get Lance to admit it all of the times that he had pushed. 

Another thing that Lance had confessed to Hunk about was how strange Keith had been acting lately. He had told Hunk about the weird encounter that he had with him the other night in the common room And yes, it did seem a little bit odd even for Keith. From what Lance had described to him sounded like Keith was either sleepwalking or he was delusional. And Hunk could tell that Lance was very concerned about his fellow paladin’s mental state. Especially with the fact that Keith had just gotten chosen by Black to be the pilot for them. They needed a leader for this team and they would all prefer that he was sane and in the right mind frame to be able to command them out in the battlefield Hunk had no problem with Lance helping. Hunk himself was also very worried about their new Black Paladin. He liked Keith, as a person and as a friend even though Keith is very stand-offish with all of them. He just wanted his friend, both of his friends to be alright in the end. He just hoped that Lance didn’t get too invested in this and end up with his heart getting broken, yet again. He’d seen it happen to him one to many times at this point and he knew that it was taking its toll on Lance. 

All that Hunk really wanted was for this war to be over. He was sick and tired of the fighting and the violence. He wanted to go home and be with his family. And he knows that these thoughts are selfish ones, but he doesn’t really care. He knows that he’s not the only one of them to want to go home, to be with their families and to live a normal life. Still his statement stands though. When the war is finally over Hunk had this grand scheme of his. His plan was to head straight over to the Balmera and take Shay and the rest of her family back home to Earth with him. From there they would all live happily ever after with his family on Earth, where they would all be safe. And if it was up to him know, Hunk would hop in Yellow and go straight over there get them and leave. He was done with all of this. 

Was this a far fetched dream? Yes, yes it was. Did Hunk really care about what anyone else had to say about it? No, no he did not. He also knew that there was a good chance that this will probably end up with him dead once the war finally ends, if it ever ends. But this gave him something sweet to dream about at night. Thinking about Shay and the life that they could have with their two families on Earth. This gave him one more thing to hope for when he got up in the morning. And Hunk knows that he complains the most about being in space, he’s not going to deny any of that. But one thing that makes all of this worth it,, is the fact that by doing his job he’s keeping all of his friends, and family and Shay safe from any harm that the Garla could possibly bring to them. And from there he just hopes for the best. Since that’s all they really have at this point. 


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance's thoughts on Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter, and I'm almost done with fixing the next chapter, it should be out later tonight.   
-N

Chapter 5 

After Keith’s little breakdown, he just crashed. To be even more specific he fell asleep against Lance. And it was a sight that Lance will forever have ingrained in his memory. Keith’s ebony locks were all squished and messed around him in some sort of messy halo on Lance’s shoulder. It contrasted perfectly with his skin that it made it look like he was glowing in the light of the bedroom. He didn’t have the heart to wake him up, he looked so cute. So he just gently moved Keith to where he was lying down in bed. Lance stayed there on the edge of the bed for a while just watching him sleep. And yes, he knows that it’s a little bit creepy and a tad bit stalkerish But since no one else was around who was conscious at the time, so he didn’t really care. So what if he has a teeny tiny, itzy bitzy crush on Keith. It’s a free universe for the most part, or at least it is where they currently are. The whole point of it is that he can like whoever he wants to ok. 

Lance was about 13 years old when he came out to his family as bisexual. He was a complete nervous wreck, and he was so terrified that he thought that he was going to puke. Though the reason that he was scared was different than the reason that other people are scared to come out to their families. Even though Lance comes from a very traditional Cuban Catholic family, they’re pretty open minded about things. Especailly things like different sexualitiyes. It all started with his Abuela immigrating over to the U.S. from Cuba. Lance was told the whole story about it when he was a child. His Abuela had fled Cuba when she was only 16 years old with her older brother Vincent. His Tio Abuelo Vincent is gay and he was publically outed during a Church gathering in Cuba. Even though the rest of the world for the most part was very open minded and very accepting of things like this, Cuba was still just a little bit behind on things. Vincent had become an outcast, and eventually a social pariah amongst the people in their hometown. And he was excluded from pretty much everything. It had gotten to the point that he couldn’t take it anymore and he left. His Abuela, who loves her older brother so much and the fact that they are very close even until this day, decided to leave with him. 

It was very hard for the two of them those first couple of years that they were in the U.S. Though before he left Vincent had gotten himself a job working on the docks in Miami, Fl. His Abuela had gotten a job waiting tables at the local dinner and she was going to school at night to finish her high school education. And they bounced around between places to live until they had enough money to buy a tiny little trailer in a dinky trailer park on the outskirts of town. When she finally got her GED, she went to community college to become a beautician. She graduated 1st in her class. During her college years she had met and married his Abuelo Edwardo. His Abuelo was also from Cuba and he and his family had moved to Florida from Havana when he was 6 years old. And not long after they got married, his Abuela became pregnant with his father’s older sister, his Tia Melissa. She actually graduated college when she was 5 months along with her. And Uncle Vincent ended up marrying one of his Abuelo’s best friends Max. He was of German and Irish descent and they have been together ever since. 

So his whole family expecting him or not wasn’t the big issue here. The whole problem was that the year before his older sister Veronica had come out to their family as a lesbian. His whole issue was that he had thought that his family wouldn’t believe him because of this. Lance had thought that they would have told him that he was confused because of Veronica and should take more time to think about and make sure that he was right. But Lance knew, and he had known for a while now that he was bisexual and he wanted to tell his family. He had known ever since he had a very weird and slightly errotic dream about one of his older brother Luis’s friends. This was killing him and he wanted his family to know. Why you may ask? The answer is pretty simple, they were his family and they all deserved to know the truth about him. Though he was able to fix his problems with the help of his Tio Abuelo Vincent and his older sister Veronica. Then no that long after that was when he was introduced to the one and only Keith Kogane that next school year at the Garrison. 

Ok, so Lance has basically been in love with Keith since they were 13 years old. And yes he did create that stupid rivarly that everyone on the Castle hated just to get Keith to notice him. And in all kind of backfired in his face. Instead of making him take notice and fall in love with him; Keith did notice him sure, but instead of falling love with him, he ended up hating him in the end. So Lance had tried a different approach. He began flirting with anyone and anything that had two legs and looked remotely human-ish that caught his interest. From Allura to Nyma, to many other diplomats from the planets in the Coalition he has met. If he couldn’t get Keith the old fashioned way by wooing him off his feet, then he would just make him jealous. Which was kind of easier said than done. Keith always ended up agitated with him every time he caught him flirting with someone. Though the fact that he was upset was because he was jealous or the fact that he was just annoyed and thought that Lance was immature he didn’t know. 

Anyway, his crush on Keith wasn’t the sole reason that he was spending a lot of his time thinking about Keith. He was genuinely worried about the other teenager. He had been observing Keith from a distance like he normally does. (He’s not a stalker, he’s just highly observant and very worried.) He saw the bags under Keith’s eyes and how they just kept getting bigger and bigger. He notices how his reflexes are slower and his attacks in training are slower and more dull. He knew that Keith was dealing with the emotional turmoil that came with losing Shiro a second time. And he could sympathize, and somewhat emphasize with him on the matter, coming from a large family himself. When his Abuelo was killed by a drunk driver when he was 14, it was like his whole world ended. He was pissed at the whole world and didn’t really care what anyone else thought about it. His Abuelo was a good and honest working man. He never did anything wrong and didn’t deserve to die alone like he did. 

Getting back on topic here, Lance didn’t want Keith to overwork himself so much that his body just shuts down. He knows that Keith is hoping that Shiro is still out there somewhere, alive, alone and possibly hurt who knows where and who knows what condition. Lance is also fully aware that this is the only thing that is keeping Keith going. He is also aware that at this point, since they haven’t heard anything from Shiro himself or any news that he’s alive from another some other source could only mean one thing. More likely than not Shiro is gone and he is never coming back because he’s dead. He knows that when Keith either realizes or finds out about that he’ll be crushed. Lance can already picture the meltdown that will ensure, It won’t end pretty either way. And he’s not 100% sure whether anyone can put back all the pieces in the aftermath. 

Part of the reason that Lance is so worried about Keith is that he’s terrified that Keith will end up doing something stupid, Did he think that Keith was capable of harming himself or doing something way worse? There was a good possibility of it. He knows that Keith is a good person. Keith, even though he has trouble expressing his feelings and showing that he cares deeply about everyone on the Team is a good person. And he genuinely feels more than most people can realize. Lance knows that Keith is trying his best to be the leader that his team needed. But Keith can only be a great leader if he had the Team that he needs behind him to support him. And so far they have all fallen quite below what is required of them to help Keith out. And Allura wasn’t helping matters at all. 

Ever since they made the discovery that Keith was part Garla. Allura has made Keith’s life a living Hell. Lance never thought that the Princess could ever be as racist as she was being with Keith now. It shocked everyone greatly, and that was when Lance realized that nobody was as perfect as they seem to be. Years of hatred directed at the Garla and what all they did not only to her people, but her family as well. All of this had soured her opinion of the Garlan race greatly. It wasn’t an excuse for any of her behavior this past little bit at all. And Lance certainly wasn’t giving her an out for the way that she was treating Keith, and it didn’t make it right either. But Lance could understand where she was coming from somewhat. Though out of the two of them Keith and him are more similar. Lance was used to being picked on by other kids for his race and accent when he was little, so he can relate. 

Though Keith was trying his best to put up a front for everyone, his mask was beginning to crack. Lance, on more than one occasion had mentioned to Hunk about his worries for the raven haired teen. He felt marginally better after talking to Hunk about his troubles. Hunk has always been a good listener. He has always seemed to know just the right thing to say in any situation. He’s gotten Lance through more than crisis in their whole entire friendship. He’s very grateful for having Hunk as his best friend. He loves Hunk like he is a brother to him. Both of their families have practically adopted each other anyway. Might as well make it official. 

But still, Lance just can’t get his mind off of Keith. Turning his attention back to the sleeping teen behind him. At the moment he seemed to be peacefully asleep. ‘Good!’ Lance thought to himself. Keith deserved to have at least one decent night’s sleep. All of the stress with Shiro, Allura, Lotor, Voltron and the rest of the war was taking its toll on him. He was pretty sure that he wasn’t sleeping at night, and hadn’t been for a long time. He could also make a food guess that he wasn’t eating at all either since he hasn’t shown up for any meals in weeks. He could tell that Keith had lost a lot of weight. And it wasn’t doing his health any good either. 

  
  



	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A whole lot of Keith whump, I apologize in advance.

Chapter 6 

All that he could see was black and nothingness. Everywhere Keith looked there was just black. He had no idea where he was or how he got there. The last thing that he could remember before now was being in his room with Lance. Wait a minute… “Lance!” He had no idea where Lance was now or if he was alright. He couldn’t really see his surroundings that well, so it was hard to tell where he was and make things out in the dark. Keith knew that Lance was with him before he blacked out. He was beginning to panic a little bit at the fact that he couldn’t find him anywhere, no matter how hard he looked. Keith knew that even though Lance wasn’t particularly fond of him and that the two of them don’t normally get along well, he wouldn’t just ditch him. Lance was just too nice to do a thing like that. And Keith himself couldn’t ditch him either, he just couldn’t, he had to find him. 

  
  


Wherever Keith was there seemed to be no concept of time. He had absolutely no idea how long he had been here already. It could have been hours, days, weeks, months, maybe even years. Though Keith would never admit it, he was starting to get scared for his life. And what was driving Keith insane was that he didn’t know who was behind this. He had come to the conclusion that whoever had taken him and put him here also had Lance with them at this very moment. Keith’s thoughts were running a million miles a minute, if not even faster. He was really starting to freak out now. 

Every bad scenario possible that he could think of was going through his head. And all of them ended with the out come of Lance getting hurt, or something even worse, Keith’s stomach was just rolling at the mere thought of it. He really needed to find Lance and get the two of them out of there and back to the others. But where were the others? Were they ok? Were they injured? Were they harmed? If Keith was losing his mind before , he definitely was now. One of the thoughts that was constantly running through his head was how horrible a leader he was. 

Keith was no Shiro, that much was obvious from the start of all of this mess. Shiro was honorable, noble and so put together. He always knew what to do and what to say to diffuse a situation. Shiro always had everything under control. He had a good thing on his shoulders and a heart at least triple the size of his body. Keith on the other hand, was his complete opposite. Shiro was all valor, and he was a known hero back on Earth. Keith, well Keith was Keith, and he was a screw up, big time. He was brash, harsh, and stand-offish. He’s hot headed and is very prone to act first and think about things later, at some point. He somehow always manages to put his fist in his mouth when he speaks. He can never say the right thing, And when he tires, it always makes the situation worse. He was drowning in stress and extra responsibility and had no life raft, or anything to hold on to. 

The darkness was everywhere. It was starting to make him feel claustrophobic. He was beginning to feel like the walls were closing in on him. It reminded him of one of the foster homes that he stayed in. The parents used to lock him up in the hall closet for hours on end as punishment. During this, Keith did what he normally did the best in these types of situations. He ran. Though this time it seemed like the more that he ran, the worse it made things to be. And he was beginning to feel light headed all of a sudden. He had to stop when his legs finally gave out on him. It was at this moment that Keith had come to terms with the fact that he was more than likely going to die here. He was going to die a failure and a major screw up. Just like he’s been told of his life that he was going to be. 

Right when it was starting to feel like his lungs were trying to rip themselves from his chest, he started to hear things. Thinking that he was losing his mind and getting ready to die anyway, he didn’t really pay it that much attention at first. Of course all that it was, was a bunch of white noise. He couldn’t even make out what it was at first. After a while though it was more than just mind numbing buzzing going through his head. It was a voice. At first he didn’t really recognize it. But the more that the person talked, the more familiar it was to him. It then dawned on Keith that it was Lance’s voice that he was hearing. “Keith! Keith!” He heard Lance yell. Keith tried to do anything to make some kind of noise to get Lance’s attention to tell him where he is. Though all of the breath had been stolen from his body. All that he was capable of doing was gasping for breath. He knew that Lance was still talking but he couldn’t understand anything anymore. Just as he was closing his eyes, Keith felt the whole place start to shake. The choppy motion was doing his upset stomach no favors. He felt like throwing up when all of a sudden this bright white light came out of nowhere and into his line of vision, blinding him. Then it all went black. 

  
  


When Keith came to the next time, it was rough. When he opened his eyes, his vision swam and his stomach rolled then flipped. He tried to move to somewhere he could vomit, so he wouldn't choke to death on his own vomit. But his body was so out of whack that all he could do was roll over and hope for the best. He threw up as soon as his body made contact with the floor. And it wasn’t soft contact at all. He was able to push himself up onto his arms so he was less likely to choke on his puke. 

Keith felt like he was in the process of dying. He’s pretty sure that he has never felt so bad in his entire life. And that included that one time he ate an entire gallon jug of ice cream. Though it didn’t really help that Keith hated puke and vomiting in general. He was a big time sympathy puker. That was the reason that every time Hunk got sick he had to either leave the room or mute his comm line. He knew that he would end up getting just as sick if not sicker than Hunk if he didn’t distance himself from the situation. And his hatred for vomiting is also another reason that he has avoided all things alcohol and dairy products like the plague. He knew that if you get drunk enough you would puke your guts out. And Keith was also lactose intolerant, so that made everything at least 10 times worse. Anything dairy that he had consumed would do straight through him and he’d spend all night puking at the very least. 

Keith flinched violently when he felt something touch his back. Though he was a little bit too preoccupied to care at the moment, let alone do anything about it. “Hey, hey, it’s ok just, breath Keith. You’ve got to breathe man, just ride it out and it’ll pass.” Lance said. Ohh, it was Lance. At least he had fina;;y found where he went. They must have been put back in the same room after he passed out. That was good, sort of. At least he knew where Lance was now. 

Keith shakily reached out his hand and grabbed at Lance’s wrist on his free hand. His grip wasn’t as tight as it could have been, but it was tight enough for Lance to get the message. “Ssh……, Hey Keith it’s ok buddy.” Lance told him as he continued to rub his back. “Calm down man it was just a dream, you’re safe.” Lance whispered into his hair. Keith shook his head and his heart rate picked up in speed just a bit. No, this couldn't have all been just a dream. It felt all too real to be a dream. There was really something wrong here. 

Things were finally starting to calm down when Keith had started dry heaving. Lance held him against his chest, with his arms wrapped loosely around his waist.He had made it very easy for Keith to get out of his hold at any time he wanted. After awhile he just gave up and melted into Lance. He was tired and exhausted and felt gross as can be. But he couldn’t go to sleep yet. He had to figure out what was going on and if everyone was ok or not. He just had to. But he was struggling to keep his eyes open. His mind was very cloudy and muddled. He was having trouble trying to get his brain and mouth to cooperate with each other enough to talk. And Lance was so warm, and the calming patterns that Lance was tracing on the skin of his arms was very soothing. Before he knew it, Keith had ended up falling asleep in Lance’s arms. And it ended up being the best sleep that he has had in a very, very long time. 


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I know that I said that I would work on SEVENTEEN first before I started this again. but I just started writing and here we are! Enjoy!   
-N.

Chapter 7 

The next time Keith woke up, he felt marginally better than he had the first time. He felt floaty and light, it was awesome. His mind was so muddled that it took a while for all of the pure and raw panic that he had felt earlier to return at full force. Keith shot up out of the bed and started to flumble with the covers of the bed to try and free himself from them. In the process of this, he didn’t notice that the door to the room that he was in had opened until he heard a voice. “Keith! Take it easy man, calm down.” Lance said as he came over to the bed to try and calm down his friend. He was finally able to get him to stop flailing about when he realized that it was Lance who was in the room with him. “Lance.” He gasped out with a sob and lunged at him. Lance was absolutely sure that there was a look of shock on his face. Keith wasn’t a very touchy feely person. He didn’t even like shaking hands with people, let alone hug them. So this was a very, very new thing. “Yeah, yeah I’m here Keith, it’s alright, everything’s ok.” Lance told him. Keith just sobbed into his shirt. 

When Keith finally felt emotionally stable enough to speak he pulled away from Lance’s chest to get a good look at him. “Are you ok? Are you hurt? Where are the others, are they ok?” Keith asked frantically. The look of question on Lance’s face wasn’t doing him any favors either. What if he didn’t know where everyone else went? What if he had been brainwashed and this was all a trap just to get the lions? He needed to find the others now. “Keith, Keith, hey look at me don’t space out man, what are you talking about?” Lance asked him. And Keith really had to keep himself from biting Lance’s head off at that very moment. He couldn’t believe how stupid he was being! “What do you mean what am I talking about?” Keith said. “What I mean is where are the others?! We’ve been captured and we have to find them!” Keith shouted. At this point he was beyond fuming and he couldn’t believe that Lance was being so calm about this. He had to get out of here and get to the rest of his team. 

When Lance noticed that Keith was trying to get up again, he grabbed him by his shoulders and pushed back down onto the bed. “Woah, slow down there man, what are you talking about?” Lance asked him. “Who got captured, we certainly haven’t, nothing has happened around here that’s even remotely that interesting in weeks!” Lance told him. Keith sat there and looked at him for a moment. “So, we aren’t in danger? Everyone’s ok?” Keith asked him. And he sounded so small that it was breaking Lance’s heart. Lance shook his head. “Everyone’s alright, whatever it was that you saw or what you thought you saw was a nightmare.” Lance told him. Keith closed his eyes and leaned back against the bed. It was then that he realized that these sheets have a different feel to them than his own. It dawned on him that this wasn’t his room. His eyes snapped open and they started searching around the room. He realized that he was in Lance’s room. With all of the pictures of his family and friends and their adventures in space. 

“Why am I in your room?” Keith asked him. The last thing that he remembers was that the two of them were in his bedroom talking. Lance figured that he would ask that eventually, but it took him longer than he thought it would take. “Well, you probably don’t remember it but we were in your room first.” Keith nodded his head at that, he did remember it. “But you fell asleep on me, and not that long after you started tossing and turning violently, I had stayed since I didn’t want to wake you because I know that you haven’t been sleeping, but anyway all of a sudden you just rolled out of bed and onto the floor and just starting vomiting.” That he did not remember, but that probably explained why he felt like he was currently dying at the moment, he hated vomiting. “It looked like something of a horror movie, when you finally stopped I got you cleaned up enough to drag you in here to my room so you could sleep and I could go back in your room to clean.” Lance told him. “I just finished cleaning your room up, now we just have to let it air out a little bit more, but I honestly thought that you would sleep longer than this.” 

Keith was shocked at this. No one ever since his dad and Shiro had ever cared enough about him to do something nice like that for him. It made Keith’s stomach flutter, though he didn’t know if that was because of the nausea or the fact that he was kind of secretly in love with Lance. Ever since he had laid eyes on the Cuban when he first met him in the Garrison he was a goner. Though for the longest time he didn’t know his name, and he was too shy, and scared to go up to him and ask. So he just kept everything to himself and just watched what happened from afar. He always thought that Lance would never return his feelings, and had accepted that fact long before he got the boot from the Garrison when Shiro vanished. And his thoughts were recemented when they got to space and all that Lance seemed to want to do with him was start a fight. So he just gave up and resigned himself to dying old and alone, and locked up his feelings for him so that he wouldn’t have to deal with it. Though that didn’t last long when they first encountered the Garla. 

When Sendak and his men had invaded the Castle when they were still docked on Arus, the can of worms was reopened. He really thought that not only was he going to lose his brother again, he was going to lose Lance as well. Seeing Lance so beat up, and cradling him in his arms, it was more than just any platonic bonding moment. The whole time that Lance had ended up spending in the pods Keith felt like he couldn’t breathe. He ended up having one of the worst panic attacks that he had in years. Shiro, who he himself had just come out of his own pod at the time (He was injured, nowhere near as bad as Lance but Keith made him go in anyway to be on the safe side) was able to calm him down fairly quick. But that still didn’t make the heaviness in his chest go away until Lance finally emerged from the pod almost a week later. And his heart got stomped on all over again when Lance had said that he didn’t remember their quote, unquote “bonding moment” and even wrote him off whenever he tried to bring it up to him. And from then on, he just decided to keep his distance from Lance and just let himself be Lance while he would be Keith, nothing more, nothing less. It was killing him inside. 

But now, as he was sitting here on Lance’s bed, listening as Lance was explaining something t+nice that he did for him, it took his breath away, just a little bit. “You did all of that for me?” Keith asked him. Lance paused for a moment and nodded his head in agreement. “Thank you.” Keith whispered. “Hey, it was no problem man, I did because we’re friends.” And also because of the fact that Lance was in love with Keith, and Keith was hopelessly in with Lance went unmentioned for both parties. But, whatever, if they confessed now then it would kind of mess up with the plot of this wouldn’t it? Well anyway, don’t worry about that now. 

The two of them sat on Lance’s bed in an awkward silence for a while. Both of them were guilty of trying to sneak glances at the other and move their gaze to something else in the room whenever they got caught staring. The tension in the room between them was so thick that you could probably cut it with a knife. It was a wonder that the two of them didn’t realize what it was and do something about it. But both of them were too scared to make any sort of move since they were afraid about how the other one would react. 

Thankfully, Lance ended up being the one to break the silence between the two of them. Though what he had to say was definitely something that Keith didn’t want to talk about. “So,... um.. Keith I have a question for you..” Lance said. Keith looked up at him, and Lance could have sworn that his eyes were shimmering in the light. “What is it?” Keith asked him. Lance took a good few minutes to prepare himself to ask something that seems very personal to Keith, and to be ready when Keith flipped out and started to drop kick him all over the room. “OK, now, when I ask you this, you have to promise me that you won’t get mad and go off alright?” Lance asked him. He could see that Keith was taking a couple of minutes to ponder what he was saying and if he was going to agree to it. Surprisingly, Keith agreed fairly quickly, which kind of made Lance’s head spin just a bit. “Shoot.” Keith said when Lance hadn’t said anything. “UH,.. Alright then, why are there so many scars on your body, mainly your arms, wrist and thighs?” Lance asked him. And that was when all Hell broke loose, for the first time. 

Keith sat there completely stunned. Lance knew? Of course he knew, he said that he cleaned him up when he got sick. Keith looked down at the clothes that he was wearing and realized that they weren’t his, they were Lance’s. The thought that Lance had seen him without clothes on, made his stomach turn, and his heart started to beat faster. And there was probably a redness to his cheeks also. He was so embarrassed, and ashamed. He had broken one of his many promises that he had made to Shiro, and in trying to hide it he got caught. Keith lifted his gaze back up to where Lance was. He was still sitting there across from him on the bed, waiting. He really wanted Keith to come clean, and spill his guts about all of this so that he can probably make fun of him for it. Well, Keith won’t give him that satisfaction. He wouldn’t let Lance make fun of him for his issues anymore. 

“What are you talking about?” Keith asked him. He deicded to play dumb and to see how much he actually knew before he got mad. Lance didn’t seem to be impressed with him avoiding the question. “What am I talking about?” Lance asked him. Keith mutely nodded his head. “I’m talking about all of the scars that are littered across your body that I saw when I changed you out of your puke covered clothes.” Keith could tell that Lance was getting pissed at him. And that was when he realized that he didn’t want to be here and having this conversation with him. So he pushed back the covers and moved to stand up. “What are you doing?” Lance asked as he saw Keith try and get up. “I’m leaving.” Keith bit out. Lance scoffed. “Of course, as soon as you hear something that you don’t like or a topic that you don’t want to talk about you run away, typical Keith.” 

That really made Keith mad. He spun around to face Lance and the look that he gave him was deadly. “Look, you want to know the reason that I’m walking away so bad?” Keith asked him harshly. “Yes, I would like to know.” Lance answered him. “Fine, then I’ll tell you.” Keith gritted out. “I’m leaving because I know that if I stay any longer, I am going to completely break down, and I know that if I have it here in front of you then it’s going to be even worse than normal.” Keith confessed. “So excuse me for worrying about my own mental health for once.” Lance sat on the edge of his bed completely shocked. He honestly didn’t really think that Keith would tell him anything that personal. He just thought that Keith would get all prissy, storm out and leave. He didn’t expect this at all. 

The two of them just existed there in Lance’s room for a bit. Lance was sitting on his bed, while Keith was standing in the middle of the room looking very lost and out of place. Lance couldn’t take it anymore. Him and Keith were just starting to become friends, he couldn’t let this ruin them now. “Keith, come here, please.” Lance pleaded with him. He held out his hand showing that he meant no harm whatsoever. Keith stood there and looked at him for a moment. More than likely he was trying to gauge if Lance was telling him the truth or not. He took a chance though and reached out to grab Lance’s hand. This was a sign of good things to come in Lance’s book. But if only he knew how much more hardships that he would have to go through before he could get his happy ending. 


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Pidge bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm Back! Here's the first chapter of many more to come.   
-N.

Chapter 8

After the little talk that the two of them had Keith and Lance didn’t really talk to each other. They spent the next week avoiding each other as much as they could. The only time that the two of them talked to each other was during meals and group training. So needless to say that they haven’t been spending as much time with each other as they have been these past few weeks. And the other members of the Castleship have taken notice of this sudden turn of events. Even though most of them were still reeling from the loss of their beloved leader Shiro, they were also very concerned about their two friends. Everyone was hoping that they weren’t back to square one when they were fighting all of the time. That part of their relationship got old, very, very fast. And on more than one occasion Pidge had mentioned that if that were to happen, then she would start ‘bashing brains in’. Coran and Allura just looked at her in pure and utter horror. Luckily Hunk chose then to step in and explain that it was an Earthly expression and all that Pidge meant was that she would just go confront Keith and Lance and make them get along.

So far whenever someone tried to confront one of the two other paladins, they were met with great resistance to their efforts. Lance would just brush them all off, and play the situation like it was some big joke. He then would redirect the topic of conversation before retreating to his room. And then Keith, surprisingly, wasn't as hostile as they thought he would be. He was more quiet and timid than normal, and he just turned tail and ran to who knows where in the castle to avoid talking to anyone about it. Though to the rest of the people on board it was more terrifying to have a quiet Keith in situations like these than his normal self. Everyone was really concerned about the two of them. But they didn’t know how to go about that since they couldn’t get anyone to cooperate with them. It was a very frustrating experience and they had all had it up to their breaking point by now. But they just couldn't go and confront them and have it all end well.

Things only got more bizarre with Keith and Lance after Keith was appointed the next Black Paladin. Lance was so excited to become Black’s new pilot, he was bouncing up and down the walls for days when Allura had told them that they needed a new leader. The only one who didn’t want anything to do with it was Keith. And that was sort of understandable for a lot of them. Even though Keith and Shiro weren’t related by blood, he was still the closet thing that he had to a family. And that’s what Hunk said when he was the one who drew the short straw and had to explain all of this to Allura and Coran to keep Allura from tearing Keith a new one about the way that he was acting. Hunk had told them that he didn’t really know a whole lot about Keith in general or his past. All that he knew was that he was an orphan and that he had a lot of behavioral issues, along with being one of if not the best pilot in their generation back at the Garrison. And the only reason why he got into a lot of fights and acted like he was a prick in Lance’s opinion was that he got picked on a lot. Pidge didn’t know about it because she wasn’t there for that long and Keith wasn’t there when she was. And Lance could never believe that Keith couldn’t not get into a fight that he started. He never believed Hunk when he had told him that the reason that Keith got into so many fights with some of the other cadets was that they mocked, and bullied him for not having a family and being a ‘freak’ because of it. That made the two Alteans understand a bit more and it got Allura to back off just a little bit. Not a lot though.

But the day that Keith got picked by Black, Hunk honestly thought that Keith was going to pass out. The guy looked so pale, well paler than his normal complexion, and he was trembling. Hunk was pretty sure that he was one of the, if not the only one who noticed it. He knew that to Keith stepping into that lion and being accepted was like accepting the fact that Shiro was gone and that he wasn’t ever coming back. And he then had to deal with the fact that even though he had all of Team Voltron standing behind him, he had just lost the only family that he was truly comfortable with forever. And that broke Hunk’s own heart just a little bit. He felt bad for Keith, he himself didn’t know what it felt like to lose everything like that but he knew that it must have sucked for him a lot. And another thing that Hunk knew was stuff like that didn’t go away if ever.

So, things around the Castle were a little bit tense at the moment. After everything that happened and then playing musical chairs with the pilots, Lance now in Red and Allura joining them in Blue, they were trying to find their new team dynamic. Hunk and Pidge have tried everything to get everyone together with help from Coran. But nothing was really working with. Keith and Lance had gotten really good at avoiding each other and their friends when they were trying to fix everything. The other paladins and Coran were at their wit’s end. They didn’t know what to do anymore. Any plan that they had come up with had backfired in their faces, so for the time being that have given up until they can think of a better plan. And besides at the moment they have bigger things to worry about. Like for example Lotor, and how he was driving Keith insane. Keith, even though he’s very impulsive and is one of the worst hotheads that anyone on the Castle has ever seen, has good instincts. Majority of the time, if he tells you that something’s not right, or this person can’t be trusted, then 9/10 times he’s right. And they have all come to know and rely on him for it.

Though in Pidge’s opinion, the way Keith executes some of the ideas that go through his head, really needs some work. And she’s not digging on Keith in any way, he’s one of her closest friends and she views him as another older brother. But to face facts he just sort of does and leaves the thinking stuff for later if at all. And Pidge knows that he tried to control his impulses, she really does. Even though her and Keith didn’t really have a lot of contact with each other when both of their brothers were at the Garrison, Pidge knows a lot about him. And Keith knows a lot about her, surprisingly. When she had asked him how he knew so much about her he told her that, “You’re all Matt talked about whenever he would come hangout with Shiro besides robots and coding.” For some reason that made her chest feel tight, but she’s not exactly sure why though. Getting back on track here, Pidge knows that Keith’s mom had ditched him and his dad when he was a baby. No one knows why, not even Keith himself, though coming to space and finding out that he’s part Garla probably explained a lot. (Pidge’s opinion is that it would probably be very hard to explain why his mom was purple and fuzzy to friends as a child.) She also knows that his father Jack was a good man. He was a firefighter in one of the towns near the Garrison, and she knew that he died in a fire, trying to save someone’s life, and that left Keith all alone. From what Matt told her, Keith bounced around a lot from foster home to group home to anywhere that would take him, until Shiro took him under his wing. Pidge also knew that Keith was like 7 or 8 when his dad died and he bounced around for about 4-5 years before Shiro got his hands on him. And from the way that Matt talked, Keith had a horrible childhood, filled with abusives foster parents and guardians. She’s not 100% sure on this though, but when Matt told her that the first time that he met the younger boy when he patted him on the shoulder, Keith violently flinched and moved like lightning to get behind Shiro for safety.

His messed up upbringing could be a good explanation for how Keith behaves and acts out now. Besides the fact that she was a technology genius, Pidge was also good at reading people. She gets it from her mom who not only is into engineering like her father, (Which is why they got married) but she loves psychology. And yes, she’s very awkward with people herself, but she knows how to read them. And she’s been reading Keith ever since they got into space. From the information that she got from him, make her head spin. Keith has anxiety, now rather or not it’s social or just general anxiety she’s not sure. But she knows that he's a very shy and introverted person. Who isn’t comfortable around new people or large groups. And it wouldn’t surprise her in the slightest if he has some form of PTSD or something along the lines of it, with all of the trauma that he’s been through in his life. More likely than he probably has some form of depression also. Pidge does feel bad for him, she doesn’t pity him, she doesn’t pity people in general, that includes Keith, she feels bad because he has a hard time opening up to people for help. And Pidge is determined that she’s going to change that.

She had ducked out of a meeting with Hunk and Coran about maintenance on the Castle earlier in the day saying she had an experiment she had to tend to. And both of them had let her go in fear of whatever it was that she was working on would blow up if she didn’t go check on it. Instead of going back to her lab, or her room, she decided to go hunt for Keith. She knew of 3 places that he could be, the training deck, his room, or in one of the hangars. Pidge spent the next 15 minutes searching those areas for him, and she came up with nothing. Grumbling underneath her breath, Pidge decided to go and check one of the common rooms or the bridge for their missing paladin. And as luck would have it, Pidge found him in one of the common rooms that they frequented often before Shiro vanished. He seemed to be looking at something in his lap, though she couldn’t really see since his back was turned to her.Taking her chance to surprise him enough that she could use it to get him to talk to her, Pidge krept into the room. She was doing her best to be as silent and stealthy as possible, it’s what she used to do to Matt when she wanted to scare him when they were kids. So far Keith still seems to be unaware of her presence. And this was all going according to her plan.

“Hey ya Keithy, whatcha doing?!”Pidge said very loudly behind him. She had to whole back her cackles as Keith flinched and jumped up in the air in surprise. He dropped what looked like a data tablet on the couch and he went into the floor. His chest was heaving and he looked freaked out, and he was scanning the room for danger when he came across Pidge standing behind the couch grinning. “Pidge! What the Hell! You scared the crap out of me!” Keith yelled slightly breathless. Not letting her facade fall, Pidge still kept up a nonchalant attitude and walked around the couch to sit down in Keith’s seat. “Sorry dude, was just wandering around and happened to run into you.” Pidge told him in a bored tone. “I wanted to see what you were doing, and you didn’t answer me the first time I asked.” And yes, she knows that was a lie, but she was trying to deflect attention off of her, so Keith wouldn’t suspect he was her primary target to begin with. And it seemed like it was working so far.

Huffing, Keith pulled himself to his feet and to a standing position. He wasn’t full out glaring at Pidge, but he also didn’t seem that happy to be around her at the moment. The two of them just sort of looked at each other for a couple of ticks before Keith gave up and moved to sit down beside her. Though when he moved to grab the data pad that he was working with, Pidge had grabbed it from where he had thrown it earlier. “Pidge! Give that back!” Keith snapped at her. “I need that, Allura wants me to do research about the next planet we’re coming up on.” Pidge just stuck her tongue out at him in response. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard you ole new leader.” Pidge said. “I’m just curious about the planet and want to know what all you’ve found out before the debrief.” And she contorted to the other side of the couch and out of reach of Keith so he couldn’t strangle her. It was a good thing too since she was pretty sure he was at his breaking point for human interaction for the week. “It’s nothing important, if you want to know so bad go ask Allura, she has more information on it than I do.” Keith told her. And Pidge could tell that by the tone of his voice that he didn’t want her to open it. He was hiding something from her.

“Oh.. Did somebody find some space porn or something?” Pidge asked in a teasing voice. When she glanced over at the older boy, she could see that Keith’s face was blood red. Laughing to herself, she knew that what she was doing was kind of cruel, but she was having too much fun to stop. “No! It’s not porn, it’s just research, but I’m not supposed to show anyone yet.” Keith told her. And Pidge could smell his bullshit from a mile away. Yet right, and she was the queen of Russia. Moving off of the couch and to the doorway, Pidge was trying to keep herself out of Keith’s grasp so she could see what was oh so important that he didn’t want her to see it. By the time that she was able to get the datapad open they were out the door and about 5 minutes down the hallway. What she saw on it made her pause in her path. Keith stopped just a few feet away, and he had to catch himself on the wall to prevent him from falling onto Pidge they were so close. And even though she only caught a glance at his expression, she could tell that he was scared that she found out. She never thought that Keith could be scared before.

Turns out it wasn’t porn of any kind. It was a picture, a hand drawn picture on the tablet. Pidge wasn’t quite sure what it was supposed to be, but she knew that it was something abstract. It was good, heck it was extremely beautiful, and whoever drew it had a lot of talent. Then it dawned on her that Keith was the last person that she knew of to have it. She turned around to face Keith and saw him pale when she held up the device. “Keith?” She asked him softly, with a small smile on her face. “Did you draw this?” And if Keith took an eternity to respond, she didn’t comment on it. “I...I.. So what if I did draw it?” He asked as he crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive position. Pidge didn’t let that part phase her at all. “Well, I was going to compliment the artist on their talent for this.” Pidge told him. “To be honest I have no idea what it even is, but it looks very cool and I like it.” “You do?” Keith asked her. Pidge nodded her head, “Yeah, it’s great, I didn’t know you could draw.” She commented off-handedly. “I learned from my dad.” Bingo. “Shit.” Keith whispered. “I don’t why you’re being so secretive about this, I think it’s good.” Pidge told him. Keith just shrugged, and moved to sit on the floor.

Pidge leaned back against the wall and used it to slide down next to her friend. “I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned it before.” Keith said after some time. “I was scared I guess, drawing,.. It was something that my dad and I used to do a lot.” He told her. “And when.. When he died, I didn’t draw for a while, it just hurt too much to even try.” He glanced back over at Pidge and saw that the younger girl was staring at him attentively. “I started again about 2 months after I got into my first foster home when I was first diagnosed with anxiety.” Pidge just nodded her head in understanding and told him to go on. “The social worker took me to a therapist, and he told me that drawing would help me calm down, and prevent my panic attacks before they got really bad, and I’ve been drawing on and off ever since.” Keith told her. “It really helps you?” Pidge asked him. “I’m not asking to be rude or anything, I’m just curious.” She told him. Keith nodded in understanding and told her that it was fine. “Yeah, it does, that’s how I kept myself somewhat sane when Shiro went missing the first time.” Keith said. “It helps calm me down when I get stressed out or anxious. I normally just go off to somewhere quiet and draw until I feel normal again.”

The two of them sat there together in the hallway for an undetermined amount of time. They chatted on and off the whole time about everything and nothing at the same time. And even though she said that she knew a lot about Keith, sitting here talking with him, she realized how little she actually knew about him. Despite what many people at the Garrison said and thought, Keith wasn’t a bad guy. He’s nice and surprisingly gentle when you get him alone and just want to talk with him. He has issues just like the rest of us, but his are in larger amounts and severity. But that doesn’t change the fact that Keith is a good friend and that he would do anything and everything in his power to make sure that they stay safe. And she’s glad that he is one of her friends, or rather she is his friend. And she made a promise to make sure that nothing ever happened to him. It’s the very least that she could do for him, after all he risks his life on the daily to ensure her’s and the other’s safety.


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to move along now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I know another update the next day, I was shocked too, but I just started writing and the next thing I knew this chapter was done. I don't know when the next update is going to be, but I can tell you that the plot is moving along now, so this should get interesting. Have a nice day!   
-N.

Chapter 9 

Keith wasn’t lying to her when he said that he was doing research on the next planet that they were going to. Allura had planned for them to visit the planet called Mooie Juweeltje. It was a fairly large planet on the very edge of another solar system that they couldn’t remember after Coran had told them twice. A few days after her talk with Keith, Allura had pulled the whole team into the bridge to go over the debrief. And the reason that she wanted Keith to do so much research on the planet was that she wanted him to lead it. Normally, the debrief is done by either Shiro the leader or Allura, and since Shiro’s not here anymore, Keith gets to do it now. Keith didn’t have the nerve to tell the Altean Princess that he couldn’t do it because of his anxiety for two reasons. One, he was about 90% sure that she would just laugh in his face and tell him that he was being stupid. And the second one was that he was just too scared to talk to her about it. So he just decided to suck it up and go and do all of the research that he can on it. He spent pretty much day and night working on his briefing, if he wasn’t training, he was doing research on the new planet. He didn’t sleep for about a week, though he really hasn’t been sleeping that much anyway so it didn’t really phase him in the slightest. 

And now the day has come that he’s going to stand up in front of the whole team and tell them what they’re doing here. And Keith was pretty sure that he was going to puke in the middle of his speech if he had to go up there. When Keith was little, after his father had died, he was pulled by CPS to see a child psychologist. He was told that she was a nice lady, but Keith didn’t really trust her, she seemed too nice, too good to be true. But she diagnosed him with a mixture of social and general anxiety, along with some PTSD and some other stuff that he didn’t really pay that much attention to. No one could really blame him for it though, he just lost his father in a very traumatic event, and he was kind of numb at the time. He just didn’t really care what was done to him at the time, he just wanted to be left alone, and he wanted his dad, so bad that it hurt. And it still hurts to this day, but he’s learned to live with it somewhat. But getting back to the topic at hand though, his anxiety has always been a very big problem for him. Interacting with people and crowds were emotionally and sometimes physically draining. His heartbeat and pulse always sped up, and it was hard for him to breathe in the extreme cases.And doing things like public speaking just made everything way worse. The only things that Keith has found over the years to help ground himself and calm down was drawing and flying. He couldn’t do either of those today though. He couldn’t look weak in front of his team, especially Allura. 

  
  


He had arrived at the bridge about 45 minutes early so he could psych himself up for the challenge. So far, all that he’s been able to do is to freak himself out even more. It had gotten so bad that he started pacing around the room. He needed to move to do anything that would make him stop thinking that he was being held in some kind of cage. When the room started to spin around him, he was able to sit down in his little pod area on the bridge. He didn’t know when he put his head between his knees, but all of a sudden he found it hard to breathe. Keith was having trouble trying to calm himself down enough to face his team. Though he started to freak out even more when it dawned on him that anyone from the team could walk in at any time and see him like that. He was weak, useless, and pathetic. He had no place on the team and everyone else was just better off without him. He was on the verge of hyperventilating when he heard the door hiss open and someone walked into the room. “Keith?” A familiar voice spoke to him. 

Lance. Out of all of the people in this ship that could have walked in on him now, it just had to be Lance. Though Keith really didn’t want anyone to walk in on him, but he really didn’t want Lance to see him being,.. So weak. “Keith are you okay man?” Lance asked him softly. And it sounded like his voice was a lot closer to him than it was before a minute ago. Keith didn’t say anything at the time and just kept trying to get his breathing under control. He was so focused on it that at one point he had forgotten that Lance was even in the room with him. It wasn’t until Lance spoke up again that Keith remembered that he was even there. And he jumped when Lance’s voice registered to his ears. “Keith, is it ok if I touch you man? I promise that I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable.” Lance told him. “I just want to touch your knee, is that ok?” Keith wasn’t sure if he actually nodded his head or not, but he’s pretty sure that he did. He was comforted a bit when he felt Lance place a hand on his knee, he knew what he was doing. He was trying to find some way to ground Keith back to his senses. So far it made Keith feel more at ease and more on edge at the same time to have Lance in here with him. 

  
  


“Okay, we’re going to play a little game alright?” Lance told him. “Squeeze my hand if you understand me ok?” Keith took a few minutes but eventually he squeezed the Cuban’s hand. “Okay, you’re doing great man, now onto the game.” Lance said. “Tell me five things that you like.” Keith was very confused at that. He was supposed to do what now? “What?” He gasped out. What was Lance thinking of? “I said tell me five things that you like.” he repeated in a firmer voice than before. “Ok,... I,.. um .. I-I don’t know what I like…” Keith got out in between trying to control his breathing. “Just think of anything dude, just start talking.” Lance told him gently. “I, I like my Marmora Blade, um flying I guess… I-I lilke to d-d-raw-w too… um I like animals… “ He trailed off. Man he was really bad at this. He’s only gotten like three or four things so far and he didn’t know what to do. “That’s four, come on man you’re doing good, keep going.” Lance encouraged him. “Um, I guess I like training, does that count?” Keith asked him. And he was so preoccupied trying to do this that he forgot that he couldn’t breathe for a moment. Though he really wasn’t paying attention to any of it. “Good, that’s good Keith, now tell me four things that you can see.” Lance instructed him. Keith took a deep, shaky breath, and scanned his eyes around the room to look for stuff. “I-I see Allura’s station, um I can see a blanket draped over Pidge’s console, and um, there’s the-the stars outside, and um, you, I-I see you.” Keith stuttered out. Lance nodded his head, and used his free hand to rub his knee in a soothing pattern. “Oh, that’s good, that’s really good man, now three things that you can smell, or that you like the smell of.” Lance told him softly. Keith really had to rack his brain for that one. “Um, I-I like the smell of roses, and I can smell the cleaning solution that Coran uses to clean, and um I smell the lotion that you use.” Lance hummed in acknowledgement. He didn’t realize how much Keith paid attention to him before now. 

‘ Focus Lance, back on task here, you have to help Keith’ Lance’s mind scolded himself. “Ok, now tell me two things that you like the taste of.” Lance said. “Um, I-I don’t know, um chocolate I guess, and um I like the cookies that Hunk makes.” Keith rasped out. He was starting to notice that the longer they were doing this the easier it was for him to breathe. “Good, that good, now tell me one thing that you can feel or that you like the feel of” Lance said. “You, I um can feel your hand on my knee, and it feels nice.” Keith whispered out. And if he had a slightly red tinged to his cheeks then Lance either didn’t notice or didn’t comment on it. Finally, feeling like he can breathe without his lungs caving in, Keith moved to sit back up in his seat. He felt better, and way calmer than he did earlier and it was all thanks to Lance. He took a slightly shaky breath before he turned to look at Lance, and gave him what he hoped was a friendly smile. “Thanks Lance, I really appreciate what you just did for me,” Keith said to him in a hoarse voice. Lance just smiled at him in return and waved him off. “Na, don’t worry about it man, it was nothing, you’d do the same for me if the situations were reversed.” Lance told him nonchalantly. And Keith wasn’t in the best state of mind to tell him that he probably wouldn’t have been able to do what Lance just did for him so he kept his mouth shut. 

The two of them just sat there in silence for a couple of ticks before Lance broke the silence. “Soo, um I know that we aren’t on the best of speaking terms at the moment and feel free to knock my lights out if you get offended by this.” Lance told him. Keith just sat there and didn’t say anything so Lance guessed that he could go on and speak. “But, anyway, what had you so freaked out that you had a panic attack that bad?” He asked him. And when it was taking Keith a very long time to give him an answer, he figured that he had pissed Keith off, he answered him. “Allura, she wants me to give the debrief for the new planet we’re going to today.” Keith told him. Lance was partly shocked at that. Even though Keith has been the new Black Paladin for a couple of weeks now, he was still fairly new at it, and Allura is very particular about these things, so Lance is surprised that she wants him to do it. “Really, that’s cool man, maybe she’s finally coming around to you being the one in charge?” Lance suggested, hoping that it would like the raventte’s spirits. He’s pretty sure that it wasn’t working. Keith just snorted at that, “Yeah right, and I’m Madonna.” Keith bit out. And that got a God’s honest laugh out of Lance. In all of the time that he had known Keith, he’s never really been one for jokes or laughing in general. Keith’s always been one of the more subdued and stoic ones of Lance’s friends. So to hear him cracking a joke, whether he realizes that he did it or not, was priceless. “What?” Keith asked him, slightly annoyed when Lance was rolling around the floor. When Lance was finally able to bring himself up and stopped laughing long enough to talk to him he explained it for him. “Dude, you just told a joke and I thought it was funny.” Lance said. 

  
  


Keith just stared at him before shrugging and moved behind him to pick up his data pad. “What’s that?” Lance asked as he moved to get up off of the floor. His ass was going numb ok. “Just my report for Allura.” Keith said timidly. He seemed nervous and on edge again, and even though he loves Keith, he really does love the hothead:Though he’ll never be able to tell the other because he knows, well he assumes that Keith could never return his feelings, he couldn’t see him go through that all over again. He might need to have another talk with Allura after this. “Oh, really, how did it go?” Lance asked him. “I spent all week on it and I didn’t sleep because I spent so much time working on this.” Keith told him. “And it’s complete and utter crap.” Well, that wasn’t what Lance had expected him to say. Though then again, it’s Keith and he’s always been really hard on himself. “How do you know that man, you haven’t even given it yet?” Lance asked him. Keith gave him a half-hearted shrug in response. “I don’t know, probably because I’m not good with words, and I have social anxiety and I can’t get in front of any kind of crowds without panicking so hard that I can’t breathe and end up making a fool of myself.” Keith told him. And that was where Lance saw the problem. “Oh, so you’re nervous about this?” Lance asked him. And Keith just sort of glared at him. Lance moved both of his hands and placed them in front of him to show that he met no harm. “Hey, I’m not trying to be a wiseass or anything, I’m asking a question.” Keith sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Yes, I’m nervous, I’ve never been good with people and I know that Allura’s counting on me and I’m just so stressed out that I don’t know really what to do.” Keith confessed to him. 

“You’re going to do great Keith.” Lance told him with all of the honesty in his voice that he could muster out. “Yeah right, you’re just saying that.” Keith scoffed at him. And Lance really had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at the other boy. “No, I’m being serious.” Lance told him. And he chose to ignore the soft “Wow, I’m shocked.” that Keith muttered underneath his breath. “And do you know how I know this?” He waited a few minutes, but Keith never answered him, so he gave him a look. “Fine, how?” Keith asked. “Because it’s you dude.” Lance told him. “You’re hotheaded, impulsives and one of the most stubborn assholes that I have ever met in my life.” Lance told him with a smile. Keith raised an eyebrow at him in question. “And how does that help me?” Keith asked him. He really didn’t get where this was supposed to go. “It’s supposed to help you, by making you realize that you’re too stubborn to let something control you.” Lance explained to him. “You’ve dealt with attacks like this for a while right?” Keith nodded his head slowly. “Yes, I’ve had them since I was a kid.” Lance hummed in response. “And you’re still a paladin, you’re still a good leader even if you’re new at this, and when Shiro was here you were a good second in command.” “Where’s this supposed to be going Lance?” Keith asked him. “What I’m trying to say is that even though you’ve been dealing with whatever issues you have, you’ve never let them get in your way when it comes to helping people or getting things done that need to get done.” Lance told him. And there was this look in his eye that Keith couldn’t quite read. “And that’s how I know that you’ve got this.” Lance said as he placed a hand on his knee. 

  
  


“Thank you Lance.” Keith whispered. “It’s no problem man, I’m happy to help you,” Lance told him. “Um,.. about our last conversation….” Lance trailed off when they heard the door open. Both of them turned their heads to watch Allura walk into the room. She had her nose buried in her data pad so she didn’t notice them at first. And they took advantage of this and broke away from each other and made it look like they were just doing their own thing. When the young princess finally did look up, she was a bit taken back by what she saw. Keith was in his little pod area, with a data pad in hand, he seemed to be looking over his debrief. Allura had to hold back a smile, she would never admit this out loud, but she was really doubting that Keith could handle doing this. And it wasn’t because she didn’t believe him to be capable. But from what Hunk and Pidge had informed her about earlier, she wasn’t sure if his current mental state would allow him to do so. Allura wasn’t very well accustomed with Earth illnesses and medical conditions. But from the information that she’s gathered, she thought that it wouldn’t hurt to see how severe Keith’s case was. Even though her and the new Black Paladin haven’t been extremely close and they’ve only drifted apart more when she reacted badly to the news that he was part Garla, she trusts Keith with her life. And she knows that with even guidance and training Keith would be a fantastic leader. They just have to get to that point first. And she found Lance sitting up against the wall across from Keith where he was playing with a fidget spinner, is what Hunk told her that they were called. Lance was another one that Allura has come to admire somewhat. Even though Allura knows that Lance misses his family terribly, he still somehow manages to flourish. He’s matured a lot in the time that they have all known each other. And she couldn’t have been even more happy when Red had chosen Lance as the new second, even if she wanted to pilot her father’s lion. And she’s even happier that he’s there for Keith. 

  
  


And much to her own surprise, the two of them just seemed to be in the same room with each other, and they didn’t seem that bothered by the other’s presence. These past few weeks, those two have been doing anything and everything in their power to avoid the other and vice versa. Seeing them here with each other was a good change of pace for everyone on board the ship. Maybe now they can finally get back into the team dynamics that they had when..when Shiro was still with them. Another thing that she really doesn’t want to discuss with Keith is the fact that more likely than not the man that he has grown accustomed to calling his brother is dead. It’s been months in human termanology, and they haven’t found anything to prove that he’s still alive, no matter how hard they looked. And Keith’s been running himself ragged, upturning every little stone trying, hoping to find something that isn’t there, and more likely than not will never be there. But she didn’t have the heart to tell him that, when the young leader already seemed to be in a slightly unstable headspace. Though they would have to talk about it eventually, and it was a conversation that Allura wasn’t looking forward to. 

  
  


“Hello, Keith, Lance.” Allura called in greeting. She figured that it was time that she spoke to the two of them. “Hey Allura.” Hi, ‘Lura!” They both called in unison. “What are you two up to?” Allura asked as she tinkered around at her station on the bridge. “Oh, nothing much, Hunk and Pidge were busy, so I just came in here to chill out before the meeting.” Lance told her. “Just came in here to go over the report before we started.” Keith said in a very stoic and monotone voice. Allura had a feeling that there was more to his words than what he was letting on. But she chose not to say anything about it and just let it go for now. She nodded her head and started to tap buttons on her console that she had pulled up. She came into the bridge to set up for the meeting on the next planet that she wanted to recruit for the Coalition. Coran would be coming in any minute, along with Hunk and Pidge. The three of them were off on some sort of mission of the elder Altean to check on parts of the ship to see if any repairs were needed while they had a free moment. Which left Allura in an awkward silence with the new Black and Red Paladins. She really wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do with them now. 

  
  


After a few more minutes of her just flipping through her screens, trying to look busy, Allura decided she had enough. “Hey, Keith, if you’re ready, I can go ahead and upload your report if you want to.” Allura suggested. Keith sort of jumped in his seat at the sound of her voice, and whipped his head up. He seemed sort of nervous and scared to talk to her. “Oh, um, yeah sure.. I.. we can do that.” Keith said as he moved to hand Allura his data pad. Allura gladly took the tablet and moved to hook it up to the Castle’s mainframe. The whole process took about 10 minutes to accomplish before she was handed the tablet back to its new owner. “Here you go Keith, you should be able to have full and complete control over your report from your pad.” Allura informed him. “I hooked it up so your tablet is linked with the Bridge’s mainframe projector. This should let you project it so everyone else can see, while you can control it yourself from your data pad.” Keith nodded his head. “Thanks, Allura.” He told her quietly. Allura gave him a small smile before she went back to work before the rest of the group came in. 

Coran and the rest of them came in a few ticks later. The trio were all smiles and giggles as Coran was telling them one of his many stories from his childhood. Allura shook her head, but couldn’t keep the small smile off of her face, as she was half-listening to the story. The three of them soon settled down in their own stations, and they soon began the meeting. When they started the meeting Allura nodded her head in Keith’s direction signaling him to start. Keith slowly stood up and moved to go and stand at the front of the bridge in front of everyone. He took a shaky, deep breath, and made eye contact with Lance before he started his report. He took out his data pad, and pulled up the presentation on the monitors. He gulped as he looked out at the rest of the group before going on. He hoped that this went over well. 

“Ok, um, well this is the new planet that we are looking at to join the Coalition.” Keith said. He tapped on his screen and an image of a planet came up on the screen. It was a fairly large planet, and it looked breathtakingly beautiful. It was an emerald green color, and it had different shades of green throughout the whole planet. And Lance could have sworn that it was glowing. Keith pressed a couple more buttons on the tablet and some information popped up on the screen. “The planet is called Mooie Juweeltje, when I tried to translate it into English, I got that it means something along the lines of “Beautiful Jem.” Keith told them. “I’m not sure how right I am, but I tried translating it 5 time and this is all that I got.” He scanned over his pad for a few minutes before speaking again. And Lance could tell that he was feeling awkward again at being up there. He stole a glance around the room and was relieved to see that everything was paying attention to Keith and weren’t judging him for being so stiff. They just had to get through this and then he could go and talk to Keith and hopefully set everything straight and they could all go back to the way things were. 

“So the only information that I’ve been able to find on this planet, is that they are heavily populated and are very rich in their natural resources.” Keith informed them. “The easiest way for me to explain this is that they’re sort of like the Balmerans.” Keith told them. “In all of the information that I’ve combed through I haven’t been able to find what they look like or a very detailed description of their government.” Everyone just nodded their heads at Keith’s explanation. “I was able to find out that they’re a monarchy and they’re normally ones to lend out any kind of aid that they can, but they’re peaceful and want to stay that way unless they need too.” Keith told him. “And they also have a very passionate hateful relationship with the Garla.” He told them. And that was the end of Keith’s report. Allura nodded her head and told Keith that he did a good job, and then went to do her own part. “Well, based on the information that Keith has gathered, we can all see that this planet is a perfect candidate to join the Coalition.” Allura explained. “And we’ll be in their orbit in about another few dobashes or so, right Coran?” “Oh, yes Princess, we’re almost there, it shouldn’t be too much longer.” Coran explained to him. “And never fear! I actually came here once for King Alfor on a diplomatic mission. The people of Mooie Juweeltje are very peaceful and are very, very friendly to travelers.” “But hasn’t been over 10,000 years or so since you’ve been there though?” Hunk asked with his hand raised, as if asking for permission to speak. “Well, you are right about that my dear boy, but I just have a feeling that it hasn’t changed that much.” Coran explained to them and it looked like he was holding back some tears. No one knew what was wrong but they didn’t press the matter anymore. 

The debrief broke up not that long after, and everyone went their separate ways. Lance was one of the last people to leave the room. He was hoping to catch Keith on his way out to hopefully talk to him about stuff. But as soon as Allura called it, the Black Paladin took off and sprinted out of the room. He disappeared down the corridor and Lance hasn’t been able to find him since. And after a couple of hours of trying to look for the allusive hothead, Lance gave up for the day and went to go and try and find Hunk. He needed some advice and Hunk was the only one that he could ask about it at the time. Hopefully after talking to Hunk, he could figure out a way to be able to fix everything now. If only Lance could foresee what’s in store for him and his friends.


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting ready to meet the Queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so things to know, after this chapter there's going to be about 2-3 more before we go on a little break again. I'm starting to clean house after this. I have about 3 others series going on besides this one and I'm going to finish two of them, and then go back to finish this one out. There's going to be about 3 more parts to this series before it's all over. Have a nice day! And a slight warning for the fact that Keith discusses his self destructive tendencies so if it’s for any of you, you might want to skip it just be in the safe side, though it’s nit that graphic, but details.  
-N.

Chapter 10

It wasn’t that long before Allura announced over the intercoms that they were getting ready to land soon. She told all of the paladins to get their armour on and to meet them on the bridge. It didn’t take Lance long to get ready, he grabbed his helmet and walked out of his room. And as he walked out of the door he saw Keith walk out of his own room which was across the hall from Lance’s. Lance smiled at them as they made eye contact for a split second before Keith ducked his head down and booked it down the hall. Lance sighed softly to himself as he followed after his team mate. It didn’t take too long before he was on the bridge with the rest of the Paladins. Lance went to go and take his seat in his station to wait as they began their descent into the planet’s atmosphere. He tried to make eye contact with Keith, but the raven kept avoiding eye contact with him. Lance gave up when Allura announced that they were almost there. Maybe he could try again after this mission was over.

The plant of Mooie Juweeltje was beautiful in Lance’s opinion. And based on what Keith found from his research it really does look like a sparkling emerald. That made him think of his older sister Veronica. Emeralds were her birthstone and also her favorite jewel. Every year for her birthday ever since they were kids, their parents would give her a new pair of earrings or a ring, sometimes a necklace that had emeralds. Their family may not have had too much when Lance was a little kid but they always managed to go all out for all of their five kid’s birthdays. Snapping himself out of his memories Lance turned his attention back towards the situation at hand. He had to get his head in the game, people were counting on him to get this race to join the Coalition. A lot was riding on this meeting, they needed all of the help that they could get to go and defeat the Garla. Now, more so than ever, especially after losing Shiro, and Lance was going to be damned if he let Lotor come in and take over right where his father left off. No one else needed to get hurt because of something that happened over 10,00 years ago. And Lance was going to make sure that it will happen. 

Once the Castle touched down, they waited a few minutes to gather all of their stuff before making their way to the planet’s surface. Watching the landing ramp extend from the Castle’s opening, Lance among other things was stunned. The planet was evening more beautiful on the ground than it was from outer space. Lance was really hoping that they could get the planet to join them for the sheer beauty of their planet alone. Taking cue from Allura, Lance and the others walked down the ramp to meet up with the oncoming group of natives that they were supposed to meet. And just like the planet, the people were breathtakingly beautiful as well. Lance’s jaw almost dropped at how beautiful these people were. This should be a very interesting meeting to say the very least.

“Hello, I am Princess Allura of Altea and the Blue Paladin of Voltron.” Allura greeted their arrival party as they approached them. “We mean you and your people no harm, we are only here to talk and ask your Queen if you wish to join our fight to eradicate Garlan rule of the universe once and for all.” Lance had to give it to her, Allura was one very fine and eloquent diplomat. She knew how to work a crowd to get people to listen to her and how to get them to join their side of the war. While Allura was busy telling the welcome wagon that they meant no harm, Lance was taking stock of their possible new allies. The Juweeltje, the race that inhabited this planet were absolutely stunning. For the most part they seemed to be human-like, except for the part where they’re green. Their skin was about the same shade of green as the planet’s surface. To Lance it looked like they were shimmering, and he was amazed by it. 

Lance wasn’t very surprised when he got an elbow to the ribs. He closed his mouth which was hanging open and turned his head slightly to see who it was. It was Hunk and he was giving Lance a look that in Hunk speak meant to ‘close your mouth and pay attention.’ So Lance just shook his head and went back to paying attention to Allura’s speech. Though at this point she was done speaking and they were being ushered along by their welcome party to go and meet their queen. Lance was kind of excited to meet her, if these were anything to go by then the Queen herself must be drop-dead gorgeous. It made his insides get all tingly, but it wasn’t so that he could flirt with her. He knows that he deemed himself “Loverboy Lance” and everything that goes along with it, but it’s not really who he is anymore. Ever since coming into space you could say that he has grown into himself. He’s come to realize that all that he wants is a partner, man or woman(That last part was something that he’s come to realize recently.) to spend the rest of his life with. He may be the most guilty out of all of them to talk a big game, but he really isn’t like that. He’s just curious about the Queen because the reason is that he’s just infatuated with the planet and he wanted to know more about them. He may not be the smartest person on the team, but Lance knows that one can learn a lot by observing and asking the right questions. And that was exactly what he was going to do.

Since no one was really into starting a conversation, Lance decided to spend his time looking around his surroundings. Everything was beautiful and vibrant. Since they were able to figure out that they could breathe the oxygen on the planet since it was almost identical to that of Earth’s, they didn’t need their helmets. Though they still had them with them just to be on the safe side. You never know when a sudden attack by the Garla could happen. They were just walking in silence when all of a sudden he heard a soft slap. Lance seemed to be the only one who heard it because no one else turned their head to look at what happened but him. And what he saw kind of alarmed him just a little bit.

Lance saw Keith walking beside him with a hand on his neck. He had a slight grimace on his face, but other than that he seemed okay. But something wasn’t settling right with Lance on the matter. He kept his gaze on Keith hoping that the other would notice that he was being watched and respond. His plan worked because Keith looked over at Lance with a very questioning look. ‘What?’ He mouthed. Lance shook his head and pointed to the leader’s neck. Keith followed his gaze to where he had placed his hand on his neck. He was just walking along, minding his own business when he felt something bite him on the neck. Keith winced and moved to slap away whatever bug it was that had bitten him. It hurt like a bitch, but when he pulled his hand back there weren't any traces of blood, so he didn’t think that much of it at the time. He figured that he would ask Pidge or Coran about it later after the meetings were over. He wasn’t surprised that Lance noticed him. Lance was way more observant about things and situations than people seem to either realize or give him credit for. And something about the way that he was looking at him made his stomach flutter in a weird kind of way.

‘It’s nothing.’ Keith had mouthed to him. ‘It’s just a bug bite, we can deal with it after this.’ He mouthed it with finality, but he could tell that Lance was okay with it, but he dropped it so they could get this over without any unnecessary drama. Eventually Lance gave up on staring at him and turned his attention back to the beautiful surroundings around them. And Keith didn’t know what it was, but he felt his chest tighten when Lance looked away from him. He didn’t like that feeling at all, but in the span of about 2 minutes since he had been bitten, Keith’s been feeling really weird. The closest thing that he could think of to describe these feelings is that it felt like one of his incoming panic attacks. Which he really didn’t want to happen. It wouldn’t look good for Voltron if their leader were to have a complete meltdown in front of an alien monarch when trying to form an alliance. And he just had a feeling that his team would mock him for it if they found out. So Keith was trying his best to keep everything under control. He just had to get through the meeting and then he could go back to the Castle, get checked out for his bug bite and then go to his room and have his breakdown there. He just had to push through, which was something that he was very familiar with.

While trying to get his body back underneath his control, Keith had lost time somewhere around there. By the time that he had come back to himself they were coming up to the entrance of the Capital City of the planet. He still wasn’t with it enough to be able to comprehend what it’ s name was, he just knew that they were almost to the Queen. Trying to recall the research that he had done on this planet, Keith remembered that the Queen whose name he could not find, was really young. She couldn’t be no older than Keith, and she was thrusted into the role of Queen when her parents were killed in an attack on their ship by a Girl cruiser on their way back from some diplomatic event. It was all things that Keith could relate to her about. It sucked to be an orphan and it was very stressful to be thrust into a roll that you weren’t and probably won’t ever be prepared for. And the one person that you could go to for help wasn’t there anymore to help you. Maybe he could use this to their advantage? Was that why Allura had him do research so he would know what to do? 

Deciding that now probably wasn’t the right time to have this internal debate about why and what he was going to do if he was right about it. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts and bring himself back to reality, Keith thought that looking at the surrounding area would be better. Not only could he see where and if assassins could hide if it was some sort of trap for them, he also found it slightly calming for more than just that reason. He can remember being about 4 years old and his Dad would take him on all of these spur of the moment day trips around town and the surrounding areas of their little house. His Dad would point out any and all landmarks that he thought were either important or cool, regardless of whether they actually were by law or not. It was something that just the two of them used to do together and Keith loved it a lot. It was one of the things that he missed the most about his Dad when he died. He was always able to make Keith feel safe, and grounded no matter where they were. People used to tell him that he developed anxiety after his father’s very traumatic death, Keith believes that more likely than not it’s a problem that he’s struggled with for all of his life but his Dad was able to control it and when he was gone…. Well let’s just say it’s a good thing that he eventually found Shiro or he would be very, very screwed at the moment. And now that Shiro’s gone, he’s not really sure what to do with himself anymore. 

What felt like a mere few minutes later to Keith, he noticed that they were already at the gates to the throne room in the castle. He’s been really bad about losing time today and needs to get his head in the game. This is important, the fate of the whole universe is depending on them as a team, and on him to save it. And he can’t screw all of that up because he was off in Lala Land inside his own head. He needed to be here and now in the present, fully, both mentally and physically. Luckily they had to wait a little bit before they could actually see and talk to the Queen since one of her guards said that she and one of her advisors were stuck dealing with a very important matter that had occured that morning that had to be attended to. Keith could barely hear Allura tell the guard that it was fine and that they didn’t mind to wait for a bit, and that she understood how easy it was for things unexpected to pop up when you least expect it and want it. Taking in a deep breath and letting it out, Keith looked around the room at the rest of the Team. For the most part they all seemed relatively calm about the situation. Allura was standing right next to him on the left, she seemed to be fixing the one stray hair that he could see out of place on her head. And knowing how Allura is, he knows that it’s probably driving her crazy right now. Going down the line he can see Coran, who is currently engaged in a conversation with one of the guards who escorted them in. He seemed to be telling him some sort of story about his childhood maybe? He wasn’t so sure but whatever it was the guard seemed kind of interested. And Hunk, who was standing next to the two of them, also seemed to be very interested in whatever Coran was talking about, and he was asking him questions about the stuff that he didn’t understand. Turning to his right, Pidge was tinkering with her wrist computer, she was going over some data that they had found at an abandoned Garla Base a couple of weeks ago. And standing right beside him was Lance. Lance seemed to be lost in thought, Keith was wondering what he was thinking about. He doesn’t know why but for some reason being around Lance was making him antsy. And not the kind of antsy he gets when they’ve walked into a trap or are in the middle of battle. No, this was more of, how should he say, butterflies in his stomach maybe? Yeah, that sounds about right. And that was making him extremely nervous and was part of the reason that he was so out of it. But at the same time being around Lance was calming. Even when they didn’t get along Keith liked being around Lance, he made him feel calm and safe like Shiro did, even if Keith wanted to choke him half the time. 

Though for the moment Keith decided to store all of those feelings away for the time being. Now, wasn’t the time for him to do stuff like this, especially with the way he normally dealt with him. He just had to get through this day and then he could go back to his room on the ship and break down. And to give credit where credit was due, the last couple of times that he had broken down after his last confrontation with Lance, he didn’t cut. He did still self-harm though, but it wasn’t anything too drastic, he just dug his nails into his arms and banged his head against the wall. But that was the least of the problems that he had today. Even though it’s still bad that he did it, he hasn’t cut in about a month now. It was extremely hard, and he still gets that thrum underneath his skin from time to time to cut. He hopes that Shiro wouldn’t be too disappointed about the fact that he relapsed. And yes, he knows that Shiro wouldn’t be upset with him since when they first talked about it, he had told him that he’s going to relapse some. The road to recovery is harder than it looks, was what he used to say to him. But Keith can’t help but feel guilty about it. Before Shiro had disappeared the first time Keith had made a promise to him that he was clean and that he wouldn’t cut anymore. And almost as soon as he’s gone again Keith fell apart. And he doesn’t even know why it happened this time. This was the second time that Shiro has vanished on him. He wasn’t like this the first time, though that was probably because he was so busy trying to find Shiro and what ended up being the Blue Lion.

Keith was brought out of his intrusive thoughts when he heard the announcement that the Queen was coming in. He shook his head again to clear his thoughts. He had to get his head back in the game, everything was riding on this. He was the leader, and he had to be there for his team, everyone was counting on him. He could do this, he could. But at the same time Keith had his doubts. He knew that he wasn’t the right person for the job, he was a hothead and a screw up with abandonment issues. He could never do half as good of a job at this as Shiro could. But now wasn’t the time for him to dwell on anything. He had a very important job to do rather he liked it or not, and it had to be done. He just had to hope that he didn’t succumb underneath all of the pressure first.


	12. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally meet the Queen, then everything goes to Hell and a hand basket. That's it, along with some revalations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 1/3, the next 2 should come out in the next little bit. This may be a little bit shorter than the last one, but it's more of a filler to set up the next chapter and I kind of ran out of ideas for this one. Then it's on to some house keeping, then back to this to hopefully finish it out and start on the next par and start back again on SEVENTEEN again at some point. Anyway, have a nice day and I hope that you all are staying safe and happy out there!  
-N.

Chapter 11

"First and foremost, I must apologize for making you all wait." The Queen Meedogenloze said as she entered the room with one of her advisors. "An unexpected and urgent matter had come up amongst the townspeople that I had to attend to. "That is quite alright your majesty, we did not mind the wait, and we understand perfectly well, about things occuring that are out of your own control." Allura told her. The Queen just smiled in response as she moved to sit down. All of the members of Team Voltron were getting ready to bow down before her, but she stopped. "Please, I know that it's customary in many cultures to bow down before the leader as a sign of respect, but you don't have to do that with me." The Queen told them. Everyone stopped and nodded in return. "I know that this seems very unorthodox, but I am not my parents nor my grandparents." She told them. "I want to be seen as an equal that my people can come to for help." And that was something that all of the Paladins could relate to with her. From appearances only the Queen didn't seem that much older than Keith, so it was understandable that she wanted to change the ways of past generations. "And please, do call me Meegen." "Alright, you high... I mean Meejen, it's a great honor to be in your presence." Coran said. " If you don't mind me asking but you don't happen to have an ancestor by the name of Willowmeana do you?" He asked her. "Ah, yes! Now, I know why you are so familiar to me." Meegen said. "Your name isn't Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe by any chance?" "Why yes, yes it is!" Coran told her. And everyone else was very confused at what was going on. 

"Uh, Coran, how do you know the family?" Hunk asked. He was the only one out of all of them that brave enough to ask the dreaded question. "Oh, Coran is very famous on this planet." Meegen said. "A couple of deca-phoebs before the Garla first invaded, Mr. Symthe here came to our planet on a research mission for King Alfor." Meegen said. "Yes, and when I got here I was introduced to the King's sister Willowmeana." Coran told them. "She was the most beautiful creature that I had ever seen." "And Aunt Meana was very enraptured by you." Meegen said. "I grew up listening to her old stories of your time here with her from my grandmother." Coran had a fond look on his face as he was being informed of his lost love. "Really? Ever since I got out of the pods I've been thinking about what happened to her." Coran said. "Aunt Meana lived a very long and prosperous life after you left." Meegen told him. "She was only 18 deca-pheobs old when she met you, but she really did love you. When the war broke out and she never heard from you again, she thought that you were dead." Meegen said. "Eventually she ended up married to a refugee that immigrated to our planet to escape the war, though he was killed when the Empire first tried to take us over." Everyone's expression sort of deflated at the mention of that. "Aunt Meana never married again, and she found out that she was with child, the baby died at birth and she never tried again." "That's awful." Lance said. Meegen nodded her head. "Yes, it is a very sad story, but it made her very anti-Zarkon, she didn't get how someone could be so cruel to go after their own people even if they were only half Garlan." "What, half?" Keith asked. And it was one of the first times that he had spoken up the whole time that they have been there. He was curious, so sue him.

"Yes, Uncle Draxum was half Garla from his father's side, I can't remember what race his mother was though." Meegen said. "He fled from the Empire in fear of his life, Zarkon had issued a decree that all half-bloods had to be taken out once and for all." She sighed to herself before she continued on. "Shortly after him and Aunt Meana married the Garla invaded and he died trying to protect her." Meana said. "Do you have a problem with hybrids Black Paladin?" She asked Keith sternly. Keith quickly shook his head, "No,no I don't have a problem with them, in fact I am one." Keith told her. "My father was human and my mother if she's still alive has Garlan DNA in her blood." Meegen didn't say anything for a couple of minutes before finally speaking again. "So, you aren't a hundred percent sure?" She asked him curiously. Again Keith shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not Meegen, my mother left Earth not that long after I was born and I've never met her." Keith told her. "So, since you talk about your father in the past tense, I say that it is safe to assume that you are an orphan like myself?" Meegen questioned him. "Yes, I am, I've been on my own since I was about 10 deca-phoebs old give or take, until the previous Black Paladin took me in under his wing until we joined and formed Voltron." Keith told her. Meegen seemed to take a few minutes to ponder over the information that she had just been told. Keith didn't know if that was a good thing or not, but he was banking that it would get her on their side.

  
"I apologize in advance if this seems too personal for you to answer, but have you been tested?" Meegen asked them. Keith stared at her in confusion for a few moments. Tested for what? Was there some sort of Garlan disease or defect that he could be at risk for since he's only half? "Tested for what?" Keith asked her. And if his voice was shaking while he talked no one mentioned it. He was grateful that they didn't. "Oh, so you don't know then? " Meegen said. "But that's very plausible since hybrids weren't that common around the time the war started." "What was he supposed to have been tested for?" Lance asked her. He seemed to be genuinely worried about Keith and that did stuff to his heat okay? "Is this something that could possibly kill him?" Meegen shook her head. "No, no I promise you that your leader is in no threat of death or anything like that." She told them. "Though based on how you're acting I do believe that it might be considered strange to you and your culture." Meegen told them. "And I know in some cases that if said person has this then they are considered taboo and are exiled from their homes forever." "What could be so bad that it would cause something like that to happen?" Pidge asked. It was evident from her tone that she was worried about her friend, and the fact that she let the worry hang out in her voice is a clue to how bad she thinks this is. "Well, I am not definitely sure if you could have this gene Keith, but there's a chance that you may be able to bear young." Meegen told him. And that was when Keith felt his heart stop. 

  
Bear young? What the Hell did she mean by that? Was she insinuating the fact that Keith could get.. No, no it couldn't be. "What are you saying that Keith can get pregnant?" Hunk blurted out loud. Leave it to Hunk to ask the questions that no one wants to ask or is too scared to. Meegen nodded her head in reply. And all that Keith could think about was how this was either some sick twisted sort of a joke, or the worst nightmare of his life. "Is this some sort of a joke?" Lance asked next. And Keith could tell by the tone of his voice that Lance wasn't very happy at the moment. "I'm afraid that I am not Paladin Lance." Meegen told them. "What most people don't know about the Garlan race is that almost anyone can bear a child if they're healthy enough." She said. "That's part of the reason that their population is so large, no matter what gender you are you can have kids, and there's the fact that they are known for having multiples at birth." "What does this have to do with Keith?" Lance asked. And Keith was glad that he did since he felt like if he opened his mouth he'd puke. "Well, this gene has been known to pass from parents to children, regardless of whether they are full-blooded or not." Meegen told them. Keith really wanted to go crawl into a whole and die now. That's what he really wanted to do.

  
"Do...Do I have the gene..?"Keith asked in a soft, shaky voice. His nerves were basically fried at this point, he didn't know what to do with himself. The possibility that he could have this life changing, Earth shattering gene, really was making his stomach turn. He could have had this gene all his life and not known about it. What if he had gotten pregnant while he was still on Earth? What would have happened to him then? Would they have locked him up to perform experiments on him? Would he have been labeled a freak? Would.. Would he have had to raise the child of the man who.. That was in the past, and it was something Keith swore he'd never think about ever again and he wasn't going to start now. Maybe he didn't have it, and they could just put all of this behind them and continue on with life. He really didn't need another reason for people to be looking at him strangely. "Well?" Keith asked again when no one was able to answer him the first time. He looked around the room at the Queen, her advisors, guards, and the rest of his team. They were all just looking at him like he was losing his mind. It was really making Keith's anxiety spike. And at some point he thought that he had lost Lance, and that really sent his heart rate racing.

  
Did Lance leave him? Was he disgusted at the fact that his supposed leader and somewhat friend was a freak? The mere thought of Lance leaving him now for the fact that he wasn't normal like everyone else on the team was, had his mental state in shambles. At some point Keith realized that his breath had picked up, and it was getting harder to take in any air. He was barely able to acknowledge the fact that he was shaking in place, or that his knees were about ready to buckle underneath him. At some point he could barely hear someone calling his name, trying to talk to him about he didn't know what. But he was too freaked out to be able to tell what they were saying. He flinched back violently when someone touched his forearm. He didn't know what was wrong with him, he just couldn't get himself sorted out today. He was so out of it that he didn't realize that everyone around him was sharing worried glances with each other. They all knew that something was wrong with their leader and friend, but they didn't know what. It looked like he was having a panic attack or something but no matter what they tried he couldn't calm down. And when Lance had moved behind Allura when she had moved to try and sort out all of this with the Queen and Keith, he really lost it. Things were sprialling really quickly. And if they didn't do something soon, Keith more likely or not would pass out. And they were trying really hard to avoid that. Though they were too late when not even 5 minutes after Lance tried again to bring him back when he touched his arm, Keith's eyes rolled back into his head and he was down.

  
“What do we do now?!” Hunk asked, panicked. Everyone was just standing around, surrounding Keith,. It was clear that no one really knew what to do at the moment. The tension in the room was so thick that you could have cut it with a knife. Though Hunk was probably one of the most freaked out, especially since he tended to freak out over every little thing. But Hunk did bring up a very valid point of the matter. What were they going to do? They didn’t know why Keith had passed out or how severe whatever it was that he had was. “It’ll take too long probably for us to get him back to the Castle to check him out properly.” Allura said. “Do not fret Paladins, we have a very equipped medical facility that is capable to check him out.” Meegen said. “It would be no trouble at all for us to do this.” The rest of Team Voltron just shared a look with each other. “Are you sure?” Lance asked. “You can run every test that you have and know of on him?” Meegen nodded her head. “Do not worry, Red Paladin, you’re leader will be in good hands.” She then motioned for the guards to go get help and to set Keith up so that they could transfer him to the medical wing of the palace.

  
It goes without saying that everyone on Team Voltron was extremely worried about their leader and friend. In all of the time that they have known Keith, even though it hasn’t been that long when compared to the relationship that he had with Shiro. But they were in a desperate situation and they couldn’t do anything else. Now, they just had to go and trust these people whether they wanted to or not. And all that they were hoping for was for their friend to be alright. They needed Keith and he needed them. They couldn’t do this without him. Everything else that the test could show they can deal with at a later time. Right now, they needed to know that their friend was going to be ok.. That he wasn’t going to die. And for some reason this was really affecting Lance. He knew that he and Keith have only gotten semi-close these past couple of months, but he couldn’t bear the thought of losing the half-Garlan. Even though they are still at odds with each other, they got along really well now. And younger Lance would probably have a stroke after him saying this but, he loved Keith, and he didn’t want him to die.

  
It goes without saying that everyone on Team Voltron was extremely worried about their leader and friend. In all of the time that they have known Keith, even though it hasn’t been that long when compared to the relationship that he had with Shiro. But they were in a desperate situation and they couldn’t do anything else. Now, they just had to go and trust these people whether they wanted to or not. And all that they were hoping for was for their friend to be alright. They needed Keith and he needed them. They couldn’t do this without him. Everything else that the test could show they can deal with at a later time. Right now, they needed to know that their friend was going to be ok.. That he wasn’t going to die. And for some reason this was really affecting Lance. He knew that he and Keith have only gotten semi-close these past couple of months, but he couldn’t bear the thought of losing the half-Garlan. Even though they are still at odds with each other, they got along really well now. And younger Lance would probably have a stroke after him saying this but, he loved Keith, and he didn’t want him to die.


	13. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Team finds out some very important information. Lance spends some time reflecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2/3. Enjoy!   
-N.

Chapter 12

“It appears that your Black Paladin has been bitten by the Krachtige liefde.” The Royal Doctor informed them. “What?” Lance asked him. He had no idea what that was, but he was almost positive that it wasn’t a good thing. And if Keith was bitten by whatever it’s called then this can’t be good. “As I said before Red Paladin your leader was bitten by..” “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time doctor, but my question is what is it?” Lance asked in the most respectful manner that he could muster at the moment. Even though he was upset and worried out of his mind, he still had to act diplomatic about it. “Well, I am not entirely sure how to translate this into your own language, but it’s an insect.” The doctor told them. “And it seemed to have bitten your friend on the neck at some point, and it’s venom has seeped out into his blood.” “Oh my God!” Hunk screamed. “Is he going to die?!” The doctor shook his head again. “No, luckily his case isn’t that severe.” “So what is it that the bug did to him?” Pidge asked them. “Well, the bite of this bug, is how you put it, emotion enhancing.” The doctor told her. “The people who are bitten by this bug, their hormones go out of whack.” “Define out of whack?” Hunk asked. “Oh! I remember what this bug is!” Coran butted in.

“What is it Coran?” Allura asked him. “The whole reason why I was sent here all those deca-pheobs ago was this bug.” Coran told them. “King Alfor wanted to know more about it, he had heard about it from a traveling tradesman.” He said. “Oh, what did he call it… Ah! Yes, he called it a love bug.” Everyone’s eyes got wide at that. “A love bug, those are just a myth right?” Hunk asked. “I am afraid not Yellow Paladin.” Justitie, the Queen’s second-hand told him. “We’re not sure where this bug originated from, but over time it has risen in population on our planet, and it is mostly harmless.” “Harmless, the doctor just said that Keith was lucky to be alive.” Lance said. “Well, more likely than not it’s harmless, as long as they come into contact with their fate pair.” The doctor told them. “Fated pair?” Lance asked him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Well, when the person is bitten, and they come into contact with their fated pair, it’s non-lethal.” He said. “They just act a lot more affectionate with their pair, and the effects should wear off in about a movement or so.” “And if they don’t?” Pidge asked. “Well, let’s just say that it has never ended well.”

“But you said that Keith’s case wasn’t that bad.” Hunk pointed out. “So that means that Keith’s okay, right?” The doctor nodded. “Why, yes, from the data that was collected from the scans that we took, it seems that your Black Paladin has found his fated pair.” He told him. “But, who?” Hunk asked. “We’ve haven’t been around anyone but each other for months, and the few people that we’ve come into contact with haven't been for long periods of time.” “Well, then it’s safe to guess that your leader’s fated pair is one of you.” Justitie said. Everyone was shocked at that. One of them? One of them was set up by the universe to be Keith’s fated pair? “Who?” Lance asked, and for a second there he didn’t even recognize his own voice. “I don’t know, Red Paladin, but it has to be one of you.” Meegen said. “Neither I or any of my guards or cabinet members have been around your leader long enough.” “Keith got bit right about here right?” Lance asked as he moved his arm to his neck to indicate where Keith had been bitten. “Yes, but how did you know?” The Royal Doctor asked. “On the way to the palace I heard a noise, when I turned to see what it was I saw that Keith was holding his neck here.” Lance explained as he motioned to his neck. “When I tried to see if he was alright he blew me off and said it was fine.” The doctor took a few moments to process what had just been told. “Was there anything different about him when you asked him this?” The doctor asked. Lance thought about it for a moment and he realized that there was in fact something off about Keith. “Yeah, I thought that I was going crazy for a minute there, but I could have sworn that his eyes had turned pink when we made eye-contact.” Lance said. And that was when it felt like the whole room was beginning to close in on him. 

Everyone in the room had their eyes on Lance. And for once in his life he didn’t want to be the center of attention. “Does, .. does that mean that Keith and Lance are..?” Hunk asked. The doctor took a minute to respond but ultimately did. “Yes, based on our data and the information that your Red Paladin has given us, it seems as if you two are fated pairs.” At that moment Lance was really starting to believe that he was going to faint. They couldn’t be fated pairs, could they? They’ve only been on halfway decent terms for a couple of months now, how could they be in love? Hell, Lance only just realized that he was in love with him a couple of minutes ago? He wasn’t even sure if Keith felt the same way as he did. It was at that precise moment that Lance knew he was completely and utterly screwed. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly are fatted pairs?” Hunk questioned. “Well, fated pairs have been part of our race for as long as I could remember.” Meegen said. “I don’t know exactly how to explain it in your native tongue, but I think the term is soulmates?” She told them. “Are you familiar with this term?” “Yes, but where we’re from, it’s just a myth.” Pidge told her. “They’re just stories that people read for fun, and entertainment, there’s no truth to them at all.” “Well, they are quite real here Green Paladin.” Meegen informed her. “It’s part of the reason that we allow the Krachtige liefde to thrive on this planet.” What do you mean?” Lance asked. “Many of the fate pairs on our planets and some who have traveled from other worlds have been bitten by this bug.” “So it’s like a love bug then?” Pidge asked as she fixed her glasses. “Love bug?” Justitie asked. “Another myth, or a story from our home planet of Earth.” Pidge told them. “Person A is bitten by the bug and they fall in love with the first person that they laid eyes on.” “That sounds similar to the Krachtige liefde then.” He said. “So you’re saying that Keith got bitten by essentially a love bug and I just so happened to be the first person that he looked at?” Lance questioned. And by the looks on the other’s faces, he really didn’t want to know the answer, or he already knew it, but he just didn’t want to admit it out loud. This was turning out to be a very interesting and a very long day.

“What are you going to do Lance?” Hunk asked him. And Lance couldn’t get mad at him for it, he was only being concerned for his friends after all, typical Hunk. Choosing to ignore the question at hand, he chose to move on to a different topic. “Were you able to check for any other health anomalies?” Lance chose to ask instead. “Well, other than that bite he sustained to his neck, your Black Paladin seems to be unharmed.” the Doctor told them. “Though that’s probably not what you were looking for though was it?” Lance shook his head in response. “Does he have the gene or not?” Lance asked him. The doctor took a few minutes to flip through the data on his little digital chart he had in his heads. And this was some of the most nerve wracking moments in his life. He just wanted to know if Keith had the gene or not, and then he had to figure out a way to tell him about it. Even though this was Keith’s business, he knew that Keith was less likely to freak out if one of them sat him down and told him than the random alien doctor that he’s never met before. “Well,” The Doctor said. Lance wasn’t sure if he was stalling for dramatic effect or not but if he didn’t tell him in the next 2 seconds he was going to shoot him. “He does in fact have the hybrid gene.” He told them all. “Which is very surprising since you come from a species where only the female can carry young correct?” He asked them. They all nodded their heads. “Well, I suggest that we inform your friend as soon as he wakes up, or things might get tricky.” And somehow Lance couldn’t understand how things could get way worse than they actually are. 

Due to all of the meds that they had Keith under, it would be a couple of vargas before Keith would wake up. Meegen and Justitie were nice enough to treat the Paladins to a tour of the palace and offered them some food. Everyone agreed, but Lanc politely denied and decided to stay back to be with Keith. Even though he knew that they would probably be back before he woke up, but he couldn’t leave him alone. He knew that Keith didn’t do well in places that he wasn’t familiar with, especially if he didn’t know anyone there. So he pulled up a chair next to the hospital bed that they had moved their leader to, and waited. He didn’t know what to do with all of the information that he had learned today. It was a lot to process for anyone. Finding out that your old rival/enemy turned friend and kind of crush, is somehow destined to be with him forever. And the fact that all of it could just be the venom from the bite and after about a week everything would go right back to normal. Lance didn’t know if he was able to handle something like that. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life harboring a heartbreak because him and Keith just… he couldn’t even really put his thoughts about that into words anymore at this point. That would kill him, almost definitely, and Lance didn’t think that he could handle it. He is a very open and affectionate person, who tends to wear his heart on his sleeve more likely than not. He wasn’t made for stuff like this, and he was very, very vulnerable to stuff like this.

On the other hand though, he wasn’t sure if he were able to get over his crush on Keith. Even though the realization is still relatively new, thinking about it more and more he now knows that he’s liked Keith for a very, very long time. Like since second year Garrison days long time. Which was more likely than not part of the reason that he started the whole rivalry between the two of them in the first place. He wanted to get Keith’s attention and prove to him that he was capable enough to be seen as more than just an equal or better. He wanted Keith to see him as a romantic option. Thinking about all of the stupid stuff that he used to do in the old days just to get Keith to glare at him all made sense. And also made Lance cringe internally. What was he thinking? It then dawned on him that the reason he tried to become “Loverboy Lance” so hard was because of Keith. If he had the chance, he would go back in time and slap some sense into his younger self. He really would, it just was way too out there.

But he couldn’t help it, really. There’s just always been something about Keith that’s drawn him to him. When he first met Keith his first day at the Garrison he didn’t know what to think. He was 12 years old, and thought that he was it. Little Lance was beyond ecstatic that he was able to get into the Garrison. Then he had met the brick wall that was Keith Kogane. At first he didn’t know that much about the other boy. All that he knew was that Keith was quiet, distant, quite good in class, was either very shy or a prick, and he had the most beautiful eyes that Lance has ever seen in his life. Hunk didn’t believe him at first when he told him about them. Lance has sworn on his life since he was twelve that Keith has purple eyes. Hunk told him he was crazy but Lance never let up about it. Keith had beautiful violet eyes, and they were so captivating that all Lance could do was stare at him. It didn’t take long before Lance realized that if he just sat there and stared into Keith’s eyes, two things would happen. The first one is that he will probably fail all of his classes, and flunk out of the Garrison, and his mother would kill him. The second one would be that Keith would view him as a creep and deck him so hard that his great-great-grandchildren would feel it. And he saw what he did to James Griffin in the early days. At the time he didn’t want to be the next person on the receiving end of his right hook.

His crush only grew from there. He wanted to know anything and everything about Keith. And speaking of James Griffin, he was how Lance learned this very important fact about him. He learned that day in the simulator room while James was laying on the floor in agony and Keith was on top of him in a rage screaming his head off, that Keith was an orphan. And he also learned that James Griffin was the largest asshole, besides Zarkon he has met in his life. He couldn’t fathom why a person would stoop so low to bring up the fact that someone didn’t have any parents. Doing some research of his own, Lance found out that Keith’s father was a firefighter and he died trying to save someone from a burning building. And that he wasn’t on duty that day at all. No, he was out in town spending the day with Keith, when he saw the building erupt into flames. He went to go to try and help his fellow firefighters, but he didn’t make it. And he left Keith all alone. He also knew that the mom wasn’t in the picture (Now they know why), and that she had ditched them when Keith was a newborn. Lance felt sorry for Keith, Lance himself grew up in a very large and a very close family. Coming to the Garrison was the first time that Lance ever really had a moment alone to himself without some relative near him. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose anyone of them, regardless of how much they annoy him from time to time. But Lance’s mind was put at ease when he knew that Shiro was looking after him. And that just furthered his admiration and obsession with the elder. 

Looking at Keith’s body, laying prone before him on that hospital bed, Lance realized how pale he was. With him being knocked out it was easier for Lance to see how horrible he looked. Keith had tell-tell signs of exhaustion marked all over his body. Besides the fact that he looked like a ghost, he had prominent dark bags underneath his eyes. And Lance finally noticed how skinny he is now, and Lance didn’t like it one bit. Though when they changed him into hospital scrubs they put him in a long sleeve shirt. Lance was glad for that, he knew about the scars that mattered Keith’s body and he didn’t want to be the one to have to explain to the team about them and why they were there. Though Pidge and Hunk could probably guess why, but he didn’t know how much Allura and Coran knew about self-harm and mental illnesses. He turned his attention back to the figure laying in the bed before him. Even though he looked like a complete and utter wreck, he was still breathtakingly beautiful in Lance’s opinion. With him laying down motionless, his hair was all in his face, and he looked cute in Lance’s opinion. He took his hand and began to brush back the strands of hair from his face. God, he really was in love with this man.

Lance repeated this process for a couple of minutes, he liked it, found it soothing. He also liked the feeling of running his hands through Keith’s hair. It was soft and smooth like what one thinks silk would feel like. Lance was so lost in what he was doing he didn’t notice all of the monitors that Keith was hooked up too began to change. He didn’t realize that Keith was waking up until he heard the other boy shift and groan on the bed. Lance’s head snapped to attention at the noise. “Keith.. Keith?” He called softly. Hoping that he wouldn’t scare the other with loud noises. Lance reached to the side of the bed and pressed a button that he was told would alert someone that Keith was awake. So far, he seemed to be waking up, but he hadn’t opened his eyes yet. Though at time that the door was opening and the doctor was coming into the room, he could finally see Keith’s violet irises. They took a while to focus in on him, though, but once they did Lance swore that he saw them turn pink again. “Lance?” Keith called his name softly and reached out his hand to grasp his own. Lance met him halfway and grabbed his hand, he had a smile on his face hoping to help ease the uneasiness that Keith must be feeling at the moment. It seemed to be working until Keith asked him a question. “What happened?” Oh, boy this wasn’t going to end well. It wasn’t going to end well at all.


	14. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's view on things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally have a certain amount of chapters! Yeah! So we're close to the home stretch of part one now. And this is chapter 3/3 before I start cleaning house and finish out a few other things that I have posted and wanted to post. After that it's back to this fic to finish it all out. I don't know about you, but I know that I want to know how all of this ends. Anyway, have a nice day wherever you all are!   
-N.

Ever since Keith woke up in the hospital bay of the palace, his whole life has been completely different. It took awhile to get him lucid enough to be able to process information. By the time that happened the rest of the Team came back from their tour of the castle. Then they sat Keith down and started to explain everything that had happened when he was out. They let the Royal Doctor and Lance explain most of the stuff to him. He didn’t really trust the doctor, and he felt better, calmer that Lance was there with him. The doctor then began to explain that the reason that he was in the hospital in the first place was because of his bug bite. Keith subconsciously brought his hand up to his neck where he had been bitten earlier. He was surprised that all of this was because of some bug bite. Though he really shouldn’t have been surprised, since he’s on an alien planet, being bitten by an alien bug he’s never seen before. And it made sense to Keith, since he was told that the venom from the bite is what messed with him and caused him to pass out on them. Though, that was when they got into the why part, and Keith wished that he was still knocked out cold.

He swears that he felt his heart stop beating when the doctor started going on about this fate pair business. Keith thought that he was crazy, or maybe the team was pulling a prank on him to get him to loosen up some. But with how serious and quiet everyone was acting he knew that they were telling the truth, and that this thing wasn’t a joke. Keith felt his stomach fill with dread. Once he had the science behind the bug and what it causes, he made the mistake of asking questions. “So, if all of this is true, then who’s this ‘fated pair’, then that I’m supposed to have?” Keith asked them. For the longest time no one in the room would look him in the eyes, or answer him. “Well? You guys said that my case isn’t that bad compared to some of the others that you have seen, and that’s only because I’ve found my soulmate or something?” Keith said. “Who is it?” And Keith felt like he was going to throw up again when all eyes in the room moved to Lance. No, no it couldn’t be him, it couldn’t be Lance. The universe must be playing some sort of sick joke on him or something. Lance, it just had to be Lance, the one person in the world that Keith knew couldn’t ever return his feelings for him in the same manner that he felt them. Logically, he knew that the chances of Lance liking Keith in the same way that he liked the Cuban was a long shot. It was only something for him to dream about at night, and then wake up in the morning and wish that it was real. But there was still a small part of him that believed it could become a reality. And more likely than he liked to admit, Keith listened to that part of himself a lot. 

Somehow Keith and Lance ended up making eye contact with each other. It was awkward as Hell, but for some unknown reason neither one of them were able to look away from the other. It was like they were being drawn in to one another, like something was pushing for them to be together. At least that’s how it felt to Keith, and it was making him really uneasy. He could feel the beginnings of another panic attack coming on and he didn’t think that he would be able to stop it before it went full-blown. But that was something that Keith really wasn’t in the right mind-set to be able to handle all of this right now. Though he wasn’t that lucky to get that kind of a break with the way that his luck was going, And to make matters worse that wasn’t all of the news that he was going to get that day. Keith didn’t know if the doctor didn’t get the memo that everyone was sort of out of it or that he just didn’t really care, but he just decided to keep on with the bombshells today. “And, besides that fact, you also tested positive for the Garlan carrier gene.” the doctor told him in the most driest tone he’s ever heard. “Congratulations.” And that was when Keith blacked out for the second time that day.

And that was how Keith got to where he was now. The next time that Keith woke up, he was back in his own room aboard the Castle. At first he couldn’t remember really how he got there. Then it started to come back to him. Going planet side for negotiations, getting bitten, waking up and having his whole world turned upside down. He felt his face start to get hot when he remembered the bit about the Garlan carrier gene, and him and Lance being destined soulmates. Keith was beyond embarrassed about all of that information and how it was told to him in front of the whole team. He thought of himself as a joke of a leader now. No one would ever have any respect for him again because of this. And it was all of his thought too, which was the worst part. If he hadn’t gotten bit, then none of this would have happened to him. More likely than not they would all just go on with their lives and Keith would just continue to harbor his feelings to himself and no one would notice the difference. And they would never know about any of the things that he’s kept to himself for years. Because of all of this, Keith hasn’t left his room ever since they had gotten back. And he wasn’t really planning on coming out anytime soon either. 

So for the past couple of days he’s spent his time in his room. He just sat there and stared at his wall or the door, sometimes he would mix it up a little bit. But he just can’t deal with the prospect of interacting with the others on the ship. Even the mere thought of stepping foot out of his bed alone sent him into a spiraling panic. Going to the little ensuite bathroom that was attached to his room was very difficult. He hated it, but he knew that if he tried to go out of his room and then things would just get worse. Though he really didn’t know how much worse it could get when he was already feeling like crap. One of the last things that he was told before the last time that he blacked out, he was told that he had to stay near Lance as much as he could, or else he’d feel pain and uncomfortableness until the venom worked itself out of his system. So far, the symptoms haven’t been that bad, at least nothing that Keith can’t handle himself. He wants to just be left alone, and hopefully just up and disappear so he never has to face anyone ever again. If only he were that lucky. 

And he could hear Shiro’s voice in his head, nagging him about all of this. But at the moment Shiro wasn’t here, so Keith didn’t need to be nagged at. He just didn’t know what to do about any of it, so he did what he always did when he didn’t know what to do. He ran away from his problems and locked up all of his feelings in a little box inside of his heart. Flopping down onto his bed on his back, Keith groaned and covered his face with his hands. He was just so frustrated with himself and the situation that he was currently stuck in. And sure the fact that he could get pregnant was very unnerving for him. But at the same time he felt a lot calmer thinking about that problem than he did the other problem that he had going on. Lance… God, why did he have to fall for such a straight man, who also is a bit of an idiot. If Keith had the chance to go back in time, he’d go back and drop kicked his younger self to get him to stay as far away from Lance McClain as he possibly could. He knew that there would be trouble whenever he was around Lance when they were younger, but he never thought that it would come to this. Keith figured that he would grow old and die alone as some sort of delinquent, while Lance would go off, have a career, a loving family, and die fat, happy and old, like he was supposed to. But everything changed when they found the Blue Lion. It was something that gave him a little pang of hope to hold onto in trying times. And he just couldn’t handle that thought sometimes. 

Keith jumped upright when he heard a knock sounding on his door. This has been going on for the past couple of days or so. Someone would bring him meals and leave them outside his door and knock to tell him it’s there. They let him be by himself ever since they got back from their last mission. Though he didn’t bother to eat any of the food that they left for him. And it wasn’t because he was ungrateful, or anything, he just hadn’t been hungry for the past couple of days. Which was a clue that Keith was more likely than not going into one of his depressive-like episodes. He always did this, it was either not eat, cut or all of the above. And he had promised Shiro once, and now Lance that he wouldn’t cut himself ever again. So far, he’s been good on that promise, but he still has that craving for cutting. He could feel the burn underneath his skin, and it was getting bigger and bigger. It was hard for him to ignore it, but he tried and bared through it. He knew that if he didn’t try to talk to someone else again he’d give in to his bad desires and who knows what would happen if he started again.? That thought alone was enough to scare him back to himself. Before he could do anything though, he heard another knock at his door. “Keith?” Lance asked from the other side. And it just made his blood run cold. 

“Keith?” Lance called through the door again, this time slightly louder. Keith groaned to himself and put his head in his hands. Why? Why did it have to be Lance to come and try to get him out of his room? “Keith?” Lance tried again. “Come on man, it’s been three days Keith, you have to come out sometime.” Three days? Man, it’s already been that long? With being in his room so long he’s lost all concepts of time and reality at the moment. But the prospect of interacting with anyone else, especially Lance, it just sends shivers of anxiety down his spine. He knew that he couldn’t hide away from all of them forever, but at the same time he just couldn’t deal with it. He knew that the right thing to do in this situation was to go and confront Lance about all of their problems and sort it out, but he just couldn’t do it. Keith was scared, he was scared of what could happen if he went and did this. He wasn’t the best person to deal with their own emotions and control them. He, he never really had anyone to show him how to interact with people. For the longest time it was just him and his Dad, then he was on his own. And by the time that Shiro had gotten a hold of him, it was much too late. Though he’s not as bad as he used to be anymore since they came to space. And that’s mostly Lance’s doing, come to think of now. Until all of this happened, Keith never realized exactly how much of a role in his life that Lance plays and how much he depends on him on a day to day basis. Man, he was whipped bad. 

During all of this soul searching that he was doing, Lance hadn’t let up on his knocking. He would bang on the door every minute or so and call something out to his friend. He was trying to get some sort of reaction out of him, he’d take anything. Lance was very concerned about Keith, who has been locked up in his room for the past couple of days since they had gotten back from their recent diplomatic mission. Meegen still checks in every once in a while to see how they’re doing or if they need anything. Lance had never seen anyone as kind and friendly as the young Queen. In all honesty, she had reminded Lance a little bit of Allura. Both of them were very young and all alone, left by their parents to rule over in their absence. It was a lot of pressure for someone so young to take on and deal with all by themselves. Getting back to the topic at hand here, Lance was very concerned for Keith. Everyone on the ship did their best to keep the two of them apart from each other, which wasn’t that difficult considering that Keith refused to leave his room. But they did give him meals outside his door, which Lance couldn’t do incase Keith opened the door at the same time that he put the tray down. And from all that Hunk was telling him, it probably wouldn’t happen anytime soon. His concern only grew when he found out that Keith hadn’t eaten anything that they have given him. And he’s almost positive that Keith didn’t have any food stored in his room with him. So more likely than not, Keith wasn’t eating, and that didn’t set well with Lance. And after day 3 of this, was when Lance couldn’t take it anymore. He was fed up with all of it. So when they had finished eating dinner for the night and Hunk was getting ready to take Keith some food, Lance took the tray from him. He told Hunk that he was going to do it and that he was going to get Keith to open his door whether he liked it or not. Hunk didn’t say anything and let him leave the kitchen without any argument. He knew better to interfere when he recognized that his friend was a man on a mission and wasn’t someone to be messed with. 

So, standing here out in front of that door, he wasn’t going to move until he got Keith out of his room and anywhere else. He knew that Keith needed to get out of that room, the longer that he stayed in there the worse things were going to be. And he couldn’t get anything done if he was locked up in his room all day. Plus, he was worried about the fact that Keith had just sort of stopped existing. He didn’t want Keith to go and do something stupid and regret it later on if he mad it that long. Lance really wanted him to open that door. He was fully prepared to break it down if he had to. 

Coming to the realization that Lance wasn’t going to leave him alone anytime soon, Keith figured that he might as well let him know that he’s still alive. He got up from his bed and made his way over to the door. His original plan was to just say something, to let Lance know that he was alive and doing okay.(Yes, he knows that he’s not fine, but he’s not going to willingly admit that to Lance because he’ll just worry about him.) He doesn’t know what possessed him, but instead of doing that, he went and opened the door. By the expression on Lance’s face, he was expecting him to do that either. The two of them just stood in the doorway of Keith’s room, just staring at each other. Keith kind of felt self-conscience about himself. Lance was dressed in his regular outfit, jeans, a blue long-sleeve t-shirt and his green aviator jacket. In other words he looked beautiful. Keith on the other hand, looked like he just rolled out of bed (Which isn’t that far off.) He was wearing a pair of sweatpants, that didn’t exactly fit him right, (He’s pretty sure that they’re Shiro’s, but he’s not up to asking about it.) He wore a long red t-shirt and a gray sweatshirt over top of it. And he was positive that his hair was a complete rat’s nest, since he hasn’t combed it or anything since he had woken up in his room a couple of days ago. He was a mess, and he knew it, but he didn’t really care what he looked like, or at least he thought he didn’t. 

“Keith?” Lance asked him again softly. By the look on his face, Keith could tell that Lance was relieved to see him in person. And there was something else in Lance’s eyes that Keith couldn’t quite put a finger on, but it made him feel something that he didn’t know. “Um.. Yeah...Hey,..Lance..” Keith said, in a raspy voice. It actually kind of hurt to talk since his voice was so dry, but since he couldn’t remember the last time that he had spoken out loud or really drank enough water, it kind of explained itself to him. When Lance didn’t immediately say anything back to him, Keith got a little antsy. So, he pulled the hood of his jacket up on his head to hide his hair. Once he did that he wrapped his arms around himself, as sort of a security measure. It had been a long time since he had felt this vulnerable and insecure in front of someone that wasn’t Shiro, he didn’t like it. “Are.. Are you doing okay Keith?” Lance asked him. “And be honest with me please.” He added on. And Lance looked so, so soft and nice that Keith knew that he didn’t have it in him to deny his friend of his request. Was he fine? No, no he wasn’t, but at the same time he was afraid that if he admitted this out loud then he would never be viewed the same by anyone ever again. And the one person that he didn’t want to view him as a freak was standing right in front of him. He had a feeling that this wasn’t going to end well. 

“I’m.. I’m better than I was when we were planet side, but um.. Other than that, not really.” Keith admitted quietly. And Lance was sure that had he not been standing right in front of him then he wouldn’t have heard what he said. In only a matter of minutes, he went from feeling somewhat okay to being emotionally drained, he was so tired all of a sudden. He hoped that it didn’t show in his body language or anything, he didn’t want Lance to worry about him. Keith was so lost in thought that he jumped when he felt Lance’s hand cup his cheek to bring his head up to face him. Looking at Lance’s eyes again, it did something to Keith. He didn’t know how to put it in words but being around Lance made him feel safe and content, he felt calm and that he could be himself around the other paladin. “That’s a good step, I’m glad that you trust me enough to tell me all of that.” Lance told him softly. His expression was so soft and tender that it made Keith’s heart melt. “Look, I know that all of the information that we’ve found out in the past week has been very overwhelming and life altering.” Lance told him. “And I know that this has been a lot to process, trust me I’ve been there too, but you’re not alone Keith.” He told him. “We’re in this together, the two of us, regardless of whether we’re fated pairs or not, you’re my friend and I care about you, so if you need me, I’m there for you, got it?” Keith was taken aback by Lance’s words. It’s been a while since anyone has ever been that open and supportive of him. He’s never had a really strong support system, the closet that he has gotten to was Shiro and one of his olde foster moms, but things didn’t work out with her. Even though he was trying to get over Lance, he was always right behind him, doing something that made him fall even more in love with him. He was doomed to suffer because of this boy. “Thank you Lance.. No one has ever done something like that for me…” Keith told him. What happened next, Keith still can’t explain, it was like someone else had taken over his body, but he lashed out and wrapped his arms around Lance in a tight hug. Lance was surprised at the action that Keith could tell as he buried his face into Lance’s shoulder. But at the moment where Lance wrapped his arms back around Keith to return the hug, Keith didn’t care. He didn’t know what the future had in store for them, but he knew that everything would work out in the end as long as he had Lance by his side. That was one thing that he was positively sure of. 


	15. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take a turn for, I don't even know what to call it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter after awhile. We're getting into the home stretch now folks! only about 4 more chapters and epioluge. Then it's on to Part 2, which I've already started on. Have a nice day!   
-N.

Chapter 14

Not that long after that bonding moment between the two of them things changed on the Castle. Things between him and Keith were different to say the least, it was really hard for Lance to explain, they were closer, and yet at the same time they were just as much strangers as they had been the day they first met at the Garrison. It was weird for him, but at the same time it wasn’t, it was hard to explain. But luckily that wasn’t the only change that happened, and he had something to take his mind off of everything. They found Shiro, or more like Keith had finally found Shiro. Not that long after him and Keith had their little thing in the hallway, he had started going back out in Black to look for his adoptive older brother figure. About 2 weeks after this, Keith had rang the Castle in a panic, he had found a lone Garla escape cruiser floating in space. Pidge ran a scan on it and she found that there was someone inside, they were alive, but they weren’t responding. Keith was able to tow it back to the Castle and when they opened it up there was Shiro. Allura, Coran and the rest of them had ran all kinds of tests on him to make sure that it was actually him and everything. While they did that, Lance hung back with Keith in the medical bay as they watched them buzz around their old leader. 

Lance kept his eyes on Keith and watched his every move while they were waiting on Shiro. He knew that Keith was worried, he could tell it by his body language, and his posture. Keith was leaning up against the wall, eyes scanning the room, watching every single thing that was going on with Shiro. Lance could feel all of the anxiety that was radiating off of Keith, he could tell that he was nervous, or anxious for a better description. Keith was watching everything, but at the same time he seemed to be lost in his own head. And Lance took note of the fact that Keith was scratching at his arms furiously. He knew that he was scratching at the scars that littered his arms, and Lance was afraid that he was going to reopen his wounds. So Lance cautiously reached over and grabbed Keith’s hand in his own. The movement made Keith jump and he turned his attention away from Shiro for just a moment to see what was going on. Panicked violet irises were staring at Lance in question when they were able to make eye contact. Keith had a look of slight confusion on his face, like he didn’t know what Lance was going to do. He was guarded and he, well Lance thought that he was going cray, but to Lance it looked like that Keith was afraid of him or something. But Lance wasn’t going to push or anything, he was going to let Keith set the tone and go at his own pace. If he wanted to open up he did, if not then, Lance has some more work cut out for them. Keith eventually raised an eyebrow to ask what he wanted in a silent question. Lance looked down and hoped that Keith would follow his gaze, which he did and saw that Lance had his hand overtop of Keith’s own. When Keith looked back up he was still confused, so Lance had to spell it out for him. “You were scratching at your arms man.” Lance leaned in and whispered into his ear. “I don’t want you to reopen your scars.” And then it had dawned on Keith. He ducked his head down and he had a slight redness to his cheeks. He mumbled a small and timid “thanks” before pulling his arms away and wrapping them around himself. Well, at least this was making progress.

Eventaully, they ran all of the tests, and all of the results said that it was the real Shiro. Lance took a side glance at Keith to make sure that he was alright. Keith just looked shocked, Lance could see the tears pooling in his eyes, and at one point his legs were shaking so bad, that Lance thought that were going to give out on him. Luckily, they didn’t, but Lance and everyone else in that room saw Keith cry, but he wasn’t the only one. After all of those months of searching, they finally found Shiro. They finally had their leader back, they finally had their friend back. And more importantly, Keith finally had his brother, the only family that he had left back. And hopefully something like this wouldn’t happen again, but no one was going to mention that around Keith anytime soon, if ever, more like never. That sounded better in Lance’s head. Coran was going to leave Shiro hooked up to an IV for a little bit longer before putting him into a pod to take care of any additional injuries that they didn’t find. He shooed everyone out to the room to give Shiro space so that he could rest and that Coran could work. Keith was the last one to leave, and to be honest Lance thought that he would put more of a fight, but the look of exhaustion on his face spoke volumes. He was probably going to pass out at any moment.

Lance ended up trailing Keith back to his room to make sure that Keith didn’t faceplant in the hallway on the way back to his room. Keith had noticed that Lance was following him, but he didn’t really seem to mind, he even slowed down so that they could walk side by side. They didn’t say a single word between them, but they were take glances at the other when they were sure that they weren’t looking. The tension between the two of them has been there since the very beginning, maybe even since their Garrison days. It was quite obvious to everyone but the two of them that they liked each other, and it was more than just on a platonic level at this point. But both of the boys were too scared to look at each other and confess their feelings. Why not? Well, it could be for many different reasons, fear of rejection, abandonment issues, and so on. But one thing is for certain rather they liked it or not, they were ‘fate pairs’ and they were going to spend the rest of their lives being intertwined with each other. They were just going to either have to suck it up and deal with it or grab the bull by the horns and confess. And at the rate that they were going, it was going to take a while.

It didn’t take them long before they were stopping at the door to Keith’s room. “Well,” Lance said. “We’re here.” Keith smiled at him shyly, and bowed his head down. “Yeah, I guess this is my stop.” Keith said. They just stood there and stopped for a few minutes and just stood in silence. “Thank you Lance.” Keith eventually whispered out. And if Lance wasn’t standing right next to him then he wouldn’t have heard him. “What?” Lance asked. He didn’t think that he heard him right the first time. “I said thank you.” Keith said a little bit louder. “Really, I appreciated it.” Lance smiled to himself and laughed a little bit. “No problem man, I know that you would do it for me too if things were reversed.” Lance told him. Keith smiled at him, and man Lance wished that he could see that more often, but what happened next really took him by surprise. All of a sudden he felt a pair of arms wrap around him and squeeze. Lance didn’t do anything for a couple of seconds, until it registered in his head that it was Keith hugging him. Quickly, he hugged back and they stayed like that for about 3 minutes before pulling apart. Keith opened his bedroom door, and brushed a strand of hair behind his ear as he walked in and told Lance goodnight. Lance bid him a goodnight also and found himself still standing outside the door long after it closed shut. Eventually he was able to get his legs to move and he headed back to the lounge to look for Hunk. But he wasn’t the only one who had trouble moving on. As soon as the door shut behind him, Keith leaned back against it and slid down slowly to the floor. He just sat there for he didn’t know how long. Something about that interaction with Lance was making his heart beat so face in his chest that he thought that it was going to explode. And to make matters worse he had a small, stupid smile planted on his face. Even after all of these years, Lance McClain could still get to him like this.

It didn’t take long for Lance to stumble upon his best friend. Hunk was in the kitchen, he was standing over a pot on the stove. Lance wasn’t really sure what he was doing, but he had learned from years of being friends that you don’t sneak up on Hunk when he’s in the zone. So he made sure to clear his throat very loudly, and in the threshold of the room to make sure that Hunk knew he was there before he went further into the room. His best friend still jumped a couple of feet in the air when he heard a noise. And he spun around to face whoever was in the room with him, brandishing a spoon as a weapon. Lance just stood there with wide eyes, altering between staring at his best friend, and the weapon in his hand. Once Hunk realized that it was just Lance he relaxed and lowered the spoon. He held a hand to his heart as a sign of relief, and let out a long sigh. “Whoa, Lance! You scared me half to death!” Hunk told him. Lance just chuckled at him, and smiled. “Sorry Buddy, I cleared my throat extra loud just for you so that you would know that I was there.” Lance told him. “Yeah, sorry man, I got in the zone, and got a little carried away.” He told him. “It’s okay man, I know how you are.”

The two of them just went back to what they were doing not that long after the little jump scare. Hunk went back to cooking and Lance ended up standing next to him watching him cook, and helping where he could. Even though Hunk was the established cooking guru, and was the best chef out of all of them, Lance wasn’t a novice in the kitchen by any means. He was a good cook in his own rights thanks to his mother, who made all of her children learn how to cook so that they could be productive members of society. At least that was what she told them as children when they asked why they had to learn how to cook. The point is, that Lance could cook, and that was one of the reasons that him and Hunk bonded over when they first met. Lance found himself helping Hunk with whatever it was that he was trying to make. He didn’t know what it was exactly that Hunk was making and he never bothered to ask. The two of them fell into a comfortable silence, and a steady rhythm of cooking. This was bringing Lance back to his Garrison days when they used to sneak out at night and go to the kitchens for late night snacks. It was a wonder that they never got caught, but it probably had something to do with the fact that they cleaned up after themselves very well. It was a good stress reliever for them all, and helped Lance to clear his head about everything that was going on at the moment with them. 

“So, not that I don’t mind you helping me or anything,” Hunk started out with. “But is there a reason why you’re in here with me?” Lance took a couple of minutes to plan out how he was going to say his response. “I… I don’t know..” Lance said. “Things have just been crazy these past couple of months.” He told him. Hunk nodded his head and hummed in response. “I hear you man, things have been quite eventful this last little bit.” Hunk said. “To be honest I don’t know what I would have done if it wasn’t for you guys and Shay… Whoop!” Hunk immediately slapped his hands over his mouth once he realized what he had just said. Lance turned his head and cocked an eyebrow at his best friend. “Ooh, did I hear you mention Shay?” Lance teased him. “You two have still kept in contact?” Hunk didn’t say anything at first, but with the way that he had blushed bright red at the mention of the Balmeran girl. Lance knew from the exact moment that he saw Hunk and Shay together that they would end up together. It also helped that after the first time that Hunk went there with Coran, Shay was all that he talked about. But seeing the two of them interact in person was what sealed the deal. They were cute together, and Lance hoped that they survived the war and won so that they could get their happily ever after. “Yeah, um, you know those intergalactic communicators that Pidge built?” Hunk asked. “Yeah, what about them?” Lance questioned. “Well, when we went back to the Balmera the last time Pidge had just finished them and she said that they would work long distances, so I got one and gave it to Shay.” Hunk told him. “We’ve been talking with each other off and on ever since.” “Aaaw, man that’s so cute!” Lance told him as he was chopping up space vegetables to go into whatever it was that Hunk was cooking. “Don’t make such a big deal about it Lance.” Hunk said. “It’s nothing, we’re just friends.” “Yeah, that’s what my Abuela said when she met my Abuelo.” Lance told him. Hunk just rolled his eyes at him and shoved his shoulders.

“Okay, enough about me.” Hunk said. “Is part of the reason that you’re in here is because that you’re worried about a certain hotheaded Black Paladin?” Hunk asked him. And he had that shit eating grin of his on his face. It was the same one that Hunk would have when he was right about something. Since Lance took a while to answer, Hunk’s smile only got bigger. “Yes, I’m worried, but you are too.” Lance told Hunk pointedly. “We’re his friends, of course we’re going to worry about him and his well being.” Hunk just looked at him. “You know that’s not what I mean Lance.” Hunk told him. Lance sighed and stopped what he was doing. He put down the knife and turned around to face his best friend since childhood, and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “ I know what you mean man.” Lance said. “It’s just, .. I don’t even know, I know that what I feel for Keith is more than just platonic feelings.” Lance said. “But, I don’t know what to do with it.” Lance confessed to him. “I know that the easiest way to go about things is to just go and talk to him about it, but I can’t.” “You can’t or you won’t?” Hunk questioned. Lance sighed, to be honest it was a little bit of both. He has thought about confessing to Keith before but the words just always get tangled in his throat. The other reason was Keith’s mental state, he knew that he loved Keith, and that he wanted to be with him, but he knew some of Keith’s past. He knew that Keith had a lot of issues and he was terrified of doing something to harm Keith or push him over the edge accidentally. He knew that Keith used to self-harm, and he was terrified that he would go beyond that if something happened between them and it went wrong. Though he couldn’t tell Hunk that, he hadn’t promised Keith that he wouldn’t say anything, but he didn’t because he wanted Keith to be able to trust him.

Though Lance was still very concerned about Keith, he knew that he had issues and he was scared that Keith was going to act on them. Even though Keith had told him that he was okay, he still worried. He’s had family members who have dealt with mental health issues in the past, and he knows how hard they can be to fight against. He trusted Keith he really did, he knew that if Keith put his mind to something then he was going to do it, but he was terrified that this would be the one thing that set him over the edge. “Um,.. Speaking of Keith..” Lance said. Hunk lifted his head and looked at his best friend. The expression on Hunk’s face made Lance realize that he knew that this was a serious matter. “What about Keith?” Hunk asked, and you could hear the worried lit in his tone. “What’s wrong, I thought you guys were finally getting along?” He asked him. Lance shook his head at him dismissing it. “No, no it has nothing to do with this?” Lance told him. “It’s just,.. How do I put this..?” Lance said out loud. “Keith has issues, he has issues that he hasn’t really talked about to the rest of you guys.” Lance told him. “Shiro knows, and I found out by accident.” He said. “I’m not going to go into too much detail because it’s not my place to say anything.” Lance paused for a few minutes before he looked to Hunk again. And the seriousness in his eyes was enough to make Hunk pay attention to him. “Will you promise me something?” Lance asked him out of the blue. The question caught Hunk off guard a little bit, but nonetheless he nodded his head, giving Lance permission to go on. “Promise me that, if something were to ever happen to me, that you’ll look after Keith for me.” “Yeah man, of course,” Hunk told him. “But, we don’t have to worry about that because nothing is going to happen to either you or Keith.” Hunk told him. And Lance really wanted to believe him, but he’s had this sinking feeling in his stomach ever since they brought Shiro back to the ship. There’s just something not right about it. 

Lance ended up going back to his room not that long afterwards when they were done. Hunk stayed behind to box up what he was cooking and to destress some more by doing his cleaning routine. All the way back to his room he thought about the conversations that he had with both Keith and Hunk today. He felt awful for feeling the way that he did about Shiro’s return, but it just seemed so easy to Lance. But he didn’t have the heart in him to go and tell Keith that. For months Keith had been clinging onto the hope that Shiro was still alive and all that they had to do was find him. Lance saw how desperate he was, and he knew that if they never found Shiro it would devastate Keith and break his heart in the process. He was scared of what Keith would do if that would happen. For now, he’d just keep an eye on things and see what happened. If something was really wrong then, he’d say something and they’d address it with the whole team. But Lance was more than likely just being paranoid about things and there was really nothing for him to worry about. Oh, if Lance only knew what he’d just gotten himself into.


	16. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More insight on Keith's past. Him and Shiro have a little talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're so close. Only a couple of more chapters until the end. I didn't think that this would be as big as it is, so thank you to all of you have have stuck with this until the end. Have a nice day!   
-N.

Chapter 15

Something was wrong with this picture. Now, keep in mind that Keith wasn’t that great at interacting with people and reading social interactions and ques, but even he could tell that something was wrong here with this picture. Shiro was off, to say the least. Out of all of the people on board the Castile ship, Keith had known him the longest, and he could tell that something wasn’t right with his adopted older brother. He was acting off, like there was something wrong. Keith was really worried about him, Shiro really wasn’t eating or drinking anything. He wasn’t really speaking to anyone and was holding himself up in his rooms for all hours of the day. Shiro was basically isolating himself off from everyone else, and didn’t want to see anyone else. Which wasn’t like Shiro at all, and that really unsettled Keith. Sure, Shiro was an introvert and liked to keep to himself just like Keith. And the man has been kidnapped twice by the Garla now, and he’s been through so much that Keith knows that Shiro wouldn’t come out of it the same. And he’s seen Shiro at his worst because of this, but something wasn’t right about this. Something was really different this time, and it made a pit harden and settle in Keith’s stomach. He had to go and talk to Shiro about this. Voltron needed their leader, and it sure wasn’t Keith. 

Keith left his room and headed down the hallway towards Shiro’s room. Once Coran was able to get Shiro stable enough he put him in a pod for a couple of hours and he was out and set up in his room not that long after. And Shiro hasn’t left his room ever since. Keith was worried out of his mind, he’s never seen Shiro that bad before. And it was killing him inside that he couldn’t do more for the man that took him under his wing when he needed his help the most. Shiro has done so much for him over the years that they have known each other, and Keith didn’t feel indebted to him or like he owed him, but he just wanted to help. Shiro took a chance on him, and saw something in him, when all of the others in the world had just left him for dead. The only other person who even tried to help him as much as Shiro was one of his foster mothers. In fact it was the foster mother that he had right before he got shipped off to the group home that he was in when Shiro met him. She was a nice young woman by the name of Gloria Evans. She was nice, and she was a bit older than Shiro was when they met. So that made her about 26 give or take, Keith wasn’t too sure, and he couldn’t remember. She was the only foster mother that Keith loved like his own that loved him back. At one point she even wanted to adopt him! For the longest time, she made Keith feel the happiest that he has ever felt. That was until he came along though, and ruined Keith’s life forever.

One of the only things that Keith didn’t like about living with Gloria was her boyfriend. His name was Roger and he was a mechanic that worked at the local garage in town. He seemed okay to Keith, he was awkward around people so he just thought that all of it was normal. Roger also had this weird obsession with Keith. At first he didn’t think anything of it, he was only 12, he just thought that the guy liked him and wanted to get along with him because he was going out with his foster mom. So Keith indulged him, he went to the park, and played ball with him. Everything seemed normal to him, or as normal as Keith thinks it is. Though the way that he used to look and stare at him. It made Keith uncomfortable, but Gloria really liked this guy so he kept his mouth shut to make her happy, because he loved Gloria. And things were okay between the three of them, when Gloria started talking about adopting him, they even made plans for Roger to move in with them after the papers were finalized. Though everything changed one night.

Even though Roger didn’t live with him, he’d spend the night over a lot. At first it just started out as a regular sleep-over, they ordered in pizza and watched a couple of movies, which Keith had gotten to pick out. After that was over Keith went to bed while Gloria and Roger stayed up a little bit later and had ‘adult time’ as Gloria liked to call it. Keith rolled his eyes at that when she tucked him in that night, because he knew that was just a codeword for them getting drunk and having sex. And he told that much, Gloria rolled her eyes and smacked him on the arm before kissing the top of his head. She got up, turned off the lights and closed the door as she walked out of the room. Keith fell asleep that night like normal, he was in a deep sleep when he heard it. Even though Keith does have the ability to sleep like a rock, more likely than not he’s a light sleeper. And because of that he was able to hear his door open, and someone walked into the room. Keith had a strange feeling about it, but didn’t think anything of it. He thought that it was just Gloria coming in to check on him like she normally does throughout the night but will deny it in the morning when Keith confronts her about it. He was getting ready to go back to sleep when he felt it. Someone had climbed onto his bed, on top of him and was moving to pin him down. That set Keith off like that. He snapped open his eyes and saw Roger holding him down. Keith didn’t know what to think at first, but when he could smell the alcohol on his breath he knew that things were about to get bad. But the first thing that he was worried about was Gloria. He knew the women well enough to know that she would never let anything like this happen to him. So this made Keith wonder what Roger had done to her to get her out of the way.

Keith was still debating what he was going to do when he felt Roger move one of his hands and place it down his sweatpants that he wore to bed that night. And that was when Keith freaked out. He started struggling, kicking, biting, and screaming at Roger to get off of him and to leave him alone. The more that Keith fought back against him, the stronger that Roger seemed to be. Keith knew that he was drunk, and that people who are drunk usually tend to be more lax in their judgements and give into their desires. And this just made him not want to drink even more than he did already. Keith also knew that Gloria wasn’t a big fan of alcohol and that she didn’t like the fact that Roger liked to drink, a lot. But neither one of them would mention it to him, since they didn’t want to get into a fight with him. He fought and fought and all that would go through his mind was that he and Gloria were going to die, that is if she wasn’t dead already. Keith felt like crying, he was scared for his life. 

Keith wasn’t able to stop Roger from violating him fully, it was awful and all through it Keith just wanted to die. Right when he thought that death was knocking at his door to either take him to Hell or to be with his Dad was when Gloria came in. She busted down the door, and started yelling at Roger to get the “Hell off of my son!” Keith looked over at her with relief in his eyes. Gloria had a knife in one hand and a big ass metal baseball bat in the other. She came prepared to do whatever it took to protect him and save him. And her plan worked somewhat, Roger jumped off of him and ran over to get Gloria. She swung the bat and tried so hard to stab him, but Roger was too strung and too drunk for her to fight off alone. And Keith could see the bruises and a black eye start to form on Gloria’s body. He must have knocked her up and tried to tie her up to get her out of the way. Lucky for Keith, Gloria was able to get Roger away from him before he could do some serious harm to him. Unlucky for Gloria, she was able to get Roger away from Keith. 

Sadly, Gloria didn’t make it out of the ordeal alive. Roger was able to grab both the knife and the bat from Gloria and used them on her. Keith, even though he was terrified about what had just happened to him, he wasn’t going to let Gloria fight the bastard alone. He got out of his bed, even though it hurt and charged at Roger, It didn’t do him a lot of good though, since Roger turned and swung the bat at him. The last thing that Keith felt was absolute agony before he blacked out. When he came to the first time he was in the ambulance, there was a paramedic and a detective standing over top of him, when they noticed that he was awake they tried talking to him, but Keith couldn’t hear a word that they were saying. He wanted Gloria, he wanted to make sure that she was okay and that Roger didn’t hurt her too bad. Before he could ask any questions though he drifted back off. The second time that he woke up he was in the hospital. And the same detective that was with him in the ambulance, along with his social worker were there in the room with him. By the time that they noticed that he was awake the doctor had walked into the room. That was when they started asking him questions. What did he remember? How did he feel? And other stuff like that, which got on Keith’s nerves fairly quickly. He answered all of their questions, but he just wanted to know where Gloria was and if she was okay. When he was finally able to get a word in edgewise, he asked them. And by the way that all of them just paled at the mention he knew that the news wasn’t good.

Roger had knocked Gloria out and tied her up before going into Keith’s room that night. What Roger didn’t expect though was for Gloria to wake up and free herself and dial 911 before arming herself to go and try to save Keith. By the time that help had gotten there, they found Gloria on Keith’s bedroom floor covered in blood, bruises and knife wounds, unresponsive. And Roger was standing overtop of Keith’s body with the knife raised in his hand. They arrested Roger, but when they tried to get him into the squad car he broke free from the cuffs. He tried to run and grab another deputy’s gun. He was shot point blank to the chest and had died on the way to the hospital. The funeral for Gloria was scheduled for when Keith got released from the hospital. Gloria was an orphan like Keith so the only ones in attendance besides him were the police department and the social worker. It was a very sad day for everyone, especially Keith, and he just wished that it wasn’t her, anyone but her. Keith was the only survivor, and he was devastated, and when the social worker told Keith that he had to go to another group home he wished that he would have died that night. 

Keith was able to shake himself from his memories when he reached Shiro’s door. He paused and stood outside for he didn’t know how long. He wasn’t sure why he was so apprehensive about this, it was just Shiro. Though him thinking of past trauma on his way here probably wasn’t the best thing to have been doing. It was in the past now, and he needed to let go. But at that time, when he was forced into therapy until he had snapped so much at the poor doctor that they had to remove him. This was the incident that had pushed him over the edge to self-harm. And that led him to the state that he was in when Shiro found him about a year or so later. So in a way, it was connected to him, just not directly. But he needed to get his head back on straight and go deal with the problem at hand here.

Part of the reason that Keith was going to see Shiro was to talk to him about the Team. Ever since he’s gotten back, he hasn’t left his room once. And, Keith knows that he needed to stay in bed for a while to finish healing, and he can remember Coran threatening to handcuff him to the bed if he had to. But, once he was told that he could walk around some, he just didn’t. And that wasn’t like Shiro at all. And then there was the one time that Pidge mentioned him going back to black and he just sort of snapped at her. He apologized to her for it, but it just wasn’t in character for Shiro to behave that way. Keith knew that there was something wrong with his brother and he was going to get to the bottom of it. He wasn’t going to let Shiro end up like Gloria if he could help to put a stop to it. He’d do anything for it, even if it killed him.

Hesitantly, Keith knocked on the door. He waited a few minutes to see if Shiro had heard him before he tried again. After a couple of minutes Keith heard a faint “Come in.” He took that as he cue to open the door and enter the room. Stepping into the room and letting the door close shut behind him, and he realized just how dark it was in the room. Even though Keith had fairly good eyesight for a human, (He now knows that it’s because he’s part Garla) he still had to squint to see in the dark room. Making his way over to the bed he saw a big lump underneath the covers, that he hoped was Shiro. Quietly he sat down and held his breath. He didn’t really think ahead past this part, so he was a little bit lost at what he was supposed to do now with his brother. Shiro was always the one that knew what to do to help someone and would just do it automatically, that was just how he acted, especially with Keith. And now that their roles were reversed Keith didn’t know what to do with himself. So, he just sat there, he felt stupid, but he knew that some people just took comfort in the fact that someone was there with them in their time of need. He hoped that this was helping Shiro out, any, if at all.

Hearing the sheets rustle and shift, Keith turned his attention to Shiro as he was moving around in the bed. Keith got up and helped Shiro so that he could sit up in the bed. Once Shiro was settled, Keith moved back to where he was sitting on the edge of the bunk. He waited for Shiro before he said anything. “What are you doing here Keith?” Shiro asked him in a tired tone. He sounded exhausted and he didn’t look that much better than he sounded in Keith’s opinion, but he wasn’t going to mention that. “I just came to check on you.” Keith told him. “I’m worried, so sue me.” Shiro snorted at that comment. ‘Good’ Keith thought to himself, he let a small smile come to his face, that sounded like the old Shiro that he knew. “If I knew that all that it took was for you to get worried, was for me to get kidnapped twice by an evil alien dictator that could give Hitler a run for his money, I would have done it much sooner.” Shiro jokes. Keith rolled his eyes at his brother and picked up a stray pillow and threw it at him, softly. “Hey, watch it ! I’m injured.” Shiro defended himself. “Shut up.” Keith said instead. “ I know that I don’t show it a lot but I do worry about you guys.” He admitted softly. “Aww,” Shiro said. “You do care.” He teased. “And now you sound like Lance.” Keith told him. And that was when both of them broke out into laughter with each other.

Smiling, Shiro reached over and ruffled Keith’s hair with his human hand. Keith ducked out of the way to try and avoid it but it was futile. “I am glad to see you though.” Shiro said. “I get pretty lonely in here.” “Well, if you would leave your room every now and again I’m sure that it wouldn’t be that way.” Keith told him. Shiro just sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I know, I know, I’m starting to turn into you.” Shiro teased. “It’s just hard for me to get out there and face them.” Shiro said. “I feel like a failure for abandoning you guys in your time of need, and it just fills with me with large amounts of anxiety whenever I try to leave.” He confessed. “I don’t know how you’ve dealt with it for so long Keith.” “Just got used to it I guess.” Keith mused. “Though things did get better for me when I met you.” Keith told him. “Being around you made me realize that I could do anything in the world if I put my mind to it and was patient enough.” Keith laughed. “I need to work on that last part, but I’ve got the determination down pat.” That even got Shiro laughing at him. “I know you Keith.” Shiro said. “ I know that I’m living proof of the fact that when you put your mind to something you can accomplish anything.” Shiro told him. “I’m glad that you found me.” “I’m glad that I found you too.” Keith told him. And he didn’t even realize that he was crying until Shiro wrapped him up in his arms. And Keith just ended up bawling into his arms for a good little bit.

Once Keith was able to compose himself, they got down to business. He asked Shiro when he was going to go back to Black. And another long conversation later, Keith was able to convince him to at least try and see if they’d let him back in. Voltron needed it’s leader and Keith was just a temporary replacement until Shiro came back. After their conversation, Keith headed out to let Shiro get some more rest and went back to his own room. On the way back, Keith felt so much lighter and at the same time so much heavier than when he first went into the room. He doesn’t know why he feels like this. He should be happy, he’s supposed to be happy, Shiro’s finally back and then everything is supposed to be going back to normal. But there’s something about this, that just doesn’t set right with him at the moment. Keith wasn’t really sure if he should act on it or not, but he knew that this feeling wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. He figured that if it’s still bugging him after a couple of more weeks, then he’d go to Lance about his concerns. He knew that he could always count on Lance to trust his instincts and all of these weird feelings that he has. Oh, well, he’s had a very long week, scratch that, he’s had a very long couple of months, and all that he wanted to do was sleep. So he just went to his room and crashed on his bed, with his boots still on. He would deal with everything else after he’s had some sleep, he needed it.


	17. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance talk, and discuss some important things. And Keith comes to some conclusions about what he has to do to make everyone happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update?! I know, I' surprised too! But we're still in the homestretch here people. But don't worry the fun's not over yet. Stay tunned, because things are going to get angsty these last couple of chapters. And things get a little bit skectchy in either this chapter or last chapter for Keith. We get a little bit more insight on his childhood and time in the foster system, things get a little bit graphic either way, so you have been warned. Have a nice day, night, whatever time zone you're in!   
-N.

Chapter 16

Keith was frustrated, to say the very least. Ever since they’ve gotten Shiro back, things have been tense, for lack of a better term. Shiro’s been unusual ever since they convinced him to leave his room. They tried to get him to go and work with Black, but the one time that he tried he got rejected, and never went back. So, he’s resided himself to be extra help on the ship with Coran since Allura’s in Blue now. And normally Keith wouldn’t mind, he’s always gone to Shiro for advice and guidance when he needed it. Now was not one of those times. Lately, it seems like everything that Keith does is wrong. Every decision that he makes, Shiro buts in over the comms and undermines him until they do what he wants. And Keith knows that Shiro is just trying to help and he doesn’t want them dead. And that part of the reason that he’s so hard on him right now is that he’s like a little brother to Shiro. He just wants Keith and everyone else safe and not make themselves an even bigger target for the Garla than they already are. But when they’re trying to track down Lotor, so that they can figure out his plans and stop him and bring peace to the universe, it gets a little bit annoying. Don’t get him wrong though, Keith loves his brother, he really does, he owes Shiro his everything. But at the moment he really wanted to bash his older brother’s brains into a concrete cement wall. HARD. Shiro was the one who wanted him to take over and now that he has, he’s treating Keith like he was the biggest screw to ever exist and that he was disappointed in him. It was driving him mad, but he couldn’t, or more like wouldn’t stand up for himself against the older male.

And to top things off, Keith’s also been helping Kolivan and the Blade by going on missions with them. He’s been running himself ragged for weeks, and it was beginning to take its toll on him. And to make matters worse he hasn’t been sleeping at all either, His insomnia has been acting up again and with a new vengeance. Every time that he has laid down to go to sleep, his brain is suddenly wide awake and can’t turn off. So, he’s just given up at this point and spends his nights training and planning missions and doing research on future allies to make up for his lack of being there and lack of leadership. So far he’s pretty sure that no one has noticed at all, and if they have then they don’t comment on it. Most likely it was because of the fact that he’s established himself as a workaholic ever since they’ve come to space. And over the past couple of months his work schedule could rival that of Shiro’s, it was that bad. He knew that he had bitten off more than he could chew, and he knew it, but he didn’t know what else to do. One of the only people that Keith actually felt comfortable confiding in was acting pissed off at him all the time. And then there was Lance, but he couldn’t do that to him.

Lance has come to know more about his past and medical history than Keith cares to admit. And even though they’re “fate pairs” or whatever, things are still rather awkward between each other. And part of that reason was that they still haven’t explained to Shiro what happened to them on planet Mooie Juweeltje and the fact that Keith can get pregnant. He knows that they should have informed Shiro the minute that he woke up, but he just couldn’t. Even though Shiro and Keith act like they’re related, there’s still this awkwardness between the two of them when it comes to intimate details of their personal lives. Keith had a panic attack and a full scale mental breakdown when he came out to Shiro and told him that he was gay. And he knew that he had nothing to worry about because Shiro himself was also gay. But it still didn’t settle the anxiety that was coiled up tightly in his stomach like a snake, just waiting for the right chance to strike out. That had been a very emotional and taxing conversation for Keith at the time. He still couldn’t get over that, even today. Man, he really needed to sleep.

Since he couldn’t sleep and he was told that he couldn’t use the training room per Shiro and Lance’s orders. They had both figured out that Keith was working himself to the point of exhaustion. And it didn’t help that earlier in the week, he had come in late to a mission and Allura had bitten his head off. He was so distraught, from watching one of his fellow blades die right in front of him, to Allura yelling at him, he had gone and trained so much that he had collapsed from exhaustion during the middle of the simulation. He was lucky that Pidge had come in when she did to run some upgrades on the simulator’s control system or else the gladiator would have killed him, just like Roger almost did all those years ago. She was able to stop the gladiator and pulled Keith out of the room and took him to the med bay. Where he proceeded to get an earful from both Shiro and Lance about testing his limits and what not. Keith ended up with only a couple of bruises and went to his room to try and sleep. Which didn’t happen at all, so he was stuck at square one, yet again.

Which led Keith to where he was now, in his room late at night, sharpening and cleaning his Marmora Blade. He was just lost in his own little world until he heard a loud knock at his door. He jumped at the sound and almost fell off of his bed with the loud noise. Putting his knife down by his side Keith got up to go and see who was at his door. When he opened it, he saw that it was Lance. All of a sudden Keith felt very selfconscienceness about himself. Since it was late at night and Keith was alone in his room, and wasn’t expecting any company at that time, he didn’t have his jacket on. His normal jacket that he wore all the time, partially to cover up all of his old scars from when he cut. And he stupidly left them on full view for Lance to see. Keith moved to cover his arms and Lance cleared his throat to get his attention. Keith’s eyes shot up to meet Lance’s and Lance could see the fear that was held in him. “Don’t worry about it man.” Lance told him softly. “I’m not here to judge you..” He said. “I just came to talk to you Keith, I promise.” Lance said, placing a hand over his heart. Keith looked into his eyes for a couple of minutes, and Lance held his gaze. Once Keith was sure that Lance was being honest he nodded his head. “Okay.” Keith said. “Come in then.” Keith motioned for Lance to enter his room. Lance walked in and stood in the middle of the room. As the door shut behind Keith as he came back in he joined Lance in his spot. The two of them just stood there and watched each other for a couple of moments before one of them was able to break the silence. 

“So,..” Lance started out. Keith looked up to meet Lance’s eyes and even though Lance will never say this out loud for fear of Keith killing him, but he liked the fact that Keith was a little bit shorter than him. Lance thought that it made Keith look absolutely adorable. “So,...?” Keith asked in a very soft and timid voice. “What did you want to talk about?” Keith asked him. Lance raised one of his hands and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Well,.. “ Lance said. “I don’t really know how to put this..” He said. And Keith stood there before him, waiting, one thing that he learned about being a leader of a team in the last little bit was that he couldn’t always make things go his way. Sometimes he just had to wait and let things and people come to him with their problems so that he could help him. “I’m here,” Keith started out. “I’m here for you if you need me Lance.” Keith told him. “Just, tell me when you’re ready.” And there was something in Lance’s eyes that Keith couldn’t really read, but he let it go in favor of helping his friend. Lance was more important and was his main priority now.

“We have 6 Paladins now that Shiro’s back.” Lance told him like that solved all of the world’s problems. Well whatever problems they were, Keith didn’t know about it and needed some clarification. “Yeah, and ?” Keith asked him. Lance sighed and looked at Keith like he was the biggest idiot in the world. “We have 6 Paladins and 5 Lions.” Lance told him. “If I did my math correctly and I’m pretty sure that I did, it means that we have too many Paladins and not enough Lions to fly with all of them.” And that was when it dawned on Keith. No. No, no Keith was not going to let Lance do what he thought that he was going to do. He had to put a stop to this, he had to. “What are you getting at Lance?” Keith asked him instead. He had to work this from a different angle if he wanted everything to go right. “Really Keith?” Lance questioned him. “Isn’t that obvious?” Keith could tell that Lance was getting a little annoyed with him, but he had to do this. “I don’t know Lance,” Keith told him. “Why don’t you spell it all out for me?” Lance huffed but continued to talk anyway. “What I’m trying to get at here is that I’m willing to step down.” Lance said. “I’m ready to step down from Red and not be a Paladin anymore.” And that was when Keith felt his heart break. 

“Why?” Keith asked him. This didn’t sound like the Lance that he knew and knew that there was more to this than what he could see on the surface. “I thought that you loved being a Paladin?” Keith asked him. “You just can’t quit on us now.” Keith was trying very hard to remain calm during this conversation, this was Lance he couldn’t lose his cool with Lance. “I’m not quitting on you.” Lance told him. “I’m doing all of you a favor.” “Oh really, how?” Keith asked him. “Well,” Lance said. “For one, Shiro’s back now, and we’ve finally got him back on good terms with Black.” Keith nodded at that. “Which means that he’ll want Black back, which means that you’ll have to go back to Red.” Lance told him. “And normally I would go back to blue, but I can’t.” Lance said. “I can’t do that to her Keith.” He told him. “I can’t take away one of the only things that she has left of her father, it just wouldn’t be right.” And Keith knew where he was coming from. When his dad died, he lost everything that he had of him in one fell swoop. And it devastated him, he could only imagine what it would feel like for Allura to go through the same thing. Even though the two of them really aren’t that close he wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone, not even Zarkon himself. “But that doesn’t mean that you have to leave.” Keith told him. And the look that Lance gave him set everything in stone.

“Someone has to go Keith.” Lance told him. “And I can’t ask anyone of you guys to step down.” And those words that Lance just said, really stuck with Keith. He knew what he would have to do now to fix everything. Looking back up, Keith just realized how close the two of them actually were to each other. Coming into this realization, Keith thought that his heart was going to beat right out of his chest with how fast it was going. He was really hoping that Lance hadn’t noticed the slight blush that he was sure was dusting his cheeks, if they weren’t already bright red. “But that doesn’t mean that person has to be you.” Keith told him softly. “You don’t have to leave Lance.” Keith told him as he got closer. And at this point they were basically standing chest to chest. “How are we supposed to fix this then?” Lance asked him quietly. “Don’t worry about this Lance.” Keith told him. “We’ll figure out a way Lance don’t worry.” Keith told him. The two of them stood like that for a couple of more minutes before they pulled apart. “Well, I guess I better go to bed then.” Lance said. And Keith nodded his head. “Yeah, it’s late I guess that we both better go to bed then.” Keith told him. Lance nodded his head and moved to leave the room. “Goodnight Keith.” Lance told him. “Goodnight Lance.” Keith told him. Just as Lance was about ready to get out of the door, Keith called for him again and paused. “And Lance?” Keith asked him. “Yeah?” “Leave the math to Pidge.” Keith told him with a smirk on his face. Lance smiled and laughed. And Keith felt his heart melt at that. He knew what he had to do now.

Once Keith was absolutely sure that Lance and everyone else on the ship was asleep he snuck out of his room. He silently made his way all the way down to the bridge. Checking to make sure that no one had woken up and followed him, Keith went to Allura’s spot. He was able to get up a message link to one of the Marmoran Bases that they kept in contact with. He just hoped that the person that he was looking for was on base at the time. He waited, and waited, and after about 20 minutes he finally got someone on the line. He took a deep breath while the call was finishing coming in and setting itself up so that they could talk and not be traced by anyone. Even though he was terrified out of his mind about what he was getting ready to do, he knew that it was the right thing. He was doing this for his Team, his family. Keith was doing this for Lance. He knew that Lance would gladly step down from his spot, but he knew that he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let Lance give up now. He just couldn’t.

He told himself that he was doing this because it was the right thing to do. He was a horrible leader for the Team. Almost every single decision that he has ever made while he was in command had put one of his Teammates in grave danger. And a couple of times they almost lost one of them. Every other decision was compromised or undermined by Shiro. Even though Shiro trusted him, and thought that he could handle it, he was wrong. Keith wasn’t the right person for this job. Lance, Allura, especially Allura, were the ones who were qualified enough and emotionally and mentally stable enough to be able to do the job and do it right. Every adult in Keith’s life was right about him after all. He was a delinquent, with anger management issues, and a screw up who would never learn from his mistakes. All that he was good for in his life was holding a place in some state facility because he couldn’t keep his temper in check enough and someone got hurt. Keith spent his whole life just about trying to prove all of them wrong, he thought that Gloria and Shiro were right about him. The two of them thought that everyone was wrong about him. They saw a good kid, with a big heart, who was just being screwed over by the system as he fell through all the cracks known to man. But they were wrong, he’s a screwed up kid, who isn’t good for anything, and he’s better off if he’s out of the way. This was better for everyone.

Though he knew better than that. He knew that the real reason that he was doing this was for Lance. He told Lance that he would find some way to fix all of this, and he was going to. This was his solution to the problem. Instead of Lance leaving, he’d just leave. The Team was better off without him, everyone else is irreplaceable except for him. One of the things that he learned from his time with the Blades was that everyone was expendable, and that included him. He didn’t want to leave them all behind, but he had to do this. Keith was doing this to protect Lance from having to step down. Lance was too important to them, Hell, Lance was too important to him for him to let him go off and do this. So he was going to stop it right now. He loved Lance McClain with all of his heart and even if this sounds absolutely absurd he would do anything for that boy. Lance deserves the world, no, the universe in Keith’s opinion, and he’d do his best to give it to him, no matter what the cost is. Keith was so lost in his thoughts that he jumped a little bit when the call finally went through. And he was met with the person that he wanted to see. “Kolivan.” Keith said. “It is nice to see you again Keith.” He greeted curtly. “What is it that I can do for you and Team Voltron.” The older Garlan male asked him. Keith shook his head at him. “No, no, it’s nothing to do with Voltron.” Keith told him. Kolivan raised an eyebrow at him, but waited to hear what Keith had to say. “I’ve been thinking a lot about your proposal.” Keith told him. He didn’t miss the way that Kolvian’s interest seemed to peek at that. “Oh, and what have you come to as a conclusion?” He asked him. “I’ll do it.” Keith told him. “I’ll join the Blade full time and leave Voltron.” This was it, this was the right thing for him to do. He was keeping his promise to Lance to fix all of this and set things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger! I know, don't worry I hate it when authors do the exact same thing, but it'd be no fun if I just gave everything in one chapter. And as the saying goes, things will get way, way worse before they get better. But hey, at least we got to see Kolivan pop in for a little bit at the end. Stay safe everyone.   
-N.


	18. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk and Keith talk. And promises are made and secrets are brought to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Easiest way to say any warnings is that Hunk knows all. There is a vague mention of child abuse, but it plays into background info that I made up on Hunk and Keith. Don't worry, it's angsty, but not that angsty. But you have been warned. Have a nice night. I really need to stop posting late at night. Anyway, enjoy!   
-N.

Chapter 17

Keith has been on edge ever since his late night conversation with Kolivan. He had stayed up late that night cycle on the ship discussing the details of his departure. Kolivan said that they would hone in on the Castle of Lions’s locations and come to pick him up within a movement. So that meant he had about a week to pack up all of his things, and say his goodbye or change his mind and no one would ever have to know. But he knew that he had to do this, and that there was no turning back now. That night after he had hung up with Kolivan, Keith had snuck back into his room, he double checked on his way back to make sure that no one woke up. Keith still couldn’t sleep, so he got to work on packing all of his things up that he’ll need to take with him. Which wasn’t really a lot to be honest. All of them came out into space with nothing, but while everyone else has been collecting things along the way, but Keith didn’t. He knew part of that reason was all of his time in the system, where he was moved from place to place, and every time that he’d settle in he’d be moved. Subconsciously, he still felt like that with the Team even though they have been around each other long enough to feel like they were a real family. But he couldn’t get rid of all that emotional baggage like that and start over brand new. 

At some point Keith did end up crashing in the middle of the night. When he woke up hours later he was on the floor of his room, tangled up in the blanket from his bed. He had no idea how he ended up in this position, but he wasn’t in the mood to go and look into it further. Keith was able to get up from the floor and moved to go and make up his bed. Cleaning and making sure that everything was neat and tidy was one of the things that helped Keith calm down. After finding out about his carrier status, Keith went and did some more research into it. He found that most all of Garlan carriers were very territorial, and liked to ‘nest.’ Which meant that they liked their areas clean, homey, and smelling like their families, or their ‘pack.’ And that explained a lot about Keith’s behaviors, and how sometimes he just went nuts when things got too chaotic around him. From all of the research that he did, he found that carriers needed a sense of stability in their lives, a routine, especially in their younger years for them to grow up without any problems or behavioral issues. And everything just clicked inside Keith’s mind when he read that. It explains why he had so many issues with his foster families and being moved around so much between homes and group homes. It meant that he wasn’t a trouble maker, or delinquent, he just couldn’t handle all of the changes, and no one at the time was really willing to help him out.

He ended up spending most of the day locked up in his room. Keith wasn’t really hungry, and he had a bathroom attached to his room, so he didn’t need to leave. He knew that the reason that he wasn’t going out was because he was nervous. He knew that if he went out there right now, and faced all of them that he would spill his guts right then and there. He didn’t want to see the disappointed looks until he absolutely had too, he knew that he couldn’t live with the guilt for that long. So he wasn’t planning on telling anyone until either the day of or the day before he leaves. He knows that it sounds bad, and that the rest of the Team deserve better than that, but every time he tries to go and talk about it, his words just get stuck in his throat. It’s like that he can’t talk and the more that he tries to push them out of the way, the harder that it is for him to breathe. And before he knows it, he’s on the floor of his room in the middle of a huge panic attack. So, he’s going to do this his way, even if it may be seen as the coward’s way out, that’s the only way that he can do it. He just hopes that they all have it in him to forgive him for this, even though he doesn’t deserve it. He knows that if the positions were reversed then he knew that he would probably be way less forgiving.

Later that evening, Keith finally worked up the courage to leave his room. He still moved his head to check both ways to see if there was anyone else out. He knew that this was a little over the top at the moment, but he was really trying to avoid all of the Team that he could. The one person that he was trying to avoid the most was Lance. He knew that if the Cuban male cornered him, Keith would be spilling his guts in a matter of seconds. And that was a whole other can of worms that Keith really wasn’t too into opening at the moment, if ever at all. So Lance was a big no no for him. But there was one certain Paladin that he needed to find and talk to before he left. Even though Keith wasn’t as close to him as he was to either Shiro or Lance but he was one that Keith could trust completely. He knew that Hunk was a good man, and a good friend. He’s been Lance’s best friend and confidant for years, and Lance always brags about Hunk’s listening skill and his good heart. Keith knew that he could go and talk to Hunk and confide in him some things that he’s been meaning to get off of his chest, and ask a really huge favor. Hunk wouldn’t judge him or make fun of him for what’s on his mind and the way that he has trouble expressing his feelings through words or at all. He just had to track him down and find him first. Keith just hopes that this doesn’t turn out to be one of those easier said than done situations.

Luck did seem to be on Keith’s side that night. He went into the kitchen that night, and there was the man that he was looking for. Hunk had his back turned to him, so he couldn’t see that he wasn’t alone anymore. And Keith remembers Lance mentioning that if he ever had to talk to Hunk while he was cooking he had to announce his presence to him before getting close. When Keith had asked him why, Lance had told him that Hunk tends to get in his ‘Zone’ when he’s cooking and he kind of tends to forget that the rest of the world exists. So, unless he wanted Hunk to try and stab him with a wooden spoon when he’d be inevitably scared when Keith came in either way, he needed to make sure that he knew him somewhat. Keith gave it a good couple of minutes before he decided to let Hunk know that he was here with him. Keith hesitantly cleared his throat, which he hoped was loud enough to get Hunk’s attention. And Lance was right, even though he did clear his throat to let him know that he was there, Hunk still jumped about 3 feet in the air. He spun around to see who was with him now, and he was brandishing a whisk as a weapon. Keith had just stood there frozen in his spot. He didn’t quite know what to do in situations like this, so he just stood there. The two of them just stared at each other for a couple of minutes before Hunk relaxed and lowered his weapon of choice. Once he did that, Keith let himself relax too. He needed to talk to Hunk and even though he’s terrified and anxious right now, it has to be done.

“Oh Keith!” Hunk said in a relieved voice. He had placed one of his hands, the one not holding the whisk and just sunk in on himself. “It’s just you, I thought we were under attack!” Hunk said with a laugh. Keith gave him a small smile at that. He’s never been one who could do small talk well, if at all. Needless to say that Keith was way out of his element here. “Do you need something?” Hunk’s voice snapped him out of his head and he jerked back to the presence. “Huh?” Keith asked him. “I asked if you need anything.” Hunk told him. “You haven’t been out of your room all day.” He said. “We were kind of worried, but Shiro said that you probably crashed, and were finally asleep so he told us not to bug you.” Keith nodded his head at that, yeah it sounded like Shiro to just let him sleep and he probably came into his room, or would stand outside of his door periodically to make sure that he was okay. “Yeah,” Keith said. “I, uh, um I crashed at some point in the night and woke up a while ago I think.” Keith told him. Hunk nodded his head in confirmation of him hearing him. He turned back around to whatever he was cooking on the stove. “What are you making?” Keith asked him. He was really trying to make small talk with him. It wasn’t going that well. 

“Oh, I’m trying to make cookies.” Hunk told him. “Do you want to help?” Keith hesitated for a moment before he was able to answer him. “Sure, uh I’ll help.” Keith told him as he walked back up behind Hunk. The next couple of minutes were spent with Hunk instructing Keith on what to do with the dough that he had made and how to roll the door. It wasn’t long before they had rolled all of the dough and placed it on the tray which Hunk had slipped into the oven. They then spent the next 15 minutes cleaning up in silence. Once that was done all that they had left to do was to wait for the cookies to be done. “So.” Hunk said. “You never did answer me.” Keith tensed up a little bit at that, he knew that he specifically sought out Hunk himself to talk, but it was hard for him to ask for help, even when he knew that he really needed it. “Um,... I..” Keith started. “I, I just wanted to talk..” Keith said softly. “That is if you don’t mind! I know that you’re probably busy or tired, maybe, maybe I should just go..” Keith trailed off as Hunk grabbed his wrist to keep him from leaving and moved to pull him into one of the kitchen stools. Hunk ended up taking the one right in front of him and he looked absolutely serious about what he was about to do. And that was when Keith knew that he was done for. 

“I’m not busy.” Hunk told him. “Despite the fact that Lance tells everyone that I’m his best friend in the whole universe and that no one can compare for either of us, I still like all of you.” He told Keith. He went on to clarify when he saw the perplexed look that Keith was giving him. “The point that I’m trying to make here Keith, is this, if you need to talk to someone I”m here for you.” Hunk told him. “You’re my friend too Keith.” Keith nodded and took in a shaky breath. He ran his hands through his hair, which was a nervous habit of his that he has. “Well, um I wanted to talk.” Keith said in a hoarse voice. “Okay, that’s fine, we have time and we still have to wait for the cookies to bake.” Hunk told him. Keith actually kind of liked talking to Hunk. The Yellow Paladin was a good listener, you could tell that he was worried about you, but he didn’t push and he let you set the pace of the conversation. “Part of the reason that I came to you was because you’re Lance’s best friend.” Keith told him. “And that makes you the only person that I could ever talk to about this.” Hunk nodded his head at him in understanding. “So does this mean that you’re finally going to confess that you’re in love with him?” Hunk asked him. Keith choked on his own spit at that. 

“What?” Keith asked once he was able to breathe again. “Oh, sorry I thought that you had finally worked up the nerve to confess to Lance that you’re in love with him so that you two could finally stop pinning about each other.” Hunk apologized. “I didn’t mean to freak you out or to make you nervous.” Keith shook his head. “It’s okay Hunk, don’t worry about it man.” Keith told him. “You didn’t know.” At some point Hunk had gone to get him a glass of water, and had put it down in front of him. He grabbed the glass and took a sip of it. “I have a question for you though.” Keith asked him. “That’s not related to the original question that I came here to ask you for.” “Sure, shoot.” Hunk told him. “Am I that obvious?” Keith asked. “Do you really want to know the answer to that?” Hunk asked him. “That answers it then.” Keith said, embarrassed. He groaned and buried his head in his hands. “Does Lance suspect anything?” He asked through his hands. Luckily Hunk has done this enough with Lance to be able to decipher the words. Hunk shook his head. “No, now don’t get me wrong, I love Lance. He's my best friend.” Hunk told him. “But the guy can be so dense about things it’s not funny, and this is one of those things.” He told him. “Don’t worry, your secrets are still kept and they’re safe with me. “ He told Keith with a pat on the back. That got Keith to raise his head and give Hunk a small smile. “Besides.” Hunk told him. “Coran, Pidge and I have a bet going, and currently it looks like I’m winning,” Hunk said. “I’m not going to ruin that.” Keith groaned and put his head back in his hands. He really needs to learn to hide his feelings better. 

The two of them spent the next little bit talking about anything and everything. In all of the time that they’ve been in space with each other for a while now, and Keith had realized that they didn’t really know each other that well. They talked a lot about Hunk’s family and their childhood and stories from their Garrison days. And Keith knew that Hunk was a good guy who could never hurt a fly, but he didn’t really know him. Keith was proud to be serving and fighting with Hunk in this galactic war, and talking to him made Keiht’s nerves calm down some. And this just solidified the fact Hunk was the right person for him to be talking to right now. That he was positively sure of. In the middle of their conversation the timer on the oven went off and Hunk got up to go and get the cookies out of the oven. Which left Keith alone to his thoughts for a couple of moments. He knew that he had to tell Hunk now, he was running out of time to do this. He needed to ask Hunk this huge favor before he found out that he was leaving and hate him for it. Seeing Hunk walk back over to the island, a plate of cookies in his hands, Keith knew that it was now or never. 

“Alright, here’s the cookies.” Hunk said as he came over and sat back down on his stool. “Be careful though, they’re still really hot since they came out of the oven.” He said. “So be careful before you take a bite, you might want to let them cool off for a second or so.” Keith nodded his head, and took another sip of his water. In all honesty he wasn’t really that hungry anymore. A big indicator that his anxiety is acting up is him refusing food. Well, not really refusing food, but he’d get so nauseous that he couldn’t eat. Or he’d get so hyper that he’d forget about food and hunger in general. He had to get this done and over with before he threw up over Hunk. “Um, Hunk?” Keith asked. Hunk made a noise indicating that he heard him and motioned for him to continue. Keith took a deep breath before he started talking again, he needed all the help that he could get. “Um,..Can I ask you a huge favor?” Keith asked him timidly. He raised his eyes to gage Hunk’s reactions. If Hunk was bothered by the question he didn’t show, he just seemed confused that Keith would ask something of him. He knew that the two of them weren’t particularly close with one another even though they got along very well. He had his skeptical look on his face, that much Keith could tell. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach and he really hoped that Hunk would agree to this. Though he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out before he threw up on him. 

Hunk was very surprised when Keith shot up from his seat and booked it over to the trash chute to puke his guts up. Normally, Hunk is a very big sympathy puker and would be right over there next to him puking too. But their time in space has seemed to harden his stomach and now he has a gut of steel. Okay, he really didn’t, but he doesn’t puke at the drop of a hat anymore, so that’s a really great improvement. So it wasn’t a problem to go and comfort Keith, to make sure that he was okay. He stood behind Keith and pulled his hair back with one hand and rubbed his back in comforting circles with the other one. Keith spent the next five minutes hurling and retching into the sink. Once he was done, he spit out some saliva, and Hunk escorted Keith back to his stool. He sat him down gently and handed him his glass of water. And Hunk took the plate of cookies out of sight so that they wouldn’t set him off again. Hunk hesitantly sat back down in front of him and waited in case he needed anything. Hunk knew to show comfort quietly when it came to Keith. Even though they didn’t spend a whole lot of time together, Hunk knew how to treat him sort of. Hunk wasn’t stupid, he knew about Keith’s past, sort of. His mother’s a social worker and she used to teach Hunk the signs of children in need, so that if any of his friends in school showed any of these signs he knew how to help them. And Keith has shown all of the signs and red flags that his mother taught him and then some. So he knew to go slow and gentle on this.

When Hunk was sure that Keith was calm down and stable enough he started asking questions. “Keith, I know that this probably seems very forward,” Hunk told him. “But what’s gotten you so worked up that you puke your guts up?” Keith didn’t look him in the eyes after he spoke. Hunk sighed to himself, that means that he’s going to have to play dirty with Keith and he really didn’t want to, but Keith’s left him no choice. “Does this have something to do with one of your abusive foster families?” Hunk asked him. That got him Keith’s full and undivided attention. “What?” Keith asked him sharply. “I asked you about your time in the foster care system.” Hunk told him. “You were abused by some of them were you not?” “How the Hell do you know about any of this?” Keith asked him and Hunk could tell that he was upset. “My mother’s a social worker.” Hunk informed him. “She taught me all of the signs of an abused child, and you show all of them.” Keith deflated a little bit at that. “You’re not going to tell anyone are you?” Hunk shook his head. “No, it’s not my place, if I thought that you were a danger to yourself or anyone else on board, yes.” Hunk told him. “But I don’t think that, so we’re good, though I do warn you, and you can’t get mad at him for it.” Hunk told him sternly. Keith just nodded his head. “Lance has come to me with concerns about how to help you, I don’t know what he knows or what he’s seen about your past, he won’t go into details.” Hunk told him. “But he’s very concerned about you and he wants to help.” Keith looked awestruck at that. “He, he cares that much about me?” Keith asked, and Hunk swears that he sees tears pool in his eyes. “Yeah, he does, and Lance will kill me for telling you this, but Lance is in love with you man, you don’t have to worry about him rejecting you.” Keith didn’t know what to think about that.

Wiping his eyes, Keith put his game face on. He couldn’t let his feelings get in the way of this, he needed to ask Hunk before it was too late. “I need to ask you a favor.” Keith said changing the topic of conversation. “Go ahead, we’re friends, remember?” Hunk told him. “If,..” Keith started. He took a few more minutes before he could talk again and get things sorted out in his head. “If, if anything were to ever happen to me, can you make me a promise?” Keith asked him. Hunk was a bit shocked at this. Hunk himself tries to not think about the possibility that he might not ever make it back to his family in one piece or alive for that matter. But regardless of what went through his head, helping his friend out is more important, and if it helped Keith then he would do it. “Sure Keith, just tell me what you need done.” Hunk told him. “I’m only asking you because I know that you’re his best friend and will do you best to take care of him anyway.” Keith told him. “Will you look after Lance and make sure that he’s okay if something were to ever happen to me?” Keith asked him. Hunk was shocked at this. He hadn’t realized that Lance and Keith had gotten that close over their time in space. Going by the look on Keith’s face Hunk could tell a couple of things about him. One was that he was terrified of what he didn’t know, but he knew that he was scared. The second one was that he was in love, more specifically he was in love with Lance. And the last one was that he would do anything and everything in his power to protect them all, they were his family now and Keith didn’t want to lose any of them again. “Yes.” Hunk told him without any hesitation. “I’ll do anything and everything in my power to take care of Lance.” And that was the first time in a long time that he saw Keith smile, a genuine one, and in Hunk’s opinion, he had a nice one, a very nice one.


	19. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith finally tells the team that he's leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter! Woohoo! We've made it people. The epolouge will be out either tomorrow or sometime later this week. And like I said before I've already started work on the next parts of this series. I'll get emotional with you all when I post the next chapter, but for now the disclaimers. I own nothing but ocs and pot. And there's a warning near the end when Keith exhibits self-descrutive behavior, and acts like he wants to commit suicide, but nothing too graphic. Have a nice day!   
-N.

Chapter 18

“You’re doing what?!” Shiro yelled. And it was the first time in a long time that Keith heard him angry like that. He had forgotten that Shiro could get that loud. It was a couple of days after Keith’s late night talk with Hunk, he only had about 2 more days until Kolivan was coming to get him. So he figured that he might as well go ahead and tell them all that he was leaving now. And things were going a bit better than he thought they would. No one was cussing him out, yet. Everyone was just gathered in the lounge and was staring at him in awe like he had grown another head or something. “I said that I’m leaving to join the Blade full time.” Keith told them calmly. “Black has finally let you back in, and we have too many Paladins and not enough lions to go around.” Keith refused to meet Lance’s eyes when he said this. “Besides, I’m a crappy leader anyway, and everyone knows it.” Keith told them. “I can do more good for this war, working for the Blade now then I can Voltron.” He said. “It’s nothing against you guys I promise, but I need to do this.” During the whole time he was talking Keith refused to look anyone in the eye. He knew that if he did then he wouldn’t be able to talk about any of it. Once he was done he lifted his head to gage everyone’s reactions.

Coran seemed upset, but when they made contact the elder Altean seemed to have a look of understanding in his eyes. Out of all of them, Keith knew that Coran would probably understand his situations the best. He just seemed to get things like this and Keith still hasn’t figured out how he does it. Coran just nodded his head in a way that tells Keith everything was going to be alright. Allura on the other hand seemed completely different than what he was expecting. Keith was fully prepared to have Allura go off on him, all guns blazing, with steam coming out of her ears and head about ready to go flying off of him. But the Allura in front of him now, seems more subdued, and somber. She was quiet, which surprised Keith a great deal. When Keith was able to meet her eyes, he noticed the guilt in them. He didn’t mean to make her think that she was leaving because of all the crap that she’s given him for being Garla and working with the Blade. He would have to go and talk to her about that at a later date. He didn’t exactly have the time to have a heart to heart with the princess before he left/ But Keith was hoping that he was able to convey through his eyes that this wasn’t her fault and that she didn’t need to blame herself.

Pidge, for lack of a better term, had her resting bitch face on. And Keith knows what that is since he’s been told multiple times in his life that he has one and it’s terrifying to look at sometimes. Keith knew that Pidge would be one of them that took it the hardest. Pidge just sort of attached herself to him when they came to space. And no matter what Keith did, he couldn’t get rid of her so he just gave up and took it. They were first introduced to each other when they were younger. Shiro and Matt were best friends at the Garrison, and they had gotten this bright idea to get their younger siblings together so that they could be friends too. That plan backfired and Keith and Pidge had clicked almost immediately. But when their brothers vanished they lost touch and when Keith got booted they thought that they would never see each other again. So when Keith ran into a mini version of Matt Holt along with some of his old Garrison classmates he was shocked. He knew that it was Katie, but if she was going to work the Pidge Gunderson thing far, he’d let her do it. Shiro wasn’t happy about it, but Keith has never really been that good of an influence. He knew that she would be pissed, that was part of the reason that he didn’t want to tell her. He didn’t want to break her heart too. Hunk, just knew. When Keith looked at him, he could see that the dots had finally connected in his brain and he’s gotten the full story to be able to finish the puzzle. Keith knew that he would, especially if their late night conversation went the way he wanted to, which it did. Hunk knew that he was doing this for Lance, and that Keith was absolutely terrified that he would be killed and that Lance would be left all alone. The two of them shared a knowing look, and Keith looked away before everyone figured it out.

Shiro looked upset, and worried and about another 100 or so emotions that flashed through his eyes so quickly that Keith couldn’t read them all before they were gone. His adopted brother and leader was one of the three people that Keith knew would take his departure from the Tea, extremely hard. Keith could tell without even getting a good look at him that Shiro was blaming himself for this. After all it was Shiro who appointed Keith leader and he did crumble underneath the expectations and all of the pressure. But it wasn’t Shiro’s fault for that, it was his own fault. He wasn’t meant to be a leader like Shiro; he had none of the qualities. He was a loner, and a screw up. Keith Akira Kogane was an orphan, who was abused by the people that were supposed to take care of him. He fell through the cracks of the foster care system and was thrown aside like garbage by the people that were supposed to help him. He wasn’t even ¼ of the man that Shiro was. He could never take his place, or even begin to live up to his legend. Shiro wasn’t the one at fault here. The only thing that the man was guilty of was wasting his life trying to help a poor kid who was a lost cause, that everyone else in the world realized years ago and avoided him like the plague. When Keith was able to look at Shiro, he gave him a ‘look.’ He gave him a look that he hoped conveyed all of the apologizes, and love, and respect, and admiration, and gratitude that he felt for him. Shiro saved his life, he’d be dead right now, if it wasn’t for him. Keith didn’t deserve someone like Shiro to love him, but he got him anyway. He could never be able to thank him for all that he’s done.

Lastly, there was Lance. Lance McClain, the Cuban boy that he has had a huge crush on ever since they first met at the Garrison. The same guy that when they met again after Keith got booted for taking out one of Iverson’s eyes that he pretended he didn’t know because that was the first thing that came out of his mouth. The guy who used to try and get him into every little squabble and fight that he started just to get a rise out of him. The same Lance that Keith used to stay awake at night dreaming about what it would be like if Lance could love him like Keith did him. The one thing that Keith can really take away from all of this mess that was war was that he’s fallen even deeper in love with Lance than he was before. And he had gained hope that the boy that he’s been in love with since he was about 12 or 13 years old could love him back and see him as someone to love and not some broken toy that needs to be thrown away. It hurts a lot for Keith to leave them all, especially for Lance. But he has to do it. He has to protect Lance, he can’t just let him give up because he thinks that he’s not good enough to be out there with the rest of them. Lance was an exceptional pilot in his own right, and he had nothing to prove to anyone, especially not Keith. And he was the best sniper that Keith has ever seen in his life. His Dad owned a gun when he was still alive and used to take Keith out to practice shooting with it. Keith hated the thing but his Pop was a pretty good shot, and Lance could shoot circles around the man. Keith really couldn’t look Lance in the eye. He knew that if he did he would break down in front of everyone and he couldn’t do that. He had to stay strong and not let anyone see him be weak. His time in the system taught him that if you showed someone your cracks, then they would just haul off and hit them over and over again until they got you to shatter completely into a million little pieces, so small that no one could put you back together again. Humpty Dumpty would be easier to put back together than Keith is.

Keith couldn’t stay in the room that long after his confession.He felt like he was going to pass out if he stayed in the lounge with his team ayn longer. So he retreated back to his room, hopefully until Kolivan came to get him. But he wasn’t counting on Lance following him and forcing himself into Keith’s room so that they could ‘talk.’ And this was a talk that Keith really wanted to avoid at all possible costs. “Why?” Lance asked him in a small, soft voice. Keith couldn’t get a good read on what was going through his head by his facial expressions. But Keith was really trying to stay away from looking directly at his face. And it didn’t help that Lance was good at hiding his true thoughts and feelings. Keith was sitting on the edge of his bed, while Lance was standing in the middle of his room, right in front of him. Keith couldn’t look Lance in his eye, he knew that if he did then his whole plan would fall apart. “You know why.” Was all that Keith was able to tell him. “¡¿Qué quieres decir con que te vas?! ¡Cuando dijiste que lo arreglarías, no quise decir esto! ¡Idiota! ¡Vas a hacer que te maten!” Lance yelled at him all of a sudden. And his outburst shocked Keith greatly. He’s never seen Lance lose his cool like this. He really pissed Lance off then.

Lance just kept talking, and Keith was too scared to say anything, so he just let the other boy rant. “¡¿por qué?! ¡¿por qué?! ¡¿Estás demente?! Esto es básicamente una misión suicida ! ¡¿Tienes un deseo de muerte?!” Lance yelled at him. Keith just sat there and took, even though every bone in his body was telling him to fight back and yell at Lance he couldn’t do it. He loved the other too much to snap back like that. And he knew that he would probably do and say things that he would regret later on, and wouldn’t be able to take it back. “¡Te quiero tanto, imbécil! ¡¿Te das cuenta de esto?! Probablemente no, pero te diré esto de todos modos. Te quiero, te amo Keith Kogane. Y no puedo dejarte hacer esto, pero también sé que no puedo impedir que lo hagas.” And that was when Keith couldn’t take it anymore. “Speak English!” Keith yelled at him. “ I can’t understand a damn word that you’ve said to me so far.” he told him. “ I know that you’re pissed at my Lance and I get it.” Keith said. “But I couldn’t let you do it alright.” Keith was seething with pent up rage when he was done with his own little rant. “Why?” Lance asked him. “Why couldn’t you?” “Because you’re worth way more to this team than I am.” Keith told him. And that was when he really started to lay into Lance. 

“You’re worth more to this team than you realize.” Keith told him. “You do so much for all of us and you’re the glue that has kept this team together since the beginning.” He said. “You were meant to be the leader not me,” He confessed to him. “You would have been the better choice for this job than me.” And Keith was crying now, he could feel the tears that were streaming down his face. And he was so upset with himself for letting Lance McClain have so much control over his emotions like this. Lance stood there shocked, he was glued to his spot on the floor and he didn’t know what to do with it. He’s never seen Keith break down like this before. Right when he tried to go and comfort Keith, he was stopped. “Get out.” Keith said softly. And if Lance wasn’t standing as close to him as he was he probably wouldn’t have been able to hear him. “What, Keith, look man I know..” Lance tried to say but Keith cut him off. “I SAID GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!” Keith yelled at him. “LEAVE LANCE! GET OUT I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!” And Lance knew that he had screwed up enough for one day and booked it out of the room before Keith could start throwing things at him, again. 

Once Lance was gone, Keith just collapsed on the floor. He was heart broken, and he just couldn’t stop himself from drowning in his own thoughts.Keith jumped up from the floor and ran into the bathroom. He turned on the facet and splashed some water on his face to try and calm him down, but it didn’t work. He just happened to glance up and catch his reflection in the mirror. He hated what he saw. He hated what he saw so much that he just punched the things to shards. With a shaky breath and fast beating heart Keith went down and picked up a piece of it. He held it above his wrist, his hands were shaking so bad that he thought that he was going to drop it. It would be just so easy to go ahead and end it all now. But he couldn’t do it, he just couldn’t. Frustrated, he took the shard and threw it across the room. Crying, Keith sank down to the floor and cried. One of the only things that he could think about was how Kolivan would be coming to get him soon. Then maybe he could make all of these feelings and emotions in his head stop once and for all. He couldn’t wait. 

The day that Keith left for the Blades was a very sad day for all. Everyone met the Blade ship in the loading bay to see him off. Kolivan himself and a couple of other members that he didn’t know stepped out to greet them. Keith gave his final goodbyes to everyone and it was sad. But Lance and Keith didn’t have anything to do with one another the whole time that he was leaving. And Keith couldn’t say that it didn’t hurt any. It hurt a lot, but he wasn’t going to say anything. Lance was free of him now, Hell they were all free of him now. They could all finally go on and do whatever they wanted and finally be happy without him here to get in the way. Looking back one last time as he boarded the ship, Keith smiled at his family. Even though he didn’t want to leave, he knew that all of them were better off without him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations   
What do you mean that you're leaving?! When you said that you'd fix it, I didn't mean this! You idiot! you're going to get yourself killed!   
Why?! Why?! Are you crazy?! This is basically a suicide mission ! Do you have a death wish?!   
I love you so much you asshole! Do you realize this?! You probably don't but I'm going to tell you this anyway. I love you, I love you Keith Kogane. And I can't let you do this, but I also know that I can't stop you from doing it.   
It may not be totally accurate, I used Bing translate.


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the end or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all of you who have stayed and read this. I didn't think that it would blow up like it did, and was very surprised by it. But thank you all for all your comments, kudos, hits, and love, it means a lot to me. And don't worry it's not the end, there's still three more parts left in this series. Klance will get their happy ending. 
> 
> And there's a little warning about Keith and the Battle of Nexala as being a suicide attempt, but other than that it's still pretty tame. Have a nice day, and the rest should be out later this week or at some point in the near future.   
-N.

Epilogue

Things after Keith left were different. Lance wasn't really sure how to describe it other than that. Lance just had this off feeling once he left and Shiro took things back over. Another thing that happened after Keith left was Shiro. There was something with the new/old Black Paladin of their team. And yes, Lance knew that with all of the trauma that he's been through, Shiro isn't the same person that he once was. But that wasn't what Lance was getting at here. He was doing and saying things that they all knew that Shiro wouldn't say or do regardless of the trauma. He's brought his concerns up to Hunk before over the past couple of months that this has been going. Hunk noticed the change too, but he told Lance that he was exhibiting all of the signs of a trauma victim that his mother taught him about. Hunk wasn't wrong, but Lance just had this feeling in his gut that there was something more to this. Though he didn't have any proof and he knew that if he went and brought up his concerns publicly to the whole team then he'd ust be laughed out of the room. To this day, Lance doesn't know why Keith ever thought that Lance was more important to the team than he was. With Shiro back in charge he's just been treating Lance like a little kid. And he hated it.

The first time that Shiro was in control, he treated Keith like an equal, or well like he should be an equal if he just believed in himself. And then when Keith took over after Shiro vanished he treated Lance like he was just as much the leader as he was. Then when Shiro came back he just started to act differently around all of them. He'd undermine every single decision that Keith ever made, and he'd all but go ballistic when they listened to Keith instead of him. He even had Allura turned back against Keith, and agreed when she wanted to go pro Lotor. No wonder Keith wanted to leave, it was hard to be a leader and be respected by your team when all that they ever do is tear you down. And it probably hurt worse coming from the person who was supposed to be like a brother to him. Lance, even though he really didn't want to just sucked it up and let it happen around him. He still put his two cents into the conversation though, even if he got ignored or chewed out every time. He knew that something was wrong and he was fully prepared to figure it out, fix, and still be ready for when their alliance with Lotor came back to bite them in the ass, like he knows it will.

He was also really wanted to talk to Keith about all of this. And even though Lance wasn't very happy that he was leaving and the last conversation that they had face to face before he left wasn't that pleasant. The two of them went forever without talking to one another. And for the longest time Lance thought that Keith had gone back to hating him for what he did. But all of that changed when they tried to go up against the Garla at the Battle of Naxela. The idiot almost blew himself up to kingdom come! Lance had never been that worried about another person in his life before now. He thought that Keith was going to die that day, and he didn't really seem to care about it at all, and that scared Lance even more. He knew that Keith didn't have that high opinion of himself. He knew that Keith had anxiety and probably more mental illnesses than he was letting on or even knew about. Lance knew that Keith struggled with cutting and other forms of self-harm and overworking himself to the point of exhaustion. But refused to think for even a moment that Keith was the least bit suicidal at all. But when said crush tried to ram himself into a protective barrier trying to keep the universe from blowing up, opinions change. And as much as he hates to say this, if it wasn't for Lotor coming in at the last minute then Keith would be dead right now. Lance doesn't even want to think about that possibility.

When everyone came back to the Castle to celebrate afterwards, the first thing that Lance did was try and track Keith down. Surprisingly, it wasn't as hard as Lance thought it was. When the Blade members boarded Keith took off and vanished before anyone could get to him. Lance wasn't sure why he went there, he just had this feeling. He went to go and look for Keith in that secret little look out room that Keith almost killed him in about a year ago. Man, it feels a whole lot longer and a whole lot shorter at the same time since that happened. By the time that Lance found him, Keith was sitting on the little bench at the window, looking outside into space. Lance stood in the doorway for what must have been about 15 minutes, just watching Keith. He wasn't really sure what he was supposed to do about him. He was pretty sure that going up to him and saying "Hey, why did you just try to go and kill yourself?" Wouldn't be the best option for him to do at the time. He was still running every possible scenario in his head on how this would go down when Keith spoke up and shocked him back to reality. "What are you doing here Lance?" Keith asked in a monotone voice. Lance jumped about three feet in the air at the time. "Uh, um, I wasn't doing anything!" Lance said, panicked. And damn it Keith the asshole thought it was funny and started laughing at him, but the way it was just so detached from himself was kind of scary. "That's not what I asked of you." Keith told him. "I asked you why you were here." "Well, I wanted to make sure you were alright." Lance told him as he walked closer into the room. "You kind of disappeared before anyone could check up on you." Keith just shrugged his shoulders in response. He wouldn't say anything else to Lance from that time until the Blade left the next day. And that was the last conversation that the two of them had before Keith just up and vanished into thin air. No one in the Blade knew where he was, and they thought that he was either captured or dead, or most likely both. But Lance wasn't going to give up on him like that. He loved Keith too much to do that, and he deserved someone in his corner fighting for him.

Other things happened while they were in space too. For example, Pidge found both her father and her brother. Then she almost lost them again, and they got into a pretty gnarly fight with Lotor's generals. But luckily they were able to get Pidge's dad off back to Earth safe and sound. They sent him off with messages to all of their families and they hoped that Sam would be able to convince everyone that a threat was coming. If they believed them then maybe they would have a chance to prepare Earth before the Garla tried to come in and take over. Lance didn't even want to begin to think about what would happen to his family if something like this were to happen. So he went and focused on other things to take his mind off of it. It didn't really work but he wasn't going to stop trying anytime soon.

But, hey that wasn’t all of the fun that they had over this long, long journey. There were the promotional stunts that Coran had talked them into doing. Lance himself thought that they were fun, but he was also the only one who had the same sentiment. He knew that Allura really hated it because she had to pretend to be Keith. And he can guess that it wasn’t her favorite part of the job. And Lance can remember them starting all of this PR crap back when Keith was still in command. He hated doing this stuff, Keith didn’t like interacting with people, and he got nervous when he had to go and speak to them publicly. He’d always freak out right before he had to go on. More than once did he have to go and calm Keith down enough so that he could go out there and interact with people. He knew that Keith’s anxiety was bad, he knew that all of this stuff that he was being thrown into wasn’t helping. He felt awful that he couldn’t do anymore than he already was to help Keith out. But Lance was highly doubtful that they had any kind of anxiety medication in space that wouldn’t end up killing them all in the process if he took any of it. He just wanted Keith to be okay, and now he couldn’t even do that since he had no idea where the idiot was! 

And things just kept on spiralling from there. Let’s see, he died, Allura had to bring him back to life. Started working with Lotor, realized he had a Nanny. She’s scary, no wonder Lotor acts like he does. And they were able to make some chaos around the royal ship, that was a fun day. On the other hand, he was pretty sure that Allura was now in love with Lotor, and he had her and Shiro both wrapped around his little fingers. When he tried to confront them about it, things didn’t turn out so well. Allura accused him of being immature and jealous, and said that she didn’t want to talk to him. Shiro told him that he wasn’t seeing the big picture and that he needed to be more open minded. Pidge and Hunk were on his side, but neither wanted to go up against Allura and Shiro. And that left poor Coran stuck in the middle playing mediator. Things on the ship got very, very tense there for a little bit. Then things got worse than that. Allura and Lotor found this sacred Altean place to teach them all of the secrets of alchemy.They all almost died from the lack of oxygen, and that brings them to where they are now. Lotor off with Allura to finish his master plan and Lance with a sinking feeling in his stomach so intense that it could rival all of the headaches that Shiro’s been having these past couple of weeks. Things were going great! NOT. 

There was a highlight to all of this though. It was when they got an incoming transmission from an Altean pod, and it turned out to be Keith! Yes! The moron was still alive, but it was more than that. He looked older and more grizzled, in other words he was hot and Lance wouldn’t mind jumping his bones at all now. He also didn’t come alone. He brought with him another Altean. A giant space wolf that looked pretty cool. And the big taker was that he had a female Garlan with him who was supposed to be his mother! Crazy, right, where that’s not where the story ended. Turns out Lance and Keith were right and Lotor’s been evil all along. His master plan was to take over the universe not help it. There’s more Alteans out there that they didn’t know anything about. Haggar made a clone of Shiro and she’s been mind controlling him since the start. Said clone went rogue and Keith had to go after him to stop him from delivering Lotor to her. He almost lost his crush to death again! Though he’s pretty sure that Keith might still be mad at him since Keith really hasn’t spoken to him, but he’ll give him the benefit of the doubt since things are a little bit nuts at the moment. But he was definitely confessing to Keith after this! Nothing was going to stop him from doing it this time. 

In the end they defeated Lotor and got to go in a rift through dimensions and save the universe again. Though the war is still far from over. And they also lost a lot. They lost the Castle ship and had to travel in the lions, which now decided to die on them. They have Shiro’s body or a Shiro body, which Allura was able to put his consciousness from the Black Lion into it. But finally they get to go home. He gets to go home and see his family and make sure that they’re okay now. And he knows that the journey ahead of them is going to be no picnic, but he knows that with his team by his side that he can get through everything that is thrown their way. And finally, they’re coming home.

The end or is it? 


End file.
